Free humour Kindle books for 24 Apr 15

The Necromancer’s Guide to Modern Life

by Phinneas Crow

Do you sometimes touch dark magics or raise hordes of ravenous, undead minions bent to your unnatural will? Do you enjoy long walks in the graveyard, necrotic flesh, and communing with otherworldly forces? Do you often wonder how to reconcile your eldritch pursuits with this fast-paced, modern world? Then you need The Necromancer’s Guide to Modern Life! It covers all the basics you need to allow your black radiance to fall across the face of the world. From proper care of your zombies to finding love in the digital age when you have an army of damned souls camped out in the basement of your lair; The Guide shall adorn you with all necessary knowledge. Whether seeking to dominate the mortal realm, play Canasta with fallen angels, or get a good deal on an evil stronghold, The Necromancer’s Guide can help you live better, live longer, and maximize your wicked potential!

Decorate Like a 1950s Latin Mami

by Eusebia Weinstock

If you’ve ever attempted to decorate your home in a Latin style, you probably know the despair of finding yourself surrounded by kitsch–tiny sombreros and teensy guitars, stuffed llamas, walls painted with phony and loud “Caribbean” colors. Aside from giving yourself nightmares, you’re bound to think there’s something off and inauthentic about the way we’re supposed to be “Latin” today. But not to panic: Eusebia Weinstock has scoured her grandmother’s and other old ladies’ knick-knacks, half-forgotten conversations, and family photos to assemble a decorating credo of the authentic Latin Mami. In Decorate Like a 1950s Latin Mami, you will find advice to re-vamp any room of your home, identify and remove counterfeit Latin Mamis from your life, and get in touch with your inner Latin wisewoman.

The Not-At-All-Cleverly-Titled Book of Dragon Movies

by Mr. Satanism

Mr. Satanism, the movie critic who takes no prisoners, presents fifty(ish) reviews of dragon movies at a special low price, in this all-new Amazon exclusive. Why is he being so uncharacteristically generous? Well, our hope is that you’ll laugh so hard that you’ll buy his many, many other books, most of which are much more expensive, naturally. It’s called a “loss leader”, but rest assured, you’ve got nothing to lose by checking it out: all the care that goes into compiling and producing his longer books has gone into this one as well. By which we mean he was sober most of the time. So cough up that dollar already, and then sleep soundly knowing that you’ll never have to suffer through a bad dragon movie again.

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