Free humour Kindle books for 14 Aug 14

Xander Barns Series (Book #1-3)

by Sarah Tork

Author’s note ‘This book is a Dark Satire. It contains coarse language and includes violent and sexual scenes that may be offending. Recommended for ages 18+’

Twenty two year old, university drop out, Marisa Gellys’ relaxed lifestyle took a turn for the worse when she arrived early at Kyle Matthews’ annual Halloween Bash to find her boyfriend making out with another girl. Heartbroken, she sets off to a brand new city to get away from her family who thinks she’s made the biggest mistake of her life by breaking up with Ben.

Months later, Marisa’s on her way back to her hometown for her dad’s fiftieth birthday party. The weekend was supposed to go quick and easy, but thanks to a dreamy late night customer she’d dealt with a week before, a certain blue eyed devil, the party would have to take a back seat.

Twenty nine year old hotel heir, Xander Barns had his own plans for this weekend and whether Marisa wanted to or not, she was about to become a huge part of it.

But that’s not all of it, because this Hotelier has another little secret, one that will leave Marisa disturbed.

The course of this weekend quickly becomes the catalyst to the wildest, craziest, jaw droopingly, shocking year of Marisa’s life.

Welcome to the ride.

This year will be nothing like last year.

This is not a standalone novel. Book 1, Book 2, and Book 3 of the Xander Barns Series.

1) Always Wanted

2) Wanted Always

3) Calling Forever



Restaurant Reality – A Server’s Perspective: A Satirical and Candid Look into Serving in Restaurants

by Evan Marcus

Dealing with your server can be a fun, friendly experience, or it can be a nightmare. Restaurant Reality: A Server’s Perspective breaks down everything a customer should know when they eat out, from reading the menu to sending food back to how much to tip, all told in a humorous manner. Specific stories are revealed to illustrate one of the main points of this book, which is that people themselves make serving one of the best and most terrible jobs in existence.

Based on the author’s own experiences as a server, this book runs the entire gamut of everything you’ll see and hear in a restaurant – as well as what you won’t see or hear but wish you did. You’ll learn how stressful, irritating and at times disgusting being a server can be, all the while enjoying the honesty and simplicity with which the author writes.

This book is brutally open and honest, and nothing is held back. Prepare to smile, laugh and have your stomach churn as you find out how servers really see you and what truly happens when they disappear into the kitchen after you’ve been rude with them.

Bon appétit!



Angry Rants From The Bottle

by Sheldon R. Hosein

A humorous no-holds-barred compilation of social commentary articles and essays. From love and religion, to strippers and steroids, no subject is off limits, and no one’s safe from the unforgiving scrutiny of this hard drinking, bar-hopping philosopher. So come on in, grab a barstool, have a drink and prepare yourself for the harsh truth. If you find any of the material offensive â?¦ it’s probably because he’s talking about you. You’ve been warned.



Savvy Stories: Funny Things I Learned From My Daughter

by Dan Alatorre

Hilarious and heartwarming.

Bestselling author and humorist Dan Alatorre’s brings us into his living room for funny and delightful stories about the real meaning of fatherhood and parenting. “Savvy” is the nickname of his daughter, and “Savvy Stories” is a fun filled romp through the early years of having a baby. These stories will have you chuckling at the universal message of bringing up baby – and watching her take over the house! Equal parts funny and touching, Savvy Stories shows you why all kids are special. After all, “the beauty of children is in the magic they see everywhere; the beauty of parenthood is seeing it with them.” Not a bumbling TV sitcom stooge, the Dad in this book is a smart, kind, loving man who is constantly amazed at his daughter, something every dad should be (but, sadly, many are not).

You will laugh and cry, sometimes on the same page, and you will see yourself 100 times over in this book. Savvy Stories has been acclaimed as required reading for parents, for its hilarious and heartwarming insights. Its lessons are deep and apply to every family, everywhere, because what makes Savvy special is what makes all children special. We just have to look.

“5 STARS! A MUST READ!

“5 stars, Excellent book! “Savvy Stories” should be on everyone’s “must read” list.”

Susan B., Columbus, Ohio

Enjoy this look at childhood’s lost, magical moments, viewed through the heart of a father. Crawling, walking, play dates, hopscotch, hibiscuses, potty training, princess dresses, gymnastics classes… and Baby Dolphins – The whole wide world of her questions and his answers. This book will have you falling in love with your children all over again.



THE COMEDIAN BIBLE: comedy jokes, marketing strategy, marketing strategies, stand up comedians, stand up comedian, tops comedians, jokes of the day

by JOE R. TORRE

Stand-up Comedian

The journey to become a Stand-up Comedian is not always easy, his jokes have to be good, he must be able to keep his audience else he can get laughed at instead! Imagine being heckled by your audience! Discover how to develop a style of comedy and the different style of jokes you can practice with. Getting your comedic voice is one of the key tools in becoming a stand-up comedian. Discover the technique involved in writing stand up jokes. Find out how to polish your stand up routines. Learn how to market yourself and to book gigs. An area that is so important and often overlooked is how you should dress.  If you are interested in this career then you will be happy to discover the many tips and advice for stand-up comedians.



Hollywood Brings World Peace

by Desmond Shepherd

Francis Corolla has been put in charge of an impossible assignment. He has to find a way to make world peace.

He never expects to find the solution. When he does, it comes from the most unlikely source: Hollywood.
This eBook also contains the bonus story: A Growing Problem.



How I Met My Future Robot Self: You Choose What Happens in this Wild Time-Travel Adventure Story!

by Lucas Hosby

You get to choose your own fate in this interactive eBook. Who knows, the choices you make just might change everything!

The adventure begins when your parents leave town for the weekend. When you come home from school, you find a funny looking robot who tells you he is you, but from the future! You’re so shocked you don’t know what to believe. He wants to take you to another time period, but it all just seems so sudden, and so crazy. How you react from here will change the course of your life. Choose wisely.

This will be a wild, funny, wacky adventure that you won’t be forgetting any time soon. You may just find yourself lost in space, fighting with aliens, or landing on a planet ruled by children. You can travel to the future or get lost for eternity inside a black hole. The possibilities are endless!

What are you waiting for? Get started on your adventure today and find out if this strange robot really is you from the future.



Enderman Invade the Diamond Vault (Part 1) – A Minecraft Novel

by Minecraft Guide Books

Within this pages you will find a story filled with adventure, shock, twists, and excitement.

Follow the main character Elie, a Prince of the Enderman empire as he pursues his diamond obsession….

The Enderman are a humble mob who live peacefully in the End. One day, their Prince Elie discovers he has a craving for shiny diamonds. His desire haunts him night after night.

See what happens when an Enderman Prince has a dangerous obsession in the Overworld….



Knock Knock Jokes for Kids: Hilarious Children’s Knock Knock Jokes!

by Books for Kids

Hilarious Children’s Knock Knock Jokes!

Get laughing with hilarious knock, knock jokes today! You are guaranteed to be rolling on the floor with these rib tickling jokes! Get started now!



100+ Funny British Jokes: 100% Hilarious Queen-Approved Jokes

by The LOL Bros

$2.99 FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY!

This book includes 101+ OF THE FUNNIEST JOKES YOU’LL EVER READ!

THE QUEEN WOULD SPILL HER BLOODY TEA OVER THESE FUNNY JOKES!

Use these hilarious jokes to make yourself laugh, impress your friends & family, or even pick up hot chicks.

However you plan to use these jokes, one thing is for sure…

This book will definitely make you LOL!

Here’s a new batch of hilarious jokes to kick off 2014. Use these new jokes to impress your friends & family, make people laugh, and just have a good ol’ time!

Scientists have used 10+ years of research to put together the formula for creating the world’s funniest jokes. That top-secret formula was used to create the jokes in this book.

Have a good day & a good laugh with this joke book!

WARNING: Read this book at your own risk! These jokes are DANGEROUSLY FUNNY!



The Crappiest Author

by WTF Man

Borges Svelt set a goal; a goal that he has no hope of achieving: writing 100,000 words in one day. At first he takes baby steps, averaging 25,000 words per day before encountering his first obstacle. With a little ingenuity, can the eccentric author conquer his dream? Or is he totally out of his league?

Approximately 5,400 words in all.

EXCERPT FROM THE CRAPPIEST AUTHOR

Borges Svelt wasn’t about to hit the New York Times’ bestseller list anytime soon. Oh no! He was one of those dreadful self-published authors (eek!), shunned by the industry and despised by his traditionally published counterparts. Like them, he was eccentric in many ways, from his tacky, plaid socks that doubled as hand warmers to naming every member of The Brady Bunch whenever he reached a mental roadblock. While some writers prefer to stand while they write or sail the seven seas while banging away on their trusty, antique typewriters, Borges felt right at home on his shiny, porcelain throne. Of course, he didn’t mount the toilet with all of his clothes on. Heavens no! That would suggest that he was the least bit sane. On the contrary, he did not wear a shred of clothing. He was the pantless author, ready for anything that came rumbling through his feeble brainâ?¦or lower intestine.



Far Out: a science friction novel

by Tom Andrews

When computer repair man Dee Johnsson suddenly finds himself stranded on a planet on the other side of the galaxy, a chain of events is set in motion that will change his life forever! Join Dee, the Vradaxian Transfer Investigation Team, Yvla, Burf, Quolthanaquol, Trevor and Jethodar for an exciting romp through space that gives all that dull old sci-fi that you’ve been reading a refreshing kick in the ass. Far Out, man!



HOW TO STRATEGIZE FOR GAMES: game play, play game, play games, games play, games download, games to download, play games

by ADAM WEST

Strategy Games

Strategy games, do you play them, or are you an avid fan, well this book is for you.  You will learn about the strategy game basics and quick glimpse in the wonderful world of strategy game.  Educate yourself about campaigns and what every strategy game player should know.  Educate yourself about campaigns and what every player should know.  Campaign aspects and what characterize one, discover them in this book.  Tutorials, do you know how to use them.  Well read on, and learn how they will help you to have the best strategy game experience.  Know the resources and how to use them to your advantage.  Patterns will also be explored in this book as well as the consequences involved.  Colonies and objectives is another aspect that will make the game experience better.  Find out why objectives and colonies vary for every strategy game. Minions, wonder what that is, you definitely will find out by turning the page and learn about their role in strategy game. Need to know the spice and thrill in every strategy game, well read on.  Minions, combats and forces work together learn how. Ever been a hero in a strategy game, no! Discover how and what it takes to be one.  This book is a must read for all strategy games lovers. 



The Prince and the PMS: The PMS Survival Manual

by Brian Yui

Help your man learn more about what you are experiencing with PMS! Are you a guy and just don’t understand what your girlfriend is going through with PMS? On the flip side to Princess and the PMS, there’s an entire PMS Survivor’s Manual for men, The Prince and the PMS. In it, they’ll find everything they need to know about your PMS so they can be your hormone hero. Teach your man how to properly handle your PMS!

The men’s version of the book provides some much-needed advice about how to live with and love premenstrual women. Secondhand PMS can put a stranglehold on relationships with mothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends and coworkers. The Prince and the PMS gives men the tools they need to walk an estrogen-slick tightrope once a month, without losing their minds, tempers or sense of humor.

Learn:

– Positive self-talk

– How stress affects PMS (and how to minimize it!)

– Which herbal remedies really work and for what symptoms

– The facts about PMS and Perimenopause

– How exercise fights pain

– About PMDD, PMM and every other acronym that makes our lives miserable

– How to make relationships healthier with and without PMS



Popular Songs Word Search 150 Puzzles: Book 7: Authored by Kalman Toth M.A. M.PHIL.

by Kalman Toth M.A. M.PHIL.

This book contains 17×17 popular songs word search puzzles designed to improve your intelligence quotient (IQ). Songs performed by Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, The Beatles, Dolly Parton, Madonna, The Beach Boys and many more artists & bands. You cannot change your IQ; it is a measure of the intelligence you already have. However, the IQ you use on a daily basis – your effective IQ – can be increased. Doing so can help you be more successful in your personal relationships, as it increases your ability to solve and overcome problems. Additionally, you will find that as you increase your effective IQ, you can become more successful on your job as you strive to gain professional success. Each music themed puzzle has 20 titles for search. The puzzles are hard in difficulty.

This book contains 150 word search puzzles, with one puzzle on each page. The method for solving each puzzle should be familiar to you if you have worked word search puzzles before. However, the format is unique. Each puzzle has 20 words listed in a table. The word search puzzle is above the list of words in a box of letter squares seventeen letters by seventeen letters. The solutions can be found vertically, horizontally, or diagonally, either forward or in reverse order.

How to Solve Word Search Puzzles

In order to achieve success at any task, one needs to know the best way to accomplish the goal of that task. With word search puzzle solving, the goal, of course, is to solve the puzzle. To do so, there are a number of methods one can use. They are as follows:

– Take a Quick Look

Glance at the puzzle and mark the ones you see immediately first.

– Develop a Strategy

As you work your word search puzzle, a strategy will help you to work faster and more efficiently

1) Check beginning letters.

One successful strategy is to look for the beginning letter of the word for which you are searching. Then look at the box immediately to the left and right, above and below, and in both diagonal directions for the remaining letters. At this point, you should see the complete word.

2) Work each row in one direction.

For example, work all the rows across first. Then choose another direction, maybe backwards across. Continue until the puzzle is completed.

3) Work the list.

Some word search puzzle solvers simply work down the list, looking for each word. Of course, you want to go ahead and mark any other words you see.

– Work in sections.

Whichever method of solution you choose, work your word search puzzle in sections. You don’t want to repeatedly do the same area of your puzzle.

– Take a break.

If you get stuck, stop and come back to the puzzle later.

– Work cooperatively.

You can work a puzzle as a cooperative effort. Working with someone else can be fun and make puzzle solving easier.

– Relax.

Don’t become frustrated. Each consecutive puzzle should get easier. Go with the flow.

– Have fun!

Puzzle solving is supposed to be an enjoyable activity. Remember to make it one.

What Are the Benefits of Word Search Puzzles?

Working word search puzzles provides many benefits for our minds.

– As mentioned previously, we can actually increase our effective IQ.

– Also, word search puzzles provide our minds with exercise for stimulation and maintenance.

– In addition, puzzles are good for your mind’s cognitive (thinking and memory) development.

– These puzzles provide great opportunity improve the brain’s overall health and longevity; there is less memory loss at advanced age, as well as delayed onset and reduced risk of conditions such as Alzheimer’s disease.

– Scientific studies have found that our brains actually reorganize in response to new challenges; a word search puzzle provides such a challenge.

Working word search puzzles improves our thinking skills.

– Working word search puzzles enhances your ability to solve problems.

– Word search puzzles improve our focus and attention, because finding solutions requires a lack of distr



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