Free humour Kindle books for 11 Dec 13

Penis: A Collection of Essays

by January Nelson

When it comes to appendages, none rise to the occasion quite like the penis. Their commitment to sticking it out through the hard times is admirable: a penis never shies away from a hairy situation. The long and short of it is, we should pull out all the stops to celebrate mankind’s… mankind. In this collection of hilarious penises, we discuss the finer points of the penis â?? no pun intended.



The Itty Bitty Book of Bad, Bitter Poetry

by C.R. Black

Have you had a soul-sucking office job? Do people and things annoy you easily? Have you ever had a desire to express your feelings in verse? Within these pages you will find bad poems and worse illustrations about those very things that bother, annoy, alarm, disturb and irritate. If they make you laugh, then the author’s suffering in one hellish office job after another will not have been in vain.



In Space No One Can Hear You Rock!

by Jonathan Davison

23rd century Earth.

Detecting ancient radio signals from a classic period in our planets musical past, an alien race have sought out Earth in order to rekindle their own sterile, homogenised culture.

Can Johnny Dee, one of a new breed of prodigious talents rescue the galaxy from its own mediocrity just with the power of an ancient phenomena known as Rock n Roll?

Will his band of social misfits ever sign for the mysterious Black Widow Records and take the galactic tour? Will Johnny’s ego, overactive loins and infactuation with the beautiful but out of reach Bryony May be his undoing as realises that he is the only man who can save the world?

This book contains scenes of sexual gratification, debauchery, substance abuse and very loud music.

Come on in!

In Space No One Can Hear You Rock! is written by Sci -Fi author Jonathan Davison, and is a departure from his normal work. Witty, sexy, satirical and outrageous, the adventures of Johnny Dee will have you cringing, laughing out loud and remembering the good ol’ days of Rock n Roll!

CAUTION: This book contains adult themes, language and scenes of a sexual nature.



Me & Gus on the Roof of the World

by Danny Breslin

So funny you won’t be able to catch your breath!

Read the critically acclaimed true story of a man’s struggle to survive and find a decent cup of tea…
What is a man who is afraid of heights doing in the Himalayas?
A dream trip turns into a living nightmare in which a not-so-hardy traveller faces danger at every turn. A tale of altitude sickness, daring escape attempts, organ harvesting Tibetan Gangsters, facing a Chinese Army firing squad and some of the world’s most dangerous toilets!
Me & Gus on the Roof of the World has action, adventure, belly laughs and pandas…what more do you want from a holiday?



Twilight Series Interactive Games Quiz Book EXPERTS ONLY: 101 Interactive Quizzes for Twilight Series Fans

by Quiz Bug

The first novel of Twilight Series, Twilight, was published in 2005 and has achieved boundless popularity and commercial success around the globe. The four books written by Stephenie Meyer including Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn have been immensely popular especially among young adult readers, and have won several awards such as British Book Award and Kid’s Choice Award. Twilight Series has been translated into over 38 languages and has sold enormously, more than 116 million copies worldwide. It has also been adapted into a film series Twilight Saga, which has gained a huge success with the gross over $2 billion worldwide.

If you claim that you are a fan of Twilight, can you prove it? Forget about those shallow questions you ask those beginners and get real. Take these 101 interactive quizzes, all about Twilight Series and see if you can call yourself an EXPERT!



Balanced Battles in the Four Pawns Attack of the Modern Benoni, King’s Indian Defense and the Mikenas Attack (Chess is Fun)

by Edward Allen

The Four Pawns Attack against the Benoni and King’s Indian defenses represents one of the most dynamic, daring and dazzling attempts to secure an advantage with the white pieces. White stakes his entire fate and fortune on quickly occupying the center with f2-f4 and intends to smash through with e4-e5 disrupting black’s forces and prying open the black king position. Black attempts to counter white’s aggression by preventing a successful central thrust and by expanding on the queenside where there is a 3 to 2 pawn majority. Both adversaries must rely on an intuitive grasp of the position, knowledge of the state of the art in theory and nerves of steel.

This book is composed of 12 very heavily annotated games which illustrate the key ideas for both sides in this swashbuckling opening.

Dr. Edward Allen is two-time New Jersey state champion, a former New Jersey Intercollegiate chess champion, five-time Hudson County New Jersey chess champion, member of the United States Amateur Championship Team in the early 1970’s, member of several New Jersey Amateur Championship Teams and a New Jersey State senior champion.



Turquoise and Terracotta

by Alexis Rian

Genevieve has a complicated past that has predicted her future. Torn between accepting lies and finding out the truth, she’s forced to re-evaluate her relationship with new beau, Brandon, when a friend from her past, Joseph, re-enters her life with a vengeance. A photograph surfaces, turning her entire world upside down, and the road to recovery becomes a twisted journey in this new adult fiction.



Counterfeit Sauerkraut & The Weekend Teeth

by Jon Dawson

Jon Dawson’s bi-weekly column has been a feature of the Kinston Free Press since 2008. Dawson has won 11 North Carolina Press Association Awards for writing about subjects as diverse as:

– Deer hunting with drones

– A La Grange man’s 36-hour ordeal trapped in a car wash

– An expose on the consumption of gay chicken

– NBC’s proctology division

– A toddler arrested for lingerie theft

– The burglary that led to a father and son reunion

– Kitten tossing

– A doctor’s fight to operate a funeral home out of his practice

– The War on Valentine’s Day

– The decline of funeral food

– A seven-fingered man’s love affair with fireworks

– Religious exemptions from home work

What people are saying about “Counterfeit Sauerkraut & The Weekend Teeth”:

“This is the best book I’ve ever read.” – J.D. Salinger’s landscaper

“I used to think I was funny, but ‘Counterfeit Sauerkraut & The Weekend Teeth’ trumps anything I’ve ever done.” – friend of Tina Fey

“I haven’t laughed this hard since I pushed Johnny Carson off the Tonight Show.” – Jay Leno



Monday Madness With Uncle Ken (The Uncle Ken)

by Douglas Connor

My Uncle Ken is a placid man, a man who likes the routine of our Monday night’s at the local pub. But Uncle Ken has a meaner side, one that appears after a few quiet drinks when the dangerous subject of Elvis arises.
One thing I learnt during that Monday night, mohair jumpers are not for fighting!



25000 Expert Spellrex Puzzles to Improve Your IQ (SPELLING IQ BOOST)

by Kalman Toth M.A. M.PHIL.

As indicated on the cover, this book contains twenty five thousand expert Spellrex puzzles designed to improve your IQ. Spellrex puzzles are missing letter word games; there are blanks indicating the missing letters. The goal is to find the missing letter(s) and complete the word. Each page in this book contains 100 puzzles and can have from one to four solutions, depending on the level of difficulty. Puzzles are classified by level, from easy to expert. Answers are in reverse order at the bottom of each page.

How to Use This Book

This book of Spellrex puzzles was created with the objective of providing educators, students, and adults with puzzles to stimulate the mind and provide enjoyment. The puzzles are not hard: they do not need long, complicated directions with many examples. One of the benefits of Spellrex puzzles is their entertainment value. So try the methods for solving we have provided for you, or discover one of your own. Either way, the twenty five thousand puzzles provided are sure to give you days of challenging fun.

Whom Spellrex Puzzles Are For

Educators and Students

Spellrex puzzles can increase vocabulary and improve students’ spelling skills. There are always new words to learn as you stretch your mind finding the missing letters to fill in the blanks. Spellrex puzzles also strengthen word recall and improve memory.

Seniors

According to the Alzheimer’s Association, “. . . higher levels of education appear to be somewhat protected against Alzheimer’s, possibly because brain cells and their connections are stronger.” Spellrex puzzles can keep the brain alert and active.

Everyone

Whatever your age, education level, or ability, Spellrex puzzles can benefit you with their entertainment value and the ability to influence your IQ.

How to Solve Spellrex Puzzles

Learning how to solve Spellrex puzzles quickly and successfully takes some practice. Your mind searches for patterns. When you encounter a Spellrex puzzle, your mind immediately begins trying to fill in the blanks with the missing letters. You can use the following methods if you find the solution not readily apparent.



Basic Bitch

by Big Mama

Irreverent entertainment ignites this book and you’ll fall in love with the characters.

Big Mama and her panel dish on all the gossip in this no-holds-barred session. From politicians to celebrities, Big Mama and her panel say what you’re thinking and unflinchingly discuss drugs, sex, betrayal, and insanity. Absolutely no basic bitch is safe from the sharp intellect and scathing tongue of Big Mama and her panel as they dish on Todd “legitimate rape” Akin, Eminem, Paula Deen, Tim Tebow, Sarah Palin, and several others.

You’ll fall in love with Big Mama and the colorful characters on her panel as you laugh-out-loud and explore the juicy and scintillating topical issues polite conversation skirts. It’s time to get real with Big Mama!



MINECRAFT: 102 Combat Tips and Tricks

by Minecraft Tips and Tricks

SPECIAL RELEASE PRICE!

Sick of being killed when playing Minecraft? Having trouble when venturing into the Nether, and need some tips on how to handle Ghasts or Zombie Pigmen? How about tackling Creepers, Endermen, or zombies?

With special details and instructions for mobs in the game – from Blazes, to Cave Spiders, to Wither Skeletons, and everything in-between – there are 102 fantastic tips and tricks, as well as factsheets for every mob, telling you where to find them, how they attack, how much EXP they provide, their health – all this and more! The guide is also illustrated, with pictures to show enemies, as well as useful crafting recipes.

So what are you waiting for? Grab the book, and become the best at survival in Minecraft today!



Tigerfish! Humor with Meat – Fishing and Hunting in West Africa

by M. Sid Kelly

If you go to live on the Niger River in West Africa, don’t forget your pole, your sense of humor, and your camera!

A two-year African adventure in which we laugh while learning the answers to some important questions:
     How do you land an electric fish, and what if you screw up?
     What happens when a cobra tries to get in the boat?
     Which one lure will catch tigerfish, Nile perch, catfish, Tilapia, etc?
     Where do you catch a tigerfish, and then how do you deal with its teeth?
     When is a fish going to kill you if you eat it?     Who might you meet, and what are they saying?  

This is a humorous true account of sport and traditional fishing, and locals hunting – as experienced by the author and his wife during their two-year service as U.S. Peace Corps volunteers in Mali from 1992 to 1994, and during a return trip in 2005.

The author is a fish biologist with a keen interest in figuring out what the heck is going on. But the adventure was rarely what he expected, and sometimes the humor required hindsight…

This photo-journal contains 19,000+ words and 140 color photographs. It opens with sport fishing, and details the author’s pursuit of tigerfish, Nile perch,and other species including the dubious dodo.

The second part is an account of experiences and observations made during the large community fishing events that take place in the waters of the floodplain during the dry season. You may have seen similar events on viral videos. But here you will find an explanation of what these events are really about. Some folks who comment on those videos should put their assumptions aside…

The third section provides a brief description and numerous pictures of the life and work of small-scale commercial Somono fishers.

The final section documents two traditional fire hunts on the river floodplain.The quality of photos is somewhere between National Geographic and the Loch Ness Monster. Most are scans from the original slides, and they are presented at the highest resolution that Amazon allows for ebooks.

The appendix contains links to the author’s videos of related material.



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