Free humour Kindle books for 26 Dec 13

The Hunger But Mainly Death Games: A Parody

by Bratniss Everclean

Mockstrich season has begun. Welcome to “The Hunger But Mainly Death Games,” the hilarious Hunger Games parody, and the only book brave enough to suggest that Suzanne Collins’s epic trilogy was way more about death than food.

Or at least this is what Bratniss Everclean discovers, when she leaves the comforts of Slum 12, Pandumb’s garbage dump, to shortsightedly volunteer for a teenage death tournament. But she soon realizes there are fates worse than death…like weirdly having to date her fellow competitor, and lifelong stalker, Pita Malarkey. Okay, okay, it’s not worse than DEATH, but it’s still pretty annoying.

Still, with help from her agent Oofie Triptrip and her mentor, Hagridmitch, who’s pretty sure he can guide Bratniss to victory in the Tri-Wizard Cup, maybe Bratniss will somehow survive this book that she’s the narrator of.



Free Kindle Fire Educational Apps For Kids (Free Kindle Fire Apps That Don’t Suck)

by The App Bible

UNIQUE APP RANKING SYSTEM!

“I have gone through a number of books like this one, and most of them are pretty much the same. This is the one you wantâ?¦ Personally, I will check out any book this author writes about apps because, for some reason, maybe a bad case of OCD, he is obviously compelled to do the most thorough investigation into each and every aspect, good and bad of apps in a particular genre. My hat’s off to him, and he has my thanks for saving me a ton of time and grief.” – Linda Abbott (Reviewer)

Over 200 Pages of In-Depth Reviews, and Tips and Tricks to Help You Get The Most Out of Your Free Educational Kindle Fire Apps For Kids

Question: Why Do You Need This Book?

Answer: Because you have better things to do with your time than trudge through the Amazon App Store and test tons of apps until you find the best ones

Question: OK. But Why Do You Need To Buy THIS Book?

Answer: Because you need more than just a random list of “Top Kindle Fire Apps.” You also need:

  • To know which apps to download first
  • Tips and tricks for how to get the most out of the apps
  • How to find help if you’re having a problem with an app
  • An in-depth review describing what is good and what is bad about each app
  • Problem: Even if you have a list of the top free apps, how do you know which ones to install first?

    Solution: At the end of this book, all the apps are ranked from best to worst according to a

    UNIQUE RANKING SYSTEM FOUND ONLY IN MY BOOKS

    Question: How Else Is This Book Unique?

    Answer: In addition to its unique ranking system, it also offers in-depth reviews that provide the following:

  • A summary of what the app does
  • A summary of what is good and what is bad about each app
  • When available: The app developer’s contact information, website information, as well as links to pertinent articles about the app
  • Tips and tricks for many of the apps (how to get the most from the app)
  • A brief summary of the positive and negative reviews of the app on Amazon
  • Question: OKâ?¦But What Types Of Apps, Exactly, Does The Book Include?

    Answer: A great variety of educational appsâ?¦

  • Apps for toddlers
  • Apps for preschoolers
  • Apps for elementary schoolers, AND
  • Apps for high schoolers
  • In the following categories:

  • Art apps
  • Book apps
  • English apps
  • Language apps
  • Math apps
  • Music apps
  • Reference apps, AND
  • Science apps
  • A Note from the Author: My aspiration was to make this book the very best resource of its kind. To that end, I put a great deal of time and effort into researching and writing it. I really hope you’ll find it useful!

    PLEASE NOTE: This book is an abridged version of my magnum opus (nearly 800 pages long!): The Complete Free Kindle Fire Apps. (Also, some of the contents of this book may be found in one or another of my other books, too.) If you think you might be interested in more than just the best free Kindle Fire apps for kids, you might want to consider checking out my magnum opus first.



    Free Games for the Kindle Fire (Free Kindle Fire Apps That Don’t Suck)

    by The App Bible

    UNIQUE APP RANKING SYSTEM!

    “I have gone through a number of books like this one, and most of them are pretty much the same. This is the one you wantâ?¦ Personally, I will check out any book this author writes about apps because, for some reason, maybe a bad case of OCD, he is obviously compelled to do the most thorough investigation into each and every aspect, good and bad of apps in a particular genre. My hat’s off to him, and he has my thanks for saving me a ton of time and grief.” – Linda Abbott (Reviewer)

    Nearly 200 Pages of In-Depth Reviews, and Tips and Tricks to Get The Most Out of Your Free Kindle Fire Games

    Question: Why Do You Need This Book?

    Answer: Because you have better things to do with your time than trudge through the Amazon App Store and test tons of apps until you find the best ones

    Question: OK. But Why Do You Need To Buy THIS Book?

    Answer: Because you need more than just a random list of “Top Kindle Fire Apps.” You also need:

  • To know which apps to download first
  • Tips and tricks for how to get the most out of the apps
  • How to find help if you’re having a problem with an app
  • An in-depth review describing what is good and what is bad about each app
  • Problem: Even if you have a list of the top free apps, how do you know which ones to install first?

    Solution: At the end of this book, all the apps are ranked from best to worst according to a

    UNIQUE RANKING SYSTEM FOUND ONLY IN MY BOOKS

    Question: How Else Is This Book Unique?

    Answer: In addition to its unique ranking system, it also offers in-depth reviews that provide the following:

  • A summary of what the app does
  • A summary of what is good and what is bad about each app
  • When available: The app developer’s contact information, website information, as well as links to pertinent articles about the app
  • Tips and tricks for many of the apps (how to get the most from the app)
  • A brief summary of the positive and negative reviews of the app on Amazon
  • Question: OKâ?¦But What Types Of Apps, Exactly, Does The Book Include?

    Answer: Over fifty of the topâ?¦

  • Arcade game apps
  • Sports game apps
  • Strategy game apps, and more
  • A Note from the Author: My aspiration was to make this book the very best resource of its kind. To that end, I put a great deal of time and effort into researching and writing it. I really hope you’ll find it useful!

    PLEASE NOTE: This book is an abridged version of my magnum opus (nearly 800 pages long!): The Complete Free Kindle Fire Apps. (Also, some of the contents of this book may be found in one or another of my other books, too.) If you think you might be interested in more than just the best free Kindle Fire apps for kids, you might want to consider checking out my magnum opus first.



    Free Kindle Fire Word, Card, Logic, And Board Game Apps (Free Kindle Fire Apps That Don’t Suck)

    by The App Bible

    UNIQUE APP RANKING SYSTEM!

    “I have gone through a number of books like this one, and most of them are pretty much the same. This is the one you wantâ?¦ Personally, I will check out any book this author writes about apps because, for some reason, maybe a bad case of OCD, he is obviously compelled to do the most thorough investigation into each and every aspect, good and bad of apps in a particular genre. My hat’s off to him, and he has my thanks for saving me a ton of time and grief.” – Linda Abbott (Reviewer)

    Over 200 Pages of In-Depth Reviews, and Tips and Tricks to Help You Get The Most Out of Your Free Kindle Fire Word Game, Card Game, Logic Game, and Board Game Apps

    Question: Why Do You Need This Book?

    Answer: Because you have better things to do with your time than trudge through the Amazon App Store and test tons of apps until you find the best ones

    Question: OK. But Why Do You Need To Buy THIS Book?

    Answer: Because you need more than just a random list of “Top Kindle Fire Apps.” You also need:

  • To know which apps to download first
  • Tips and tricks for how to get the most out of the apps
  • How to find help if you’re having a problem with an app
  • An in-depth review describing what is good and what is bad about each app
  • Problem: Even if you have a list of the top free apps, how do you know which ones to install first?

    Solution: At the end of this book, all the apps are ranked from best to worst according to a

    UNIQUE RANKING SYSTEM FOUND ONLY IN MY BOOKS

    Question: How Else Is This Book Unique?

    Answer: In addition to its unique ranking system, it also offers in-depth reviews that provide the following:

  • A summary of what the app does
  • A summary of what is good and what is bad about each app
  • When available: The app developer’s contact information, website information, as well as links to pertinent articles about the app
  • Tips and tricks for many of the apps (how to get the most from the app)
  • A brief summary of the positive and negative reviews of the app on Amazon
  • Question: OKâ?¦But What Types Of Apps, Exactly, Does The Book Include?

    Answer: Over sixtyâ?¦

  • Word game apps
  • Card game apps
  • Mind game apps
  • Logic game apps, AND
  • Board game apps
  • A Note from the Author: My aspiration was to make this book the very best resource of its kind. To that end, I put a great deal of time and effort into researching and writing it. I really hope you’ll find it useful!

    PLEASE NOTE: This book is an abridged version of my magnum opus (nearly 800 pages long!): The Complete Free Kindle Fire Apps. (Also, some of the contents of this book may be found in one or another of my other books, too.) If you think you might be interested in more than just the best free Kindle Fire apps for kids, you might want to consider checking out my magnum opus first.



    Clash of Clans: Clash of Clans Game Guide – Tips, Tricks and Strategies

    by Mark Mulle

    Clash of Clans is a highly popular game. It is created by SupercellOy for iPhone, iPod and iPad. This game is a combat strategy game where you build your village and train a mixture of troops. The gameplay is in-depth and gives you complete control over your village with absolute freedom to create your perfect army. With of Clash of Clans, you can train dragons, build your village, use devastating spells and unlock the power of dark elixir.

    ”Clash of Clans: Clash of Clans Game Guide – Tips, Tricks and Strategies” offers you the best strategies to advance to the game, defeat your opponents, win trophies, get unlimited coins and become the best clan in the game.

    So hurry! Have a copy today and have the ultimate guide there is to playing Clash of Clans!



    The Octagon Technique and Other Life Lessons from College

    by Michael Rubin

    Call it a gift, or a curse, but Mike Rubin’s life plays out like a sitcom. This is a viscerally funny true story of Mike’s trials and tribulations as a pre-med college student. Mike’s uncanny tendency to end up in the most ridiculous situations and to just “go with it” enables even the most awkward or humiliating scenarios to play out hilariously. With the exception of using public toilets, Mike proves he is willing to try anything college has to offer… twice! From manipulating evil professors to brewing his own beer to becoming the leader of a secret society, Mike’s college misadventures will have you laughing out loud.



    GAS-BAG

    by Terri Douglas

    Not all women are created equal; some have the power of magic.
    If only it were possible to cast a spell for whatever you wanted, instant cooked meals, new shoes, chocolate cake, or revenge on your boss. This then is the wry tongue-in-cheek humorous tale of the modern-day witches of the GAS-BAG.
    For nearly twenty years the current members of GAS-BAG have waited, some more patiently than others, for the event of a new members coming of age and now finally their long wait is over and Aryana Flaxforth is in for the birthday surprise of her life. This is no boring W I, no jam and Jerusalem, nor a female masons society with odd handshakes, although to the uninitiated it might seem so. No this is the GAS-BAG where magic and miscast spells are more the order of the day.
    Will Aryana be worthy of the honour? Her mother Alison will go to almost any lengths to ensure that she is, and Alveda her grand-mother is certain Aryana is more than worthy and will be a powerful witch.
    The Grand Hag Lynn, leader of the GAS-BAG council, is hoping the Welcoming Ceremony will go off without a hitch as any failure at this important event will reflect badly on her.
    And then there’s Violet who covets Lynn’s high position and sees Aryana as a threat to her ambitions, so with the help of the disreputable Toadscum sisters stops at nothing to try and discredit the Flaxforths, and along with it Lynn.



    Twilight of the Star Vampires (Set of Books 1-3):A Parody of the Twilight Saga, Star Wars and Star Trek

    by Paula Sunsong

    What happens when Twilight Saga vampire Edward Cullen meets Darth Vader meets Vulcan Spock? That question is answered in this parody of the Twilight Saga, Star Wars and Star Trek. Will Edward Cullen survive a fight with the evil Emperor of the Dark Side? Will vampire Vulcan Spock win over Princess Leia?

    This is a New Adult Paranormal and Science Fiction Parody based on #1 Bestselling series

    Excerpts:

    Edward, Star Vampire:

    One of the Trade Federation tanks targeted the Queen’s group, and moved towards them.

    “There’s the Queen, get her,” snapped the Trade Federation tank commander.

    “Run, your highness,” said the Nabiscko General Panache seeing the tank veering towards them.

    Queen Alldolla tried to pick up her heavy velvet skirts and run. The tank sped up and gave chase. In moments it was almost upon the Queen’s entourage. The general and advisors scattered. The Queen tripped on her skirt.

    The tank bore down on her. It was only a few feet away.

    “Stop! You could hit the Nabiscko Queen. We are ordered to capture, not kill,” said the tank commander to the driver.

    “Sorry commander,” said the driver. “We can’t stop quickly.”

    “Get back!” yelled Edward. Just before the tank would have hit the Queen, Edward leaped in front of her. Shoving his arm out, he stopped the vehicle with one hand, crumpling in the tank’s side.

    Alldolla gasped, staring in disbelief at Edward, and at the damage he had done to the metal side of the tank.

    Excerpt: The Jetti Council and Manikin Stywalker

    “You cannot fear and be a Jetti knight,” said Yodama. “Fear leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, suffering leads to founding a new religion, which leads to fame and fortune as a TV evangelist, which leads to embarrassment in the press as they reveal your naughty, secret sex life.”

    “Sounds good to me,” said Manikin. “I’d like a naughty, secret sex life.”

    “Hmmm. Come Jetti Council members,” said Yodama gesturing. The Jetti council huddled together to decide Manikin’s fate. After a few moments of hushed discussion, they came to the conclusion that they too would like a naughty, secret sex life and that Manikin fit right in.

    “Train him, you will, Obegone,” said Yodama. “But if he turns out to be an evil Jetti, that makes a Death Star and wipes out a planet, we’ll blame you.”

    Excerpt: Spocko, Vampire Vullcan of the Vulcanturi:

    “Welcome Spocko to the Temple of Pure Logic,” said T’Pow. “Our ancestors cast out their animal passions on this very soil.”

    Spocko looked down, and imagined an orgy of writhing, naked, Vullcan bodies.

    “No, no, I mean gave up passionate emotions,” said T’Pow shaking her head. Her telepathy evidently was working well and she was reading Spocko’s mind. “The men always make that mistake.” T’Pow eyed Spocko evilly as one last image of a Vullcan orgy crossed his mind. “No I don’t look like that naked,” said T’Pow, “and I’m not that flexible.”

    The Vullcan priests smirked, and then quickly changed to an emotionless expression as T’Pow glared at them.

    “By casting out emotions, they saved our race from ourselves,” continued T’Pow. “They attained the ultimate of pure logic and the ecstasy of pure logic. Spocko, you have achieved much over the years and proven yourself exceptional. You have cleansed yourself of dirty emotions. You have proven yourself worthy to join us. Come. Receive the symbolic necklace of Pure Logic.”

    Excerpt: Vampires Anonymous:

    “We’re here for you,” said William. “Let’s close the Vampire Anonymous meeting, then meet at the spaceport to plan our strategy to find your daughter. Please, everyone stand and say the serenity prayer.”

    The circle of vampires stood and held hands. They chanted together.

    “Universe, grant me the serenity to not bite somebody’s head off, even if they deserve it, except to protect ourselves and others from harm, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

    Buy now to experience the epic adventure!



    101 Jokes For Kids: For 4-8 Year Olds

    by Amanda J Michaels

    Telling jokes to your friends is a great way to have fun, don’t you think so? You love telling jokes and this eBook will bring all sorts of jokes you like. You can have a good laugh after reading through the eBook, and even ask your friends to join you. This eBook is also great if you want to grow your collection of awesome jokes. With so many funny jokes in one place, you’ll surely find something “funny” for everyone. Remember, this eBook is filled with craziest jokes to make you laugh, so don’t be surprised when you find yourself rolling on the floor. What are you waiting for? Let’s not waste time and get started with loads of laughter, smiles and fun.

    Best Knock Knock Jokes
    Awesome Animal Jokes
    Funny Questions & Answers
    Hilarious Computer Jokes
    Body Jokes
    Business, Money and Holiday Humor
    Food Jokes
    Science and Space Jokes
    School Jokes
    Sports Jokes
    Just for Fun



    Minecraft: Game Guide Minecraft Structure Designs – Part 1

    by Mark Mulle

    Are you looking for inspiration on what awesome structures you can build on your Minecraft? Do you want a step-by-step guide that will instruct you on how to create impressive buildings on your game?

    â??’Game Guide Minecraft Structure Designs – Part 1” gives you the first set of incredible structures you can have on your game. Each of the structure has a detailed explanation and an accompanying screenshot that shows each of the steps needed to build it. So if you are just starting out building creatively in Minecraft you will be able to follow the procedure with ease and with no trouble. With this game guide you will be an expert Minecraft builder.

    Be prepared to build the following structures:

    Egyptian House Type #1

    Egyptian House Type #2

    Egyptian Workshop Type #1

    Egyptian Workshops Type #2

    Egyptian Workshops Type #3

    So have a copy of this guide and get creative on your Minecraft game.



    Minecraft House Ideas – Mini Build: Ramshackle Cottage

    by Just Steve

    JUST STEVE presents a brand new MINECRAFT HOUSE IDEAS Mini Book! In this guide, learn to build a Ramshackle Cottage in Minecraft, using fully detailed blueprints and 30 images detailing every step in building this fantastic house, as well as crafting recipes for every block you’ll need.



    Pennsylvania Wildlife Tails: A Game Warden’s Notebook

    by William Wasserman

    Book Description

    Pennsylvania Wildlife Tails is a fun way to learn about wild birds and animals. Wasserman, a state game warden for 32 years, has collected 48 of the most hilarious anecdotes he’s ever heard about wildlife and put them to pen. Each is illustrated by famed cartoon artist, Dana Twigg. This book is guaranteed to make you laugh.

    From the Publisher

    Having spent more than half his life working as a state game warden, Wasserman has learned one indisputable fact about animals: whenever you tell someone that a wild critter won’t behave (or misbehave for that matter) in a certain way, you’re bound to be made a fool.

    From the Author

    Our furred and feathered friends have been surprising me with their antics for more than three decades now, and I thought it high time to share some of these stories with other folks who love the outdoors. Herein you will find a collections of the most unusual, comical and amazing incidents I’ve ever heard on the subject of people and animals. Some will make you laugh, others may astonish youâ?¦but be assured, dear reader, every one is true!

    About the Author

    William Wasserman authored his first book, The Best of It’s a Wild Life, in 1999. He wrote a weekly outdoor newspaper column for 15 years , and has written numerous articles for Pennsylvania Game News, Fur-Fish-Game, Black Belt, International Game Warden, The Alberta Game Warden and other nationally published magazines. He lives in Greenville, South Carolina with his wife Marianne.

    Dana Twigg, a free-lance artist for the last 25 years, is also a full time art teacher. He specializes in cartoon illustration but also does caricatures, posters, and watercolor paintings.

    REVIEWS

    By Paul Beavin (Atlanta, GA USA)

    Some really funny and excellent stories of Bill and his friends’ encounters with the animal kingdom. Great illustrations, too. The tales show how connected we are to the critters in the wild—always amusing! Makes you wish you were out there with ’em—but not too close!

    By Denise Mitcheltree (Tamarack, Pennsylvania USA)

    Pennsylvania Wildlife Tails is a lighthearted book that highlights the wonders and unpredictability of working with wildlife. William Wasserman has a great knack for portraying wildlife antics and the illustrations are sure to bring a smile to your face. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud as I paged my way through the stories. It’s the perfect gift for any outdoor-loving person.

    A Customer Writes:

    I took “Pennsylvania Wildlife Tails” along with me on a 4-day camping trip with my son’s cub scout pack. Around the camp fire the first night we did some ghost stories, then I broke out “Tails” and read several stories to them. They loved it and clamored for more each night. “Tails” is a wonderful account of how funny and interesting wildlife can be and how silly the superior species can be.



    Coupon Rehab

    by A.M. Glover

    Melanie is an unconventional and witty housewife who suddenly finds out about couponing. She soon becomes addicted and everything in her life was all about couponing until one day her husband sends her to Coupon Rehab.Nobody wants to go there because they have heard that people are changed when they come back out.Somehow, that change seems to be scary.Who wants to change right? There she discovers other addicts and they all have to go through dealing with their obsessions and with each other. Through her funny thoughts and descriptions, she soon finds out that there is more to life than couponing.



    Me and My Manny

    by M.A. MacAfee

    To ease her loneliness, Judy Mason orders a wooden replica of her husband, Harry, a sailor aboard ship at sea. Instead of Harry’s facsimile, the anatomically incorrect manny turns out to be a caricature of him. No matter. Her girlfriends are not only envious that she has found a friend and potential business partner in the dummy; they also want to borrow him and pay for his company by the hour. But their husbands soon become suspicious, most of all Harry who, when he returns home from sea, is convinced that the dummy is out to take him over. Harry’s jealousy, his odd behavior, and strange goings on in their apartment building near Seattle, convinces Judy that he may be right. To put an end to Harry’s uncanny switch from man to manny, Judy resorts to extremes. As usual, the outcome of her efforts is a series of comical blunders with hilarious consequences. The idea that sex sells endures, and, as in Me and My Manny, so does making fun of it.



    …the Worst Punishment, Tom said Swiftly

    Tom Swifties are puns. Initially they parodied the writing style in Tom Swift adventure books, in which the way a character says something was always described in the dialogue tag.

    Here’s line from an actual Tom Swift book, Tom Swift and His Motor Cycle:

    “Mr. Damon,” said Tom quickly, “will you sell me that motor-cycle?”

    And here are a couple classic Tom Swifties:

    “Darn it! I’ve dropped my toothpaste,” Tom said crestfallen.

    “This must be an aerobics class,” Tom worked out.

    The author has collected over two hundred Tom Swifties in this funny little volume. Some are classic, some are new, and reference pop culture. Some are ribald, and some, are cryptic and will require thought.



    The Old Lady & The Budgie (The Tornbridge Chronicles)

    by Tornbridge

    In this instalment, Craig and Trevor housesit for the van der Biles, a pair of obnoxious dog fanciers who entrust our heroes with their prize winning Weimaraner whilst they attend a Lovejoy convention in Lowestoft.

    Trevor’s inadvertent blocking of the Biles’ toilet, however, leads to a major plumbing catastrophe and in order to pay for essential repairs to the Biles’ house, Trevor and Craig are forced to take on a gardening job for the glamorous Widow Mountbatter. It’s not long before our heroes learn a terrifying truth, that the Widow’s secret to eternal youth lies in the harvesting of pets’ souls. No pet is safe, especially not a 40kg pedigree Weimaraner.

    The Series

    The Tornbridge Chronicles are a series of novellas that chart Lord of Tornbridge, Craig Peel and his idiot companion, Trevor Boyle’s adventures from their birth at Tornbridge’s â??Bruce Lee’ Memorial Hospital in 1971 to their unlawful banishment in Tornbridge woods in 1998.

    At the age of eight, Craig Peel’s life is shattered when his parents are eaten by lions. Soon after, the family fortune mysteriously vanishes and he finds himself booted out of his exclusive boarding school, St Biffters. Thereafter, he strikes up a friendship with Tornbridge simpleton, Trevor Boyle. The unlikely pair become inseparable.

    Between 1985 and 1998 there were no less than 200 reported incidents involving the pair, ranging from alien abduction to infantilism and the theft of rare panda seaman from Tornbridge Zoo.

    100% buffoonery, guaranteed



    Date or Lose

    by Charlie Poise

    JEFF Brownfield is a twenty-nine-year-old community volunteer and a State University administrator with a master’s degree in political science. And he expected to be married long before now! Jeff is honest and sincere, yet, you guessed it, clueless about women.

    It’s October, 1995.

    The Homecoming game and dance are three weeks off. Jeff’s best friend, Murphy Robinson, offensive line coach for the State University Bulldogs, wagers tickets on the fifty yard line that Jeff will be dateless. Pride gets the better of Jeff and, although he’s not been on a date in six months, he agrees to buy Murphy a steak and lobster dinner if he doesn’t have a date — and pay for the tickets.

    Jeff worries for two days, then trolls a nightclub for a date but fails. He panics the following day and replies to the personals ads in the local newspaper.

    Time trudges on with Jeff failing to “get it” when women openly demonstrate an interest in him.

    Linda Hudson calls to recruit his help decorating the hall for the Homecoming dance. She tries to learn if he is dating anyone, suggesting lunch. Jeff figures she just wants more work out of him.

    And so the story goes.



    Cellblock Earth: Part Five

    by Randy Henson

    WARNING: FOR ADULTS ONLY! Cellblock Earth contains graphic violence and language and is not intended for young readers. It is a dark satire for adults and is not your typical Dystopian/Alien Invasion story.

    Earth has been turned into a maximum security prison. Alien races are sending their criminals to Earth and imprisoning them inside human bodies. A gang of alien convicts decide to attempt a prison break by breaking into Area 51 and stealing a spacecraft.



    Hidden Depths: Expect the Unexpected

    by Simon Williams

    Everyone in their family has someone who has done a few dodgy things. Perhaps not as many as Williams but that’s for you to judge.
    This is the story of a friendship that develops into the best kind of love. It’s a love that is based on mutual respect, humour and support. Through a series of humorous tales, it tells the story of how Williams, a loveable Northern rogue, battles against the odds (not always successfully) to find his way in life.
    Williams’ trials and tribulations will leave you with a warm feeling inside your heart. This is 2013’s answer to Love on the Dole.
    It’s a must read that you will not be able to put down and when you’ve read it you will be waiting for its sequel.



    Meeting the New Neighbor

    by Leonard Stegmann

    Sometimes having a yappy little dog move in next door is the worst thing in the world. But not always. (Humor/880 words)



    Sniffing Out Stink Ape

    by Fletcher Best

    “Five stars!!! From the warped mind of author Fletcher Best, Sniffing Out Stink Ape will grab hold of you like a rabid alligator and not let you go until you’re scarred for life!” – Some Guy The Author Paid To Give A Rave Review

    Something stinks in the swamplands surrounding Florida’s Lake Okeechobee, and it’s not just swamp gas. For decades there have been reports of a large, foul-smelling ape-like creature that roams the wetlands and occasionally wanders into populated areas. Documentary film maker and self-styled cryptozoologist Lance Dumass and his intrepid cameraman Albert set out for the backwaters of Florida to find proof of the existence of the legendary stink ape.

    Assisting them in their quest is Chief Osceola, the enigmatic owner and proprietor of Chief Osceola’s Swamp Buggy Tours. But the Chief has as many secrets of his own as the swamp holds. Can Lance and Albert really trust him to help them find the stink ape, or is he just a charlatan milking them for money?

    Join Lance and Albert as they flee voracious mosquitoes, gird their loins against a penis-biting lizard, dodge the sexual advances of a pot-brownie-baking grannie, and view the wonder of the pythalligar (think the swamp version of a turducken)!

    Rated PG-13 for profanity, sexual situations, drug references, and a penis-biting tegu lizard.



    Virtuoso Blackjack

    by Christopher Ross

    If you walk into a casino and sit down to the blackjack table, you have a house edge of anywhere from 0.5-15% depending on how you play your cards over the long term. Perfect basic strategy brings the edge to around 0.5%, and if you count cards; you can get the edge. But a 1% edge is small in comparison to some of the occasional edges you can get if you know what you are doing. 10% edges are possible.

    How do you keep finding these edges to make a big hit at the casino?

    You have to become a Virtuoso!



    The Wild Horse

    by Michael Lawver

    A slave from 1860 reflects on his time working at The Pony Express through a bored stay-at-home father’s body in 2013.



    The Zombie Times- December Report

    by Richard Parise

    The Zombie Times is a newspaper report written by Zombies for all Zombies in the New England area with the exception of Vermont, whose charter refuses to acknowledge their presence.



    Bad Ass Guide To Christmas

    by Kevin Michael

    Christmas is a time when families come together in perfect harmony…except when they don’t. Between nosy parents, alcoholic in-laws, neighbors that put up a light display that can be seen from space, and pretending you’re on a diet when you’re busy eating every sweet in sight, sometimes the holiday are an all out war for survival. Here’s your guide to get through it all.

    Note: This is a humorous short that pulls no punches.

    Also check out “Kevin Michael 30 Book Boxed Set”



    Tippy The Cripple: Bedtime stories for potentially delinquent children, mildly challenged adults, with a sprinkling of legal terminology for all and sundry.

    by James Rasmussiensteiner

    Humor that sneaks up on you (if you are smart and wise). Warm lighthearted with gentle attempts at wisdom. Humor on different levels that might make some of you squirt milk out of your nose so be forewarned. Humor without any bad words. Happy endings (except for those who die). Crimes stopped by citizens and police. Gripping intrigue as loyal Americans work to thwart an Islamic terrorist (with the help of the military and a real general watching from a safe distance). Many different flavors of doughnuts. Several wrinkly babies (after proper marriage, of course). Marriage counseling. And much much more. We sincerely hope that this is not the last book you read. With all due respect if this book does not make you laugh it may be a sign that you are a bad person and you should get “checked out.”



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