Free reference Kindle books for 23 Apr 15

Creepy The Clown: I Just F’ed Your Teddy Bear! (An Adult Children’s Book – Very Adult!)

by Creepy The Clown

Be warned, this is definitely for a more mature audience. More specifically, a dysfunctional, mature (immature) audience.

I’m going to show you a typical day in my life.

My name is “Creepy” the Clown, but you can call me Creepy. I’m no different from any other stuffed clown that graduated from Yale with honors.

By night you’ll typically find me hiding in your closet, or out on your dinner table at 3 am. scaring the ripe sh– out of everyone in your house. Some people say, “Creepy, how do you do it? How did you get so damn scary?” For me it’s just a job. I didn’t choose this life. Horrifying people doesn’t define me.

I also have a tender side.

I didn’t start out all creepy and scary, no. The streets did that to me. I’m not going to say those children forced themselves on me, but the facts speak for themselves. . You can only have some disgusting little kid keister you for so many nights before you start hiding in closets and crawling under beds.

Pretty soon you realize that if you haunt those little bastards, they quit fondling you. It was my fear that galvanized my abilities to lurk and horrify those little assholes – some of which are reading this book right now. All those dark memories made me the clown I am today . . . the clown you fear!

Just to be clear, success has definitely gone to my head. By all accounts, I’m a real piece of shit. If you leave me alone with your stuffed animals, then you’d better have your sewing kit ready because I’m ripping them a new one.

– You can call me “Creepy.”



Toby and the Feather Frenzy (The Adventures of Toby and David Book 5)

by Martha Rowe Sconnely

David and Toby go on a treasure hunt. They stumble upon an amazing feather. That’s when the royal fun begins!



What Would Shakespeare say?

by Ben Nelson

“To be or not to be”, “There’s the Rub”, “Murder most foul”, “Though this be madness, yet there is method in’t.” All famous quotes; why were they said, and what could they mean today?

English teacher and professional wrestler Ben Nelson takes you through Hamlet, Shakespeare’s most famous play. Want to understand Shakespeare? Want the right words for the right moment? Read this book.



50 synonyms by Mohammed Raj Abdullah: 50 synonyms by Mohammed Raj Abdullah

by Mohammed Raj Abdullah

50 synonyms by Mohammed Raj Abdullah



Beaks In The Animal Kingdom: A Kids’ Nature Book (A Kids’ Discovery Book Series)

by Steven Lioy

“Beaks In The Animal Kingdom is a fun picture eBook that is sure to delight your little ones…”

DESCRIPTION

A picture book that can only be described as fun and adorable, Beaks In The Animal Kingdom is about the similar characteristic of a beak in natures animal kingdom. There are animals in the ocean, in the air, and prehistoric that all have beaks.

Discover science with your children. This is also a great first reader.

A bedtime story for children 1-5 that is sure to delight (even adults will find plenty to smile about)!



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