Free humour Kindle books for 18 Aug 14

Camp, Kill, Move – Tactical Assault Operations: A Step-By-Step Guide to Superior Call of Duty Gameplay

by Master Sargent Lieutenant Dan

Are you always thinking about how you can take your Call of Duty Performance to the next level? If you’re someone who wants to increase their Kills, Accuracy, Win loss ratio and Kill Death Ratio in as little as 1 game with instant results, then you’re about to discover a powerful, effective, and dominating program designed to do just that! “Camp, Kill, Move: Tactical Assault Operations” goes through a step by step guide to increase KD Ratio, Win/Loss Ratio, Accuracy and Fun. This book will show you each step with examples so you have a tactical plan to increase your KD Ratio in as little as 1 game.

Inside this book you’ll get;

– Detailed Step by step instructions

– Detailed gameplay tips

– Step by step tips for success

– Blog Access

– Advice from my success

– Tips for improved COD Performance

– Access to Videos

If you are sick and tired of training for countless hours without seeing results and want to improve your COD performance by extremely enhancing your ENTIRE GAMEPLAY STYLE, this book is for you! It will save you time and you’ll learn the strategies from someone who has already done it, so you don’t waste your time with ineffective programs! Master Sargent Lieutenant Dan built this comprehensive guide to give you a complete process you can follow to increase your KD Ratio and become a Ultimate Call of Duty Player.



How To Play The Lottery

by Skyler Ace

Lotteries have been around forever, dating all the way back to the 16th century. Since that time many people have participated in all types of lotteries, worldwide. The average lottery player plays the lottery purely on luck without any set strategy. While it is true the lottery is based somewhat on luck, there are also many different strategies you can use to increase your odds of winning the lottery.

There are many types of lottery games to consider, many people stick to their local or national lottery. There are many different types of lotteries to choose from, from daily drawings, to scratch off games, to quick picks. Which is the best?

When it actually comes to playing the lottery most people are just just purely playing on luck without any type of actual strategy. We cover a few lottery strategies that you can start using today.

Playing the lottery can be fun, winning the lottery is even better. Nobody can guarantee you’ll win the lotto, but knowing what you are doing can greatly increase your odds.



Zero Shades of Grey: A Christian Guide to Acceptable Sex

A guide for Christians offering instruction on sexual positions, ideas, fantasies and practices. Satire.



101 Halloween Jokes!: Halloween Jokes, Comedy, and Humor (Funny & Hilarious Halloween Joke Books)

by LOL Funny Jokes Club

The Funniest Halloween Jokes in the World!

Did you know that…

Laughing can have positive physical and mental effects on the body. Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You’ll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today!

Amazon Prime Members can borrow this book for FREE!

  • 101 funny Halloween jokes
  • Hilarious halloween jokes and humor
  • Hours of funny jokes and entertainment

With this MASSIVE collection of funny halloween jokes you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny jokes, insults, and comedy is perfect for the Halloween season. You and your friends will laugh for hours at this funny joke book.

Uses for funny jokes…

  • Can aid in story-telling
  • Great for conversation starters
  • Improves conversation and social skills
  • Can make others laugh, smile, and be more playful
  • Can lighten tense moods and create rapport with others

Are you looking for funny and hilarious Halloween jokes?

Q: What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?

A: Run!

LOL

Q: What does a vampire take for a cold?

A: Coffin syrup!

HAHA

Q: What monster plays the most April Fools jokes on others?

A: Prankenstein!

LOL

This Hilarious Joke Book has 101 Funny Jokes..

  • Jokes about witches
  • Jokes about monsters
  • Jokes about vampires
  • Jokes about ghouls and ghosts
  • Funny Halloween puns, one-liners, and more!

LOL Funny Jokes Club

The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We’ll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor. Whether it’s funny and hilarious one-liners, dirty adult jokes, or laugh-out-loud rib tickling knee slappers, the LOL Funny Jokes Club does it all!

Scroll up and click “buy” to start laughing now!

If for any reason you are unsatisfied, there is a 100% money back guarantee!

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Destiny Guardian Guide: Quick Start and Leveling Guide for Destiny

by PureNsanitee

Why pay $18 – $25 for a guide that was written months ago, or scour the 1,000’s of hours of Destiny gameplay footage and commentary for the latest and greatest information when you can get all of that information for $0.99? If you’re like me the hours of time to dig out all the pertinent information or the hours of time you will save leveling is well worth $0.99.

I’ve compiled a list of not just some of the basics, but how to utilize the basics to your advantage to save you time and effort after the release. I discuss character creation, gear, the Cryptarch, and more. I’ve also included some general PvP tips along with Destiny specific PvP elements. I’m also going to be constantly updating this ebook with information post-release as well so none of the data is going to be stale.



Healthy Gamer Lifestyle: Be your Game Avatar in Life

by Lionel Thomas

Are you gaming with low energy… always needing a ‘pick me up’ with energy drinks, wake up wrecked, sore back, eyes and hands from over use, or other issues due to extended gaming sessions? Then you need to read the “Healthy Gamer Lifestyle: Be your Game Avatar in Life”. This book goes into detail on how to create a solid base of energy, prevent issues from extended gaming sessions, creating a mind-set for success and is just awesome for any Gamer wanting to create a Healthy Gaming Lifestyle.

Contains:

– 1 Page about Vitality For Gamers

– 70 pages of Healthy Gamer Lifestyle…

– 7 Awesome Healthy Gamer Quick Guides

About the Author:

My name is Lionel Thomas; I am a Gameaholic and have been a computer Gamer for over 30 years. For the last 12 years I worked in the Computer Games industry, starting as a web programmer moving up to Games Producer, working on Xbox and PC titles.

It was Awesome! Working with games 40 hours a week, and then gaming at home for up to 60 hours a week, yes it is possible!

Over the years I ate anything, gained weight, had back problems, my health was poor and energy levels were like a roller-coaster (Moody as well). Most of this was oblivious to me, as I played out my life virtually with Role-Playing Games, First Person Shooters, Real-Time Strategies, MMORPG and much moreâ?¦ all that mattered was having my computer hardware was working and a game to play. Reality for me was to work, to make money, to buy games and play them.

“If I could have been hooked up to a computer and play games 24/7, I would.”

One day I pulled a back muscle; as I lay on my couch, I felt like an invalid and said to myself, “I need change”. Soon after I meet my sweetheart; a very inspirational lady, whose friends made some very direct comments about my appearance. I knew I was unhealthy and overweight, yet this didn’t change anything, so I needed to stop procrastinating and Take Action!

Starting with only a few habits within 1 month I lost 5 kg (11pounds), I was excited and within 8 months I lost 20kg (44 pounds), improved my health, energy levels, sick a lot less, regular and just feel great.

I play less virtually; yet play more in reality, as I am creating myself as my Game Avatar in Life. Part of this has been to create “Vitality For Gamers”; a cause to give computer Gamers increased reflexes, endurance and longevity for better gaming. In essence creating a â??Healthier Gamer Lifestyle’ and changing the gamer stereotype.

The “Vitality Challenge” details the habits I created that made me realise that I could be my Gaming Avatar in Life. Since then, my Gaming and Non-gaming life have merged where anything is possible from here on in.

“Be your Game Avatar in Life.”

In This Book:

Birth of Vitality For Gamers

1. Gamer Risk

1.1 Fitness

1.2 Muscle and Joint Issues

1.3 Obesity

1.4 Eye Strain

1.5 Gameaholism

1.5.1 Social Balance

1.6 Kid Gamers

2. Healthy Gamer

2.1 Habit Creation

2.2 Gamer Nutrition

2.2.1 Fat Can Make You Dumb

2.2.2 Sugar Weighs You Down

2.2.3 Healthy Gamers Nutrition Habits

2.2.4 Body Cycle

2.3 Avatar Health

2.4 Gamer Rage Reduction

2.5 Weight Loss

2.6 Kid Gamers

3. Vitality Challenge

3.1 Breakfast

3.1.1 Fruit for Breakfast

3.1.2 Foods to avoid

3.2 Gamer Snacks

3.2.1 Healthy Snack Examples

3.3 Meals

3.3.1 Benefits of Healthy Eating

3.3.2 Eat Less Red Meat

3.3.3 Eat Fish (Omega 3 and health benefits)

3.4 Fitness

3.4.1 Pre-game Preparations

3.4.2 Exercises and Stretches during Games

3.5 Drink

3.6 Posture

3.7 Oxygen

3.8 Eye Sight

3.8.1 Eye Breaks

3.8.2 Eye Exercises

3.9 Gamer Brain

4. Become a Professional Gamer

5. Quick Guides

5.1 Vitality Challenge

5.1.1 Active Challenge

5.2 Top 12 Healthy Gamer Tips

5.3 Weight Loss

6. References



Maniacal Musings of a Mediocre Mind

These are some jokes I wrote to entertain my therapist. With inspiration from Mitch Hedberg, Steven Wright, and psychosis I give you my thoughts unfiltered; perfect to poison your mind with. Sometimes all you need to get through the day is a funny and creative thought that won’t leave you alone until it’s scribbled on your bathroom mirror with pink lipstick.



Minecraft: 2 in 1 Minecraft Game Guide Episode 5

by MINA GARRAH

Sales Pitch

There is a lot of buzz around the indie game Minecraft in the gaming world these days. It has become such extraordinarily famous that creators have made a temporary free-to-play version to prevent excessive load on their servers. Minecraft is an indie sandbox game that was originally created by a Swedish programmer. It is a unique game that is difficult to classify. Its pedigree consists of world building of Fortress, dungeon crawling of Rogue and directionless creativeness of LEGO.

Minecraft is not an easy-to-learn game and hence, it is impossible to understand the tricks and traits of the game on your own. In order to resolve this state of difficulty, here is the guide to help you understand the nick-knacks of the game and survive through your first night with monsters.

Over the years, people have invented ways of keeping themselves busy-away from the usual activities aimed generating income to earn a living. For kids, something has to be available to keep them away from mischief. Well, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy as they say. That is why humans always seek some time off work to relax their minds and put aside their usual day to day business. It is in this spirit that many games have been invented, not only for kids who need a little pleasure away from school, but for adults as well.

One of the games that has been coined is the Minecraft. Originally created by a Swedish programmer known as Markus Notch Person, this game was later developed by Mojang who also published it. The first release of the PC was on May the 17th of 2009, which came in an alpha development version. The full release was published on November 18th 2011, after a series of gradual updates. The Android version was released earlier on in October 7th, while the iOS version came in November 17th. The game was released on May 9th 2012 on Xbox 360 as an Xbox Live Arcade game that was co-developed by 4J studios.

Well, all these versions get up-dated periodically.

The game has received five awards from the 2011 Game Development Conference and awarded the Innovation Award. It also got the Best Downloadable Game Award and the Best Debut Game Award from Game Development Choice Awards. Other achievements include hen considering a game for both the kids and adults, Minecraft may just be one among the choices. After having the information about it, it will be easier to make informed decision.



Planet Thanet There and Back Again (A Gobshite’s Tale): Fifty Shames of Margate

by T. Ruth Teller

“Margate’s shit” was the opening dulcet tones of a local young lady during the filming of the Mary Portas High Street Documentary in Margate. Even South Eastern Trains’ offer of 500 free tickets failed to attract 500 visitors to Margate.

Blackpool attracts over 12 million visitors per year, Brighton attracts over 8 million visitors per year, and Margate (well, the Turner Centre) attracts 500,000 visitors per year.



How to Survive an Alien Abduction

by Iam Funee

This is a work of humor. An estimated ten million people claim to be “abductees.” They come from all walks of life, from all over the world. Most people who are abducted don’t want anyone to know. They fear they will be ridiculed by the media, friends, family members, and coworkers. So, if people don’t want anyone to know; how do we know that there are millions of abductees?

This booklet answers that question as well as covering the history of modern abductions with tips on how to avoid being an abductee yourself.

Although this is a work of humor, the history is real as are your chances of becoming one of the ten million.



Make My Day: Funniest Dirty Jokes

by Jack Oriole

Make My Day – Funniest Dirty Jokes book contains tasteless “politically incorrect” dark, offensive, & twisted humor. Absolutely NOTHING & NOBODY is sacred, taboo, or beyond being joked about.



Morbid Stories Volume 1: Sick Stories for Sick Minds

by Tarl Warwick

Morbid Stories is a continuing collection of short works designed to be the most powerful splatterpunk experience available within the general horror genre. Written in grotesque and almost excessive detail, the content is at once shocking and alarming, with a blasphemous, insane edge normally not found within milder forms of shock-horror works. Not completely a mindless endeavor, these stories are also a satire of modern culture and all those who dwell within it, with protagonists chosen deliberately for a dark, warped, humor that then degrades them and shows their true inner evil.

Started in the year 2008, Morbid Stories is a spin-off of a former work along similar lines, which itself is pending release, and with a virtually inexhaustible supply of situational splatterpunk topics, the series may well be considered as endless at it is mindlessly gorey.

Morbid Stories is to the literary horror genre what B movie slasher flicks were to the general cinema experience of the dark and spooky preceding that period of cult classics- a grueling experience in madness and terror, possibly unmatched in its disgusting content.

The author would like to kindly remind the reader that, of course, the content is fictional, satirical, deliberately mindless, and that the author does not condone or encourage any dangerous, violent, or illegal act present in these stories; as a work of fiction, they are meant only to be enjoyed for what they are- violent splatterpunk.



Romeo and Juliet and America’s Team: A Story of Love and Football

by Paul Combs

Weddings can be stressful. Melding families can be tricky. When the bride is from Dallas, the groom from Pittsburgh and the wedding the day before the Cowboys and Steelers meet in Super Bowl XIII…all bets are off.



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