Free humour Kindle books for 09 May 15

Win every trash talk: How to manipulate noobs and make them shut up (LoL examples)

by Chris H

INTRODUCTION:

Tired of seeing noobs talking trash? Nowadays, toxic noobs are everywhere in the gaming community. They are grossly irritating and live for ruining the day of other players. Unfortunately, They are too common for you to ignore, the only way you can stop them from polluting the community, is to give them a painful lesson. After many years of experience of bashing noobs, I can proudly present my “Anti Trash Talk System”.

This book is all about manipulating toxic noobs, by making them seem stupid, unimportant, pathetic and childish. By applying my system, you can make them mad in no time easily, and the best thing is they can’t talk trash anymore even they are so mad. It is always funny to make noobs to shut up with only few sentences.

I personally believe, for all sort of debate and argue, the key to win is strategy, including application of general principles and specific technique. In this book, I discuss ALL situation you can encounter, and teach you the best way to defend and offend. The system is like self defense, you are expected to never lose a trash talk war again, but you can you also use the system in an offensive way, it is up to you.

You CAN’T find any book similar to this one, the ideas are 99% original (At least I don’t copy from anywhere), the 1% is I copy some funny trash talk from internet.

It consisted of 15 chapters, some bonus chapters and over 50 examples on trash talk war, all of them are REAL and proven. Although this book is not longish like most books, my words are concise so it is very rich in content, there is no BS or water.

One may worry this system would create more chao, and it is immoral to insult others. WRONG, this is not even close to the fact, you can’t really humiliate anyone if THEY don’t humiliate themselves. Therefore, no innocent would be punished.

This book will focus on League of Legends, but all the principle and technique can be applied to all online game, and even real life!

In addition, I am sure the value of the bonus chapters would go beyond your expectation.

TABLE OF CONTENT:

CHAPTER 1: WHEN YOUR TEAMMATE INSULTS YOU

CHAPTER 2: WHEN ENEMY TEAM INSULTS YOU

CHAPTER 3: INSULTS FROM A TOXIC BUT GOOD PLAYER

CHAPTER 4: MAKE GOOD PLAYERS LOOK STUPID

CHAPTER 5: TRASH TALK CONSISTS OF ONE WORD

CHAPTER 6: BEST WAY TO SAY”I don’t give a fuck”

CHAPTER 7: CORRECT WAY TO ORDER PEOPLE TO SHUT UP

CHAPTER 8: WHEN PEOPLE SAY “why”

CHAPTER 9: BACKTALK WHEN PEOPLE CALL YOU KID

CHAPTER 10: HOW TO AGGRESSIVELY INSULT PEOPLE

CHAPTER 11: BACKTALK”I DON’T CARE”

CHAPTER 12: THE POWER OF SILLY DANCE

CHAPTER 13: ADD FUEL TO FIRE

CHAPTER 14: STYLES OF TRASH TALKING

CHAPTER 15: WINNING MENTALITY

BONUS CHAPTER: HOW TO GET EVERY POSITION YOU WANT:

BONUS CHAPTER: DISCUSSION ON THE CONCEPT OF “less is more”

BONUS CHAPTER: BACKTALK WHEN PEOPLE TEASE YOU FOR PLAYING MASTER YI

BONUS CHAPTER: HOW TO GET FREE SKINS

BONUS CHAPTER: MORE ON 1V1

SUMMARY ON PRINCIPLES AND MORE:

MY LAST WORDS:



Wisdumb (Rufus)

by Jared Mink

One morning Rufus conceived the insane plan to become perfectly wise. There are few artists through whose heads similar ideas have not passed in the struggle for distinction, but Rufus had one advantage: he had spent enough time developing his self-esteem that he sincerely believed his plan an original of the species. Unfortunately, though, Rufus had never met Titiana or experienced Yves Kleinex’s performance art. If he had, he would have conceived some other insane plan instead.



48 Risque’ Comedy Sketches

by A. J. Darling

48 risque’ comedy sketches for your entertainment and use.



Comedy, Humor & Funny Jokes

by Kneedsum Utenshun

This short book could change your life. 

Never before in the history of literature has there emerged such profound work that shakes the utter depths of a human soul. Perhaps if there were a Nobel Prize for Dysfunctional Misuse of the English Language, then this charming brief entry, this sad, sorry and pathetic piece of utter drivel would be so far above and beyond any other contemporary prose that it would be left alone and isolated at the top of any other candidates the same way that little triangle is isolated off the top of the pyramid on the one-dollar bill. You ever notice that, that’s right, it’s a conspiracy. It’s all a conspiracy, aliens, ufo’s and the meaning of life. It’s all packed into this explosive and ground-breaking new release by the well-known mystery celebrity who shall remained unnamed.

Also, you should know that book has the f-word a few times but besides that it’s no big deal. PG-13 I guess.

Inside this is a secret treasure and you’ll also learn one weird trick to get six-pack abs by drinking a glass of water sideways. This book goes really well with chocolate chip muffins, coffee and weed.

Please be aware that if you read this book in the right frame of mind, you may actually fall in a comedic trance where you just shudder and try and laugh but no sound comes out. Have you ever had that happen? It almost looks like you’re having a seizure so you get the idea; there is a danger of too much humor.

Those caveats aside, we are probably dealing with a significant shift in the actual collective consciousness of current modern society. Several hundred years from now history scholars will likely look back and say, “You can see the clear exponential curve upward in the level of technological advancement that occurred precisely when Kneedsum Utenshun released that first short book, “Comedy, Humor & Funny Jokes”. It was this ground-breaking and utterly brilliant work that caused the upset of so many nuclear physicists around the globe. From then on it was free-energy and laughter and funny jokes for all.

The early “Utenshun Seeker’s” became a global phenomenon and took over the one-world government. It will all be documented in the John Lennon Memorial Peace Center in Baltimore. That’s kind of a lie but it sounds good. So if you are ready for a laugh and not just any laugh, we’re talking about right after you just took a bit gulp of hot coffee and then you see your friend laugh milk out of their nose at just the right moment – that kind of laugh.

So hang on to your hats kids, we’ve paid the full admission and this roller coaster is going downtown.

* This includes free thoughts towards world peace. Every time this book is sold, I close my eyes and think warm thoughts about world peace so you got that going for you. Not too shabby.

**Second I’m guessing that the thickness of this book would be perfect to keep a patio table level and who doesn’t love being on the patio in the summer? Come, on; of course you do. So there you have it, a perfectly level patio table, free drinks and food compliments of the Copa-Cabana and all the best friends from a dozen lifetimes.

The enchanted bliss of listening to music under the lights of the billions of stars as the beer buzz reaches a perfect and asynchronous apex, you remember a quote from ‘Comedy, Humor & Funny Jokes” and all is well in the world. G’



Making Friends: A Spanish Memoir

by Adam Lowell

â??Making Friends – A Spanish Memoir’ is a book of reminiscences based on real people and events, commencing in the late summer of the year 2000.

A humorous, informative and sometimes poignant account of a young Englishman’s discovery of a whole new world beyond the boundaries of the expat teaching community, his friendships with Antonio, Dominic, Pedrín and others at first complicate then enrich his life in the Spanish city of Murcia.

In an account that takes us from seedy bars, through rock group rehearsals, to valiant attempts to help the eccentric and rather unstable Antonio sell village houses and thus restore his self-esteem, the author makes his own journey of self-discovery which leaves him a wiser, more empathetic man.

Please â??look inside’ to sample the book before purchasing.



Counting Cards in Blackjack – Gain the Upper Hand and Throw It Down Like a BOSS!: Learn Legal Domination Strategies And Tactical Advantages

by Brock Penrose

Any time you can gain an advantage, shouldn’t you go for it? This Ebook was written with the intent to give you tools to gain that advantage; to have a sense of upcoming plays so as to be able to make intelligent playing decisions. No system is perfect, but the more you understand statistics and have a handle on reading the cards in play, the higher the likelihood you will make educated decisions and those decisions can lead to wins. Learn the system, employ the logic, gain the tactical advantage. It’s a jungle out there and you should be using every tool in your arsenal!

Card counting, or reading as it is sometimes called, can give a player a big 1-up on the competition. Most forms are perfectly legal as long as you know where the systems can be used and how to use them. This book will show you when and where you can use counting systems and then give you the tools. More BOSS for your buck!



The Hunger Wars (Episode #1)

by Anonymous

A Hunger Games Parody. Episode #1

Veronica ‘Clown’ Klossowski is thrown into a Dystopic world where she must either kill or be killed, but why? No one ever tells us why?

Read this first Episode for Free and tell us what you think. More episodes will appear soon!
Hurray!

-Parental Discretion Advised-
Includes mild, humorous violence and lots of profanity…



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