Free humour Kindle books for 10 Dec 13

The Secret Diary of Adrian Cat

by Linda Macfarlane

About Adrian:
Adrian is no ordinary cat – he has ambitions. Not only does he want to become the most famous cat in the world but he’s also determined to create world peace between cats, dogs and mice.

Adrian’s life is full of complications! In an attempt to win the affections of the power crazed, but beautiful, Snowball he is forced to join a gang run by the most evil cat in town – Killer. But Killer also loves Snowball and he’s not going to let Adrian steal her away – not without a fight. On top of all of this Adrian has many adventures; he goes treasure hunting with a pirate parrot, saves the life of a fox and helps his best friend out of all sorts of trouble.

Whether you are nine or ninety-nine you will delight in Adrian’s escapades and mishaps so join him in his thrilling adventures and discover whether he can overcome all his problems to find love, fame and happiness.

“The Secret Diary of Adrian Cat” is a hilarious account of one-year in the life of Adrian Cat – perfect for teenagers and adults. It contains some very funny sophisticated humor.

The secret lives and loves of cats are revealed in this adventure novel, entitled “The Secret Diary of Adrian Cat” that peeks into a year in the life of the mischievous feline Adrian Cat. Adrian is having trouble keeping his new year’s resolutions (especially “I will not be condescending to my humans”), and he’s also adjusting to the fact that his humans have a new baby, his best friend needs constant help, and he’s in love for the first timeâ??with the angelic-seeming Snowball. But Snowball turns out to be less than perfect and tries to lead Adrian into organized crime. She forces him to join the evil cat Killer’s gang. After numerous misadventures he realizes that he does not love the beautiful but power-crazed Snowball and really loves the scruffy yet tender alley cat named Gypsy. After Killer’s gang runs Gypsy out of town, Adrian is forced to make some strange friends, fight the evil Killer and travel a rough road in order to convince Gypsy of his love.

<<< EXTRACT >>>>

Sunday March 2nd

Today I had an intellectual day – Snowball would be impressed (if we were speaking).

Wrote a poem entitled DesideCata. I am thinking of becoming a cat laureate!

DesideCata
Stroll placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in a long tranquil nap. As far as possible, without being in any way humble, be on good terms with all creatures – with the obvious exception of dogs. Meow your desires loudly and clearly and occasionally listen to others, even your human, for she may be calling you for dinner. Avoid the company of fleas, they are vexations to both spirit and body. Enjoy your achievements – particularly wallpaper lovingly scratched and pieces of string thoroughly chased. Keep interest in your career, there will always be a need for good mousers in the changing fortunes of time. Be yourself; especially do not feign affection – except when you need a warm lap to sleep on. Neither be cynical about the love of cream, for through your charmed and enchanted existence it is as perennial as the grass it comes from.

Take kindly the council of the years and rejoice in the fact that you have nine lives.

Nurture arrogance of spirit to shield you from sudden misfortune such as getting stuck up a tree. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born out of getting less than twenty hours sleep in a day. Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself and groom yourself frequently. You are a cat of the universe, so much greater than humans and dogs; you have a right to be served. And even though you may sleep through most of it, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. With all its snacks, adventures and peaceful dreams, it is truly a beautiful world. Be content. Continue to be happy.



Grastik’s Plastic Princess (a laugh out loud comedy)

by David Jester

Grastik’s Plastic Princess is a crude and twisted black comedy, set in a curious slice of suburbia.

Adam Grastik is a friendless, loveless, middle-aged loner. He’s the typical weirdo next door; never had much luck with women or the human race.

Then his dream girl, the love of his miserable life, arrives in the post: a plastic fantastic doll, the answer to all his problems. Unfortunately, he soon discovers that Bethany is not as perfect as he first thought. She’s reckless; leaves crumbs on the floor and refuses to do any housework. On top of that, she refuses to sleep with him — to consummate their love — because of a headache, tiredness or stress caused by the idiot stoners next door.



A Black Girls Guide to Dating White Men By Niki McElroy

by Niki McElroy

This book is a guide to help Black women, young and old, maneuver through the dating process as it pertains to dating white men. It entails bits of history, stories, recipes and jokes. The Author urges black women to open their options and to give white men a try.

“I think many women limit themselves to dating only within their race. I believe we should be opened minded to all races. In dealing with white men, I’ve found my self thinking either this guy isn’t into black girls or he’s assuming I don’t have interest in white men. From reading Niki’s book, I’ve realized sometimes its neither and just maybe we could all use a little help. I believe Niki’s book delivers that help in a hilariously honest way”

-Meagan Good (actress)



Letters From Thailand Volume One

by Jack Anders

Welcome to the first book in the series, “Letters From Thailand”. This series of books describe the more humerus side of a life in Thailand. Whether the topic is serious or not, there is always a humerus side to nearly everything that occurs in Thailand, and “Letters From Thailand” focuses on the funny side of every topic.
Consisting mostly of short stories, the author hopes to convey some of the activities and antics that occur daily in the Land of Smiles. Some of these stories are about foreigners that holiday and reside here; others are about Thais. Many describe the interactions between the two cultures that occur and the totally different perceptions and understandings of each towards the other.
Some stories may be informative and others may be a warning of how one can become, if they actually start to believe that a life in the tourist areas of Thailand is real life. There are certainly thousands of examples of foreigners living in the tourist areas of Thailand that believe that it is real life. These individuals feature in many of the stories.
“Letters from Thailand” is a collection of stories about everything and anything that occurs on any street corner, sporting facility or entertainment venue. Some stories are funny, some have happy endings and others end in disaster.



Minecraft: Top 30 Epic Resource Packs

by Minecraft Books

From #1 Best-Selling Author Minecraft Books (Jason Scott)

Minecraft is certainly not famous for it’s graphics or game depth, but rather more for the player’s ability to alter the world to their desire.

Resource packs are there to pick up the slack, adding more texture and depth to the game beyond what the developers originally created. It takes the world of Minecraft to a whole new level that advanced Minecraft players can really appreciate.

This eBook will show you the Top 30 Minecraft Resource Packs out there that you simply cannot play without.

Games are always more fun when they are aesthetically pleasing, so give some of these a try!

Grab Your Own Copy NOW!



Not the Marrying Kind (Destiny Bay Romances – Forever Yours)

by Helen Conrad

The books in this series are loosely connected.  Each can stand alone.  Will she risk her heart to catch a thief?

Shelley Carrington isn’t sure if movie-star handsome Michael Hudson is a conman or one of the good guys and when he draws her into his crazy schemes, she finds herself walking a tight rope. His lovemaking thrills her but his games scare her.  Is he a good guy or not?  She’s had so much uncertainty in her life, she doesn’t dare to trust her own judgment. She watches him fool and dazzle others-is he doing the same to her? Is that why she can’t even trust what her own heart tells her?

Includes love scenes.
Original published in print by Loveswept and recently revised as part of the Destiny Bay Series.

Destiny Bay-Forever Yours Series
Book 1-My Little Runaway
Book 2-Wife For a Night
Book 3-Too Scared to Breathe
Book 4-Make Believe Wife
Book 5-Promoted to Wife
Book 6-Not the Marrying Kind



Bad Lawyer! True Tales of Lawyers Losing Their Licenses, Getting Suspended, or Otherwise Getting into Trouble

by Matt Thornton

Lying. Cheating. Stealing.

Doing STUPID stuff.

You might not need any more reasons to dislike lawyers—but you can sure have fun reading about the stuff they did to get into trouble!

Bad Lawyer! Volume 1 is a work of approximately 2,500 words which reviews a few real-life cases of lawyers who got into ethical troubles.

Matt Thornton is the pseudonym of a lawyer who has worked in the attorney discipline process for almost twenty years. Matt has handled lawyer disciplinary cases, briefed them, has published legal ethics works under his real name, and argued before his state’s highest court in a lawyer disciplinary case.

Matt won’t go so far as to say he’s seen it all when it comes to lawyers getting into trouble–but he has seen quite a lot. So he wanted to write some short, accessible pieces about cases to let the public take a peek inside this interesting, strange, and sometimes very frustrating world–the world of attorney discipline.



The Gigantic Hilarious Book Of Jokes

by Zachary Brammer

Caution May Cause Excessive Uncontrollable Laughter!!!

The Gigantic Hilarious Book Of Jokes is GUARANTEED to MAKE YOU LAUGH

No matter Where Or What you are doing. Not matter what your situation is in life

This book will bring a smile to your face, and will make you laugh. This book is not intended to treat prevent or cure any illness however it WILL Increase Levels Of Natural Happiness

+_+ “) “P

The Gigantic Hilarious Book Of Jokes Includes many types of jokes which include

Hilarious One Liner Jokes

Hilarious Yo Momma Jokes

1#Yo Momma So Fat Jokes

2#Yo Momma So Stupid

3#Yo Momma Is So Ugly

Hilarious One Liner Blonde Jokes

More Hilarious Blonde Jokes

Hilarious Lawyer Jokes

Hilarious Knock – Knock Jokes

More Hilarious One Liner Jokes

Hilarious Alcohol Jokes

Hilarious Animal Jokes

Hilarious Police Officer Jokes

Hilarious Jokes About Life

Hilarious Jokes About Kids

Hilarious Jokes About School

This book was created and designed to bring and spread laughter and happiness to everyone in need. We all need some laughter in our lives, it’s medically proven to be Mentally and Physically healthy for humans.

I genuinely hope everyone enjoys it, and would really appreciate and suggest you buy the full version of my book. Every little bit helps, especially when one has nowhere to live 🙂

Best Regards !!!

Zachary Lee Brammer



Thank You Notes 2 (Part Two)

by Rico Lanzo

Hey all, This is a continuation of the best selling parody of Jimmy Fallon’s “Thank You Notes.”

If you enjoy his humor, you’ll LOVE ours… This book is chaucked full of things that just really piss people off. So vent with the authors and join in the party.



The Express

by james j jameson

Set in a newspaper printing factory, this is a story about minimum wage employees and their place in the world. The narrator describes his brief employment in the “mail room” of the factory from his first interview to the last time he punches the clock, and along the way he encounters humorous difficulties with the physical and mechanical-knowledge aspects of the job, both of which he is very under-qualified for. The narrator also tries to fit in as “the new guy” with a colorful assortment of various characters and their inevitable personal issues, and he learns a great deal at the factory as an outside observer about human nature and the fluctuating degrees of their personal and professional interactions.



Mommy & Daddy Are Too Old

by Dwayne Denver

A humorous picture book for overwhelmed parents of a certain age. Something like one out of every five women worldwide is delaying having her first baby until the age of 35. Nuts. We deserve to be made fun of.



All in All It’s Just Another Hole in the Wall

by Leonard Stegmann

There’s a big hole in the living room wall. Which brother is to blame? Certainly not the Oldest! (Humor Nostalgia/1045 Words)



FROGS THAT GO POP IN THE ROAD

by mick o’brien

A story of three friends, apprentices, group members, and their lives and holiday. Based on real events in 1968, but with altered names.
As you will see, music has always been a big influence or part of my life. I hope you enjoy your selections from this literary jukebox.



Sex Gone WRONG! (Hilarioius Sights, Smells, and Sounds of 101 Sexual (mis)Adventures)

by Lilla Blommor

Adult Sexual Humor. Memoir. Satire. Lilla Blommor bares her soul (and quite a bit more) in this outrageously funny poke at myriad bloopers and blunders that can occur before, during, and after sex. Lilla boldly ventures where few have dared to go and shamelessly tells you all about it. Why? After a hugely successful wordpress blog that was read in over 50 countries, she decided to see if she could possibly make a few dollars from your laughs. In volume one you’ll read about her sexual mishaps, amazing feats of stamina, near death experiences, and her most sexually humiliating moments. Before Lilla got a grip and settled down a bit, she found she had enough stories from over 35 years of unfortunate sexual misdeeds and misdemeanors to fill several tomes. So, her faithful readers will not have to fear a bit: volume 2 is already under way! Warning and word to the wise: keep a clean change of underwear handy, because you might just mess yours while you’re laughing with Lilla.



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