Free humour Kindle books for 05 Dec 13

Lost In Crazytown

by Robert Bryndza

(Previously published as Bitch Hollywood)


‘Just fabulous. Stop everything, sit down and read!’ (Lorraine Sears, Amazon Reader)

‘I really felt as if I was there, as if some freak tornado had deposited me in the middle of La-La Land!’ (Pendle_guy, Amazon Reader)

‘Dark, hilarious, a great story’ (Lisa M Wood, Amazon Reader)

‘British Humour Meets Hollywood!’ (Cynthia Shepp Book Reviews, Amazon Reader)

‘There is so much packed into these pages, some real comedy gems!’ (Mrs. Julie Holt, Amazon Reader)


When handsome twenty-five year old Filip leaves London for a life in Los Angeles, he dreams of being a celebrity stylist. But as the saying goes… be careful what you wish for.

Filip has barely settled into his apartment in the Hollywood Hills when he meets Derek and Hillary – a bizarre middle-aged gay couple in matching jumpers. They introduce him to their neighbour Veronica Madison – a movie star on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

She hires him to style her for a celebrity charity gala and soon Filip is pulled into the dark and hilarious world she inhabits, surrounded by the famous (and infamous) residents of the Hollywood Hills.

Within a few months, Veronica invites him to be her guest at the Oscars and events take on a much darker tone.

Filip faces a choice; should he dive into the murky waters of life in the Hollywood fast lane? Or should he choose happiness and return to the love of his life he left back home in London?

Lost in Crazytown is a darkly comic experience of the Hollywood dream – read it if you dare!

Chocolate Covered Billionaire Navy SEAL

by Luke Young

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but there are probably like three good-looking billionaires on the planet. Generally speaking billionaires look a lot more like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet than Channing Tatum. Don’t get me wrong, Bill and Warren are great guys, but no one is breaking out into a sweat thinking about either one of them. Now there aren’t all that many Navy SEALs floating around either and the ones that are available are generally so busy being, well, Navy SEALs, that you’d be hard pressed to find one with some free time to date.

If you chuckled at the above and enjoy a little sex related humor, this short parody of all the billionaire and Navy SEAL romance novels may just be for you. If you didn’t at least giggle and don’t enjoy that type of humor, you probably should keep looking for your next read.
With that out of the way now on to the real book description…

Heir to a chocolate empire, Brock Fullman joins the elite Navy SEAL team in order to avenge the death of his high school sweetheart. With his billionaire family one bad day in the stock market away from the dreaded “Mm Mm Mm…” word (Yes Millionaire… he’s the only family member who can actually say it), he’s torn between the woman he must marry to guarantee his family’s future and the new woman he secretly loves. Out for revenge, will he destroy the company, his family, himself and all those around him in the process?

Chocolate Covered Billionaire Navy SEAL is a short story (approximately 18,000 words) and falls somewhere in genre between a romantic comedy and contemporary romance parody.
The “SEALionaire” is sometimes off-the-wall absurd, sometimes steamy, but always funny. It contains explicit language, sexual content, features a hot, rich, let’s call him unique, military man, a bitch we love to hate, lots of chocolate (some might argue too much) and a handful of not so bright terrorists. It’s intended for mature audiences and a complete work with none of those pesky cliffhangers!

20% of the proceeds from the sale of this book through the end of 2013 will go to charities whose mission it is to help military families.

Blackjack: The Art of Losing (10 Tips To Lose Less and Win More)

by Stanley Crimson

Why You Lose Decoded

The game of Blackjack is not complicated. There are not very many rules. The rules that they do have are easy to understand and not hard to learn. There are countless books written to teach you all you need to know to quit that 9-5 job and head off to the casino and make a fortune. Do you ever wonder why most people lose when they play, then? The game is not difficult. There are experts everywhere to tell you how to win. Yet, when most people leave the casino they leave with less money than they went with.

Stop Looking For Silver Bullets

The reason why most people lose money playing blackjack is that they spend all of their time trying to find ways to win. It could be card counting or some betting system. They are all designed to be some silver bullet on how to win. My approach is different. I have spent hundreds of hours analyzing why people lose money, not trying to figure out a way to win. If you understand why you lose, you increase your chances of losing less and thus, winning more.

Blackjack is a Simple Game

There are many reasons players lose at the table. I have come up with my top ten reasons that have been tested and proven, and explained each in some detail. I believe if you limit your mistakes, figure out why you are losing; it will go a long way in making your winning evenings even bigger. And better yet, turn your losing evenings into winning ones.

Good luck to all and happy hunting!!!!!!

Would it kill you to say please? A guide to modern manners

by Alice Williams

So you can make a bomb out of chewing gum and a matchstick and you know how to swing Swedish porn as a tax deduction. You can tell Tiffany bling from a Bangkok Fugazi, and are familiar with the maze of modern living, but do you know the courteous formula for declining casual sex? Or the exact stage of a party at which nudity becomes a social obligation?

Would it kill you to say please? is for people more interested in figuring out how to deal with a patronising boss than in penning scented thank-you notes. It’s for those who find themselves in the grips of a raging addiction, yet still have to negotiate public spaces. It’s for those who wake up one day and have no desire to get out of their dressing gown, yet would like to remain socially acceptable.

More than just a manners guide, Would It Kill You to Say Please? is a lifesaver – an antidote to the failure of conventional etiquette to equip us for the anxieties of modern life.

Candy Crush Saga Guide: Tablet Version

by Candy Man

Candy Crush cheats and hacks. Learn professional strategies to master Candy Crush.

Notes from a Reluctant Alpha Male

by J GS

A modern update of Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s Notes from the Underground with a uniquely American twist. A tale of humor, angst, self deprecation and frustration with a state of being in a very strange masculine world. Flavored with hints of redemption, some poetry and Other Notes.

Ten Tales of Frothy Play (Ten Tales Series)

by Alex Carrick

In this 6th volume of his “Ten Tales” series, Alex Carrick presents a selection of 13 playful short stories (10 plus 3 bonus tales!) that are sure to delight. These mini-anthologies are designed to offer a generous sampling of Mr. Carrick’s work.

Chapter titles include: (1) Bad Starts to the Working Day; (2) For Daisy, Life is a Stretch; (3) The Seagull Poet of Butter Bay; (4) Chasing a Murderer into Polar Bear Country; (5) Knowing when You’ve had Enough of Your Summer Holiday; (6) Canadian Male Pick-up Lines; (7) Which Letter of the Alphabet is the Funniest?; (8) A Dozen Answers to One Osama Bin Laden Mystery; (9) A Mathematical Proof Economists are Sexy; (10) Ode to Canada’s National Game (no, not hockey) as well as the Bonus Extras: (11) Spotting the Space Aliens Among Us; (12) The Most Serious Letter in the Alphabet; (13) Marshall of Cahoots

Mr. Carrick is a critically-acclaimed author whose story “The Size of the Skip” – found in “Three Scoops” Is A Blast! – was short-listed for the 2010 Lorian Hemingway Short Story Award. In 2011, he received another Honorable Mention in the world-renowned Hemingway competition for “Caboose Follies”, which appears in “Four Scoops” Is Over The Top.

Angry Birds Guide: Tablet Version

by Angry Man

Angry Birds is a highly addictive game that requires a lot of skill and know how. This guide will provide you the knowledge to easily beat the game. Be the best player you know.

A Little Too Innocent

by Kathryn Norys

Mark Hitt, who has been away from the city for years, returns to the university to earn a Master’s Degree and attends a grad party where he glimpses Addie O’ Daniel across the room; the formerly shy, innocent appearing girl is now a beautiful and seductive woman. A commotion erupts in the kitchen created by police officer, Cal Packard. Mark overhears that both Packard and Robert Meade, a professor whose class both he and Addie had taken, were having affairs with the seductress.

Days later the cop is killed, Addie disappears, and Mark finds himself to be a prime suspect in Packard’s murder, all because he calls Addie’s home phone numerous times, leaving messages that are interpreted as suspicious. Later, he stumbles over a body in an abandoned room near the home he used to rent. Once again, Mark Hitt is suspected of killing someone.

Mark is running from the law and running after a murderer. After numerous blundering attempts to solve the crimes, Mark turns for help to David Epstein, an ingenious childhood friend, who accepts the challenge with gusto and unravels the mystery as he exposes the murderer.

Complicated Lives

by Vivian Flowers

This is a journal style short story based around people in my life. These stories are also laced with my opinions. This is meant to be a humorous look at life as I knew it, or life as I’ve seen it. This is written with errors, run on sentences, sentence fragments, excessive punctuation and local dialect. I wrote this using the words, the never ending sentences, and spellings echoing the way the English language is used or abused in a few different vernaculars. Do not expect a very polished work with large words.

This is based on a group of people I’ve known, or people I’ve encountered. I have not written about any one specific person or persons aside from myself or people who gave me consent. If you see yourself or someone you know in this story, it’s because these are very common occurrences and situations all over the nation.

If you choose to download this short story, I thank you very much and hope you find it funny. I also hope you don’t find my opinion offensive, it is after all an opinion and not the way things are or should be.

If you don’t choose to download it, I hope you find an even funnier story out there and enjoy it very much.

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