Free humour Kindle books for 27 Aug 14

I Lie You So Much: Lies Husbands Must Tell Their Wives

by Iam Funee

This is a work of humor. WARNING! WARNING! DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE LET YOUR WIFE READ THIS BOOKLET!!

Do we (men) lie to our wives? Yes. We have to for survival reasons. Okay, the reality is your wife is probably going to read this. At least she will have a better understanding as to why we lie and how it is for her ultimate benefit. If you are a wife reading this, stop rolling your eyes. You know I wouldn’t lie to YOU.

Why do people lie in general? The simple answer is the lie is less painful than the truth. Since the truth can be painful, we lie to protect the ones we love.

So if you (husband) have been caught in a lie then ignore the warning and give your wife a copy of this booklet. The fact you cared so much to protect her will not go unnoticed.

The truth can set you free. Divorce courts are filled with men being set “free”. A lie can keep you together forever.



The Draft Room: How To Win Your Fantasy Football League: How To Win Your Fantasy Football League

by Wilson Rosario

“The Draft Room: How to win your fantasy football league”, is the best book out period. I’ve been playing fantasy football for years and I have decided to share my secrets of success with each and every one of you. I strategically assembled a book that will guide you through every turn and give you the ability to know your way around the game. It all starts from the beginning, whether it’s researching, evaluating players, knowing your competition just for starters. I then break down how you as an owner need to rank your players prior to the draft so that you could make the best decisions when they matter most. I show you step-by-step how to develop the mindset of a winner, someone that knows how to manager their team “the right way”. All the while teaching you tips and suggestions on HOW to and WHEN to, YOU should make the right moves. Once you finish this book it will completely changed how you approach the game of football. I created this book with the intention that you as the reader will be able to constantly go back to it and use it as reference for years to come. To top it all off, I’ve also included my own top 100 fantasy football players for the 2014 season So that you can see how I personally rank my players according to the same methods and techniques I use. This book is for anyone ready to take the next step in fantasy football. It’s jammed backed with easy content to understand and follow. For you to be on the winning side this year, you have to know the biggest piece of information anyone could offer you. It all starts in the DRAFT ROOM.

Table of Contents

Introduction

SECTION 1: RESEARCH

-Chapter 1: Scoring System/ Fantasy Roster

-Chapter 2: KNOW YOUR COMPETITION

-Chapter 3: SCHEDULE & PLAYER HISTORY

-Chapter 4: Knowing Coaches and Coordinators

SECTION 2: PREPARATION

-Chapter 5: Average Draft Position

-Chapter 6: Other draft strategies

-Chapter 7: Sleepers

-Chapter 8: Who to Target

-Chapter 9: Trust your Instincts

SECTION 3: MANAGING

-Chapter 10: Adjust Fire

-Chapter 11: Buyers & Sellers

SECTION 4: LUCK

-Chapter 12: What’s Luck Got to Do with It?

-Final Thoughts



Damn you Fat Fingers! [Full Color]: Best Typing Mistakes & Autocorrect Fails..

by Gordon Sutherland

Text messaging is the ultimate form of communication but Auto correct makes you look pretty stupid sometimes. People texting a word but their phones auto correct feature suddenly has a mind of its own. So it´s Randomly correcting words incorrectly. You like texting humor, or taking just a little bit of pleasure in the misfortune of others? This book brings together the best of Autocorrect fails. It is the full of funny and painfully embarrassing autocorrect fails. This book will leave you laughing until the end! Promise 🙂



10 Guiding Principles of BEING: (My Pseudo-TED Talk)

by Kerry T. Gleason

Inspirational wisdom. Everything the author ever learned in about 20 pages. This is an excerpt from a larger, yet-to-be-published memoir.



Love in Lipari: A Novella (A Kissed in Italy Mystery Book 4)

by Julie Sarff

Lily finds love at last. But will it be with her dastardly ex, Oscar with the crystal blue eyes or Brandon Logan, mega movie star? In the span of two months all will change and a two year old mystery will be solved.



Pick-up Lines for Lesbians

by Cathy Holmes

Cathy Holmes, a florist from New York, has taken the tiresome, but joyful task of compiling the best pick-up lines floating around in the local lesbian community into one single volume.

Spiced up with practical advice, this book is guaranteed to skyrocket your dating success!



100% Best Christmas Cracker Jokes!: 100% Hilarious!

by Al Abama

50% FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY!

The Best Christmas Cracker jokes ever made!

100% Proven by scientists to be hilarious!

WARNING: THE CONTENT OF THIS BOOK IS GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU LAUGH



Best Jokes Ever!: 100% Hilarious!

by Al Abama

50% FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY!

100% Proven by scientists to be hilarious!

WARNING: THE CONTENT OF THIS BOOK IS GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU LAUGH



Explosive-Cargo Q3 (1994): And you thought it couldn’t get worse…

by Michael Jay Tucker

Michael Jay Tucker on Explosive-Cargo:

“Between (roughly) 1994 and 2001, I wrote an ezine called ‘Explosive-Cargo.’ An ezine was a sort of precursor to the blogâ??i.e., a short, informal publication that went out via email to anyone who wanted it. And, Explosive-Cargo, a.k.a. “Xcargo,” was my ezine. It was sometimes comic, sometimes political, sometimes very personal. It was also relatively successful as ezines went. I had something like 1000 readers, not counting pass-along, by the time I stopped doing it. (An aside, around 2005, I began it again as a blog, which you can see at explosive-cargo.blogspot.com.)

“As I say, I let the ezine drop. But, a few years ago, I started getting pressure from its former readers to bring back the old columns in collections. In other words, they wanted explosive-cargo books.

“So, I’ve begun the process of gathering them all up and offering them as e-books. This particular one contains most of the columns of the third quarter of 1994. 

“I hope you enjoy ’em. If you don’t, well, heck. Sorry about that. But you knew the job was dangerous when you took it.

“Onward and upward.”

mjt



Five Reasons Why Dating Hot Chicks Is A Bad Idea

by Donald Rump

You found her! The hottest chick you’ve ever laid eyes on wants you and only you.

But aren’t you forgetting something?

You’re broke, and this chick is way out of your league. She’s scorching hot and you’reâ?¦wellâ?¦lucky to have her. Or so you thinkâ?¦

This short volume will help demystify the impact of a high maintenance hottie and encourage you to resist the urge to go into debt just to appease her.

Approximately 7,000 words.

EXCERPT FROM FIVE REASONS WHY DATING HOT CHICKS IS A BAD IDEA

Face it: You’re a cheap bastard! So cheap, it’s amazing that you can find a date at all. Even your five-year-old brother who doesn’t have a dollar to his name isn’t as cheap as your sorry ass. Still, there might be good reason not to date that hot chick you met at the mall last week; reasons that go far beyond conventional wisdom that you’ve considered thus far.

Let this guide be a warning to you, because dating hot chicks isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.



MEN WHO LIKE GIRLS PART 2: SEXY WOMEN WITH ISSUES

by MR. WOODY

They were young, handsome, ambitious, horny, and searching for love in all the wrong places……………………

Robert Goldman is a successful romantic fiction writer who can never fully commit. His life consists of crazy women, crazier sex, and running away at the first signs of a ring. Robert is the boy who never grew up.

Malcolm is a handsome,dignified business man who is the shining light of the community. Everything he does in life is planned out by his parents, society, and teachers who saw his potential. Along the way he lost himself and is in a relationship with a woman who is a beautiful lie. Malcolm is the lost overachiever.

John was a frail weakling in high school. He grew into an attractive,, chiseled, God among women. Out of bitterness for the way he used to be treated, he uses easy sex and quick ejaculations as a replacement for love. John is the damaged stud.

Paul had a small penis. It caused him to work hard in every other area of life and eventually become a millionaire who owns a company producing video games. He has sex with all the hottest women and knows it’s because of the money. Paul is the insecure nerd.

Join the guy who will never grow up, the overachiever, the damaged stud, and the insecure nerd, on their journey to find love, happiness, and themselves in MEN WHO LIKE GIRLS.

Writer Mr. Woody was not influenced by Charles Dickens, Shakespeare, Fitzgerald, and Baldwin. He was influenced by Carlin, Seinfeld, Sandler, Rock, and Pryor. His words are a reflection of those influences. If you are not uptight, looking for a fast read, and a good time, you are in the right place. If you are open minded and want it told like it is you are in the right place. If you want conservative Cosby style humor….RUN. Mr. Woody is well worth the investment and the journey is just beginning.



Got a new Kindle or know someone who has? Check out the ultimate guide to finding free books for your Kindle. Also available in the UK.