Free humour Kindle books for 18 Dec 13

How to Turn Your Boring Movie into a Hitchcock Thriller

by Jeffrey Michael Bays

With full color examples, fun cartoons, and an easy-to-follow narrative style, filmmakers will now get Alfred Hitchcock’s cinematic techniques on a level of detail never before matched. Hitch is back from the grave to tell modern filmmakers what they are doing wrong. In this tongue-in-cheek fictional personification of the master himself, filmmakers get real tips based on Hitchcock’s interviews and writings throughout his career.

Professional Reviews:

“For decades, aspiring filmmakers had to play detective, poring over archival footage and interviews to discover clues to Hitchcock’s success. How to Turn Your Boring Movie into a Hitchcock Thriller puts an end to such sleuthing. Here, Jeffrey channels Hitchcock’s voice, gathering his scattered wisdom and putting it all together in one package that’s as neat and tidy as the perfect crime.”

â?? Joel Gunz, Founder, Alfred Hitchcock Geek

“Jeffrey has wisely gone straight to The Master, Alfred Hitchcock, for the many astute principles in this book. A recurring idea is, â??Keep it simple’. For example, Chapter Six, on editing, advises: if you’re showing an innocent man walking through a spooky house, avoid fancy angles. Study carefully Bays’ explanation. He writes good sense! His â??how to’ book will assist any filmmaker, beginner or advanced.”

â?? Ken Mogg, Author, The Alfred Hitchcock Story

“…an exciting page turner for any filmmaker who wants to channel their inner Hitchcock. Writing in the style of â??The Master’ himself, Jeffrey takes the reader through the principles of suspense, storytelling, characterization and much more, with Hitch’s dead-pan humor and lugubrious wit, so that exposition never becomes a dull moment. Highly recommended.”

â?? Tony Lee Moral, Author, Alfred Hitchcock Master Class

Candy Crush Saga: Platinum Edition Guide

by Candy Games

Enter into the World of Candies!

The biggest game crave sweeping the nation!

This is a MUST HAVE!

Why wait any longer!

Candy Crush Saga Candy Crush Game Guide: The Sweetest Tips, Divine Hints and Delicious Tricks to Playing Candy Crush

by Mark Mulle

Candy Crush Saga has garnered millions of fans from all around the world, making it one of the most popularly downloaded and highest rated games of all times.

The game challenges you to various objectives similar to other match puzzle games but it takes more brains than brawns. Objectives may vary from one level to another. Some of the game modes include clearing out all the jelly squares, obtaining a set score using only limited amount of moves, and other tricky trials. The main objective of the game is about combining the right candies to achieve the goal of that level.

”Candy Crush Saga Candy Crush Game Guide: The Sweetest Tips, Divine Hints and Delicious Tricks to Playing Candy Crush” will provide you with the tips, tricks, and strategies to help you move further up the candy kingdom and even further up on the leader boards.

Never get stuck in any level and experience the ultimate candy bliss with this game guide. Hurry and get a copy today!

Eighteen, Blue: (Short Stories Volume II)

by Lazlo Ferran

Five Short Stories AND Chapter 1 of both Iron I: Too Bright the Sun and Ordo Lupus and the Temple Gate for FREE. Solve the Secret Codes in Ordo Lupus.

Henry’s Car
In this hilarious sci-fi story, a Time Traveler from the 16th Century develops a taste and talent for for stock-car racing.

Eighteen Blue
Mongoose is a card player in the 22nd Century dust-lands, outside the border of USAC territory in North America. But card games are different here: they involve the bounty-hunting of biker gang-members sponsored by the State Police who are too afraid to venture beyond the borders. Mongoose has a history, and into that history steps Ron.

A humorous tale about the first Board Meeting in History and its single Agenda Item.

Another One for No 19
Machine 19, the last Janitor bot still moving, travels on to its last assignments as Isha and Danel in NewYork District of Central City wonder how to change their meaningless lives.

Ilya Kuznetsov, a clerk in Stalinist Russia, has discovered that what he thought of as his fool-proof system of recording mail delivery has gone wrong. An envelope is missing and he is determined to find it.

The Internet’s Most Insulting Comments (Best of Internet Comment Insults)

by Bill Fogarty

Thousands of comment boards were scrutinized to find the funniest and most insulting comments left by right wingers, left wingers and wing dingers! This is the funniest collection of internet comments ever assembled. It will leave you in tears!

Don’t Play Like Me! 102 Tactics From the Games of a Chess Hobbyist

by Dave Couture

102 tactical positions from real games, with 900 more on their way (for no additional cost)!

I am working on a book of 1,000 problems and want to get feedback on what I’ve done so far. I’d like to offer this e-book for free, but Amazon requires that I charge a minimum of $1.99. So, if you purchase this book, email me at [email protected] and when I finally publish the finished book of 1,000 tactics (probably early 2015), I will notify you when I make use of Amazon’s “Free Book Promotion” where authors are allowed to offer their books for free for a limited time.

All of the positions in this book are from my own games. Suffice it to say that my games over the past 30 years include many positions where I either missed tactics or blundered to make a tactic available to my opponent.

So take this chance to learn from my mistakes and “Don’t Play Like Me!”

There Comes a Point In Being Dumb, That Only a Genius Could Do It: The Tweets of @WadeHance

by Wade Bearden

There is a blurry line that divides the dumb and the genius. A line that can make or break a man. Wade Bearden attempts to walk that line in his book, “There Comes a Point in Being Dumb, That Only a Genius Could Do It.” Here you’ll find a collection of Wade’s funniest, brightest, and dumbest tweets. Tackling topics like relationships, mustaches, NASA, and zombies, Wade will have you laughing out loud with his 140 character creations.

Great Jokes 2: A Really Funny Collection of Truly Good Jokes

by Jim Cartwright

Author Jim Cartwright has been scouring joke-hoards from around the world at great personal risk for well over a decade. He infiltrated (and then escaped from) the depths of Compton, the depths of the Hamptons, and even the notoriously-lethal Women’s Institute… but he couldn’t escape the AISB. Now that we’ve caught up with him and forcibly extracted everything he knows, the result is this fabulous collection of more than half a thousand jokes, carefully themed and arranged for your convenience and delight.

You ought to be aware that just about everyone gets mocked within the pages of this book at one time or another – foreigners and Americans, boys and girls, golfers and couch potatoes, men and women, cats and dogs, religion and atheism, Presidents past and present, human beings and Rick Santorum, and everyone and everything in between. This is, above all, an equal opportunities joke book.

Of course, if you’re of a sensitive disposition or are easily offended, please keep away from this book. Jokes are often rude or bawdy, frequently contain strong language, are rarely politically correct, and even, sometimes, can be shamelessly geeky – and the ones in this volume are no exception to that rule.

We’ve tried to keep the dark stuff out of the book, but it’s one of those areas without hard and fast definitions. We want to make people laugh, not make them feel bad.

Still here? Great! Let’s go have a good laugh together.

If you like Great Jokes, you’ll also love Over the Hill by George Dorn, a wonderful collection of wit and wisdom relating to aging – and remember to pick up the other volumes in the amazing Great Jokes series.

Journal Prompts & Creative Writing Ideas for An Affair to Remember

by Mischell Day

The movie An Affair to Remember has been revered as one of the most romantic movies of all time. It’s been remade over and over again. Women cry and weep over the romanticism.

These journal prompts and creative writing ideas correlate with the movie, and instigate thought into what does the movie mean to you and how you interpret quotes and scenes. They are also designed to help you brainstorm what you think about love in your own life.

In the end, will you continue to think it’s the most romantic movie or will you change your mind and think it’s a hedonistic tale about two people going after only what they want without considering other’s feelings.
Whatever your viewpoint, you’re right!

Checking in (Men at work)

by Leigh Barker

A Lunch Break Read. Read time: ~ 1 hour – a lunch break…

It’s another mind-numbing day for the check-in staff at Global Airlines Lite, until the anarchist Rob discovers the suspect package.

Imagine being a fly-on-the-wall as the the day unfolds, and watch Rob set up Major Tom to defuse the bomb and save the day… well, at least that’s the plan.

The first episode in the Working Man series – let the madness begin!

Become a SUDOKU Master

by David Hastings

This book is the first of its kind for SUDOKU! It is a substantial gaming rethink!

First time ever you can play collaboratively, set-up challenges and share game logic and strategies; you can archive your game playing brilliance; going back and finding where you went wrong is now made easy; and much more.

Lots of illustrations and graphics.

Become a SUDOKU Master (BASM) is an enormously enjoyable, extensive and intensive analytical SUDOKU teaching guide and workbook. It is dedicated to fully disclosing not only new substantial game enhancement features but also exciting new methodologies.

The author clearly exposes every aspect of every methodology and strategy. Lively and detailed game nalysis, melded with lucid move-by-move dissection and graphic “follow-along” illustrations, will have you solving difficult challenges in no time.

BASM methodologies enable completion of unsuccessful games or tackling ones you were reticent to try.

Funny Monkey sing-a-long songs

by Marvin Monkey

Including the great re-written monkey fancying hits of Don’t you want me monkey?, What’s new Chimpanzee?, Hey Big Baboon!, and I like to hump monkeys (monkeys monkeys monkeys)

not for kids!

Surprise potatoes in the soldiers vegetable soup!

by Alan Mundy

A series of short poems derived from Chinese junk mail… Poorly translated Chinese recipes cannibalised to form the most insightful and thought provoking book of its kind ever written (presumably).

Every day I receive a lot of legitimate emails from customers and colleagues but lately I have started to receive some very strange emails from various internet based companies attempting to sell me all kinds of questionable products and services. During an unusually quiet morning whilst clearing out my junk folder I fell upon the subject header “Reverse Type 2-Diabetes with These Tips”. For some reason, perhaps because I was unusually quiet that morning, I read on: “Today: filets on them round with a wooden spoon, and pepper. Meanwhile, hard-boil three hours on the fish, tie the same seasonings, but let the slices of dried white mince is composed of potatoes, pepper and remove any grit or salad.” I was immediately enthralled by the instruction to “hard-boil three hours on the fish” and forwarded the email to my colleagues (and now co-writers of this book) pointing out some of the lines that caught my eye. Over the next few days and weeks, as I received more of these, we exchanged emails picking out lines from the text that were particularly odd, funny and in some cases quite beautiful. The first poem to arise from this was called “Banana Compensation”, a title lifted directly from the text. This initial poem sparked a flood of very strange poems being created on a daily basis and the rules were soon clear…

Way Over The Hill: More Hilarious Jokes & Quotes About Aging

by George Dorn

Wondering whether your doctor’s actually out of diapers yet? Giving some thought to measuring your age by laughter lines rather than birthdays? Remember when it was several rooms per computer, and not vice-versa? You may be Way Over The Hill…!

Still, it could be worse. At least you’ve got a great excuse to refuse those darned family picnics, and besides, as George Burns said, “Glad to be here? At my age, I’m glad to be anywhere.”

The thing is, when it comes to aging, there’s no time off for good behavior. So you might as well settle back with this excellent selection of humor and insight – collected by author George Dorn – and have some fun. Inside, you’ll find wit and wisdom on all manner of topics related to getting older, divided into convenient categories for your every whim. With over a thousand quotes and jokes, you’re in for a great time.

If you like Over The Hill, you’ll also love Great Jokes by Jim Cartwright, a hilarious book of jokes on all sorts of topics – and remember to pick up the other volumes in the fabulous Over The Hill series.

Funny Jokes for Kids! 365 Hilarious Jokes, Riddles, Tongue Twisters, Knock Knock Jokes, and much more!

by Jordan Tales

Hey kids, are you tired of listening to the same old boring jokes? If yes, then we have some new, good ones for you here! They are non-boring, original and we bet none of your friends have heard them yet (unless they get a copy of this book before you!)

Do you want to know which types of jokes this book has? Here we give you:

Q&A Jokes

Knock Knock Jokes

Animal Jokes

Holiday Jokes

Tongue Twisters


Word play jokes

School jokes

So clean up your floor kids, cuz you are going to be rolling on the floor Laughing Out Loud!!

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