Free humour Kindle books for 24 Dec 15

Word Search (Handmade Quiz Puzzle Game) : USA States Search 50 Games for 50 States: If you know about America, I challenge you to search your State!

This is a “Handmade version” for 50 Game. No System Generator. You cannot find this version for any application. I design all games to make it fun and I believe you will love them. It is not interactive one, but you can search from your eyes in each game and see the answer as well. Yes! you can ask your family and your kids to learn about name of USA states!

Are you ready to search for a word during your free time?



Floppy’s Daydream

by Djalal Tebib

Floppy is a ‘wacky’ and adorable puppy who often gets himself into big troubles because of his curiosity and headlong decisions. Unlike other puppies, Floppy craves chocolate and loathes milk. His owner, Melly, loves him a lot and enjoys making fun of him. In a nutshell, Floppy’s life is a series of exciting adventures about which kids would enjoy reading. Children love puppies and seem to never get bored of reading pleasant stories about them.

A number of stories about the hilarious puppy are in the pipeline as this picture book is just the first volume of Floppy’s Adventures series!



Ma, there’s a Terrorist behind the Christmas Tree!

by Brian Pinette

Politically in-correct! For MATURE adults! A REAL inconvenient TRUTH!

What would MaryAnn or Ginger, Sam & Darrin, Rhett or Scarlett + Bea & Arthur or Fred & Ethel do or say if eight year old Johnny hollered: Ma, there’s a Terrorist behind the Christmas Tree!

“Irreverent & chilling at the same time. Genuinely laugh-out-loud hilarious & frightening. A surreal gem! You never know until the end, where the hell this engrossing tale is going. All the while it is Patriotic and the Author obviously loves this great USA!”

L Sinclair / NYC News



How To Tell When You’re Really Old!: Funny Happens When Kids Define Old Age (Funny Happens series Book 4)

by Kristi Porter

Intended for adults – but family friendly, How to Tell When You’re Really Old – Funny Happens When Kids Define Old Age, is the result of hundreds of interviews with children ages three to twelve, who were asked to explain how they could tell when someone was really old.

It began as part of a larger class project by teacher Kristi Porter and the children of Happi Kamper Child Care, located in North Muskegon, Michigan. Each child was to create an individual gift book for his or her parents, and How to Tell When You’re Really Old was simply to be one chapter in each child’s book.

Now, the individual answers of the Happi Kamper Kids, as well as those of the children at Community United Methodist Preschool and the kids of Power Play Childcare have been combined. Their candid, uncensored, and often hilarious answers will not only make you rethink the aging process, but are sure to become instant favorites for readers of all ages.



Outsourced (Shorting the Undead & Other Horrors)

by Saul Tanpepper

The Undead return in this short dark comedy about zombies and unemployment.



Angry Birds Star Wars 2 – Game Guide

by Gerone Adams

ANGRY BIRDS STAR WARS II GAME GUIDE

Angry Birds Star Wars II is the sequel to the hit game of the same name. It contains the same gameplay as the first game but this time our dear feathered friends are joined by more Star Wars characters. Angry Birds Star Wars II is loosely based on the Star Wars prequel films: The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. Expect to see famous characters from those films such as Qui-Gon Jinn, Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala and more. Choose from over 30 characters of the Bird Side or the Pig Side.

Learn how to play the game with the help of this guide. Everything you need to know about the game can be found inside this guide. This guide will help you get started with the game basics. Know about the different characters and the abilities they possess to help you in completing levels. Information about game chapters, achievements and game features can be found inside. This guide will also help you find bonus boxes and treasure maps that will unlock new levels and give you different rewards. Read this guide now to learn everything you need to know young Padawan. May the Force be with you.

SUMMARY (TOC Angry Birds Star Wars2)

This guide provides overall information about the latest Smartphone game “Angry Birds Star Wars 2” which is one of the most hit titles of the year 2013-1024.This guide features all the information about characters and abilities. Guide includes information related to Collectibles in game and which character to use to get those collectibles easily with proper techniques is also provided. Users will gain knowledge of any kind they want and they will surely get the answer of any type of question related to the game.

User will find data with screenshots to guide them as easily as possible to understand the game. Information related to mechanics of the game and tips and tricks to score high everything is included in this insane guide. Data is collected from both internet and local public by interviews and questionnaires. And up-to date information regarding the game is included in this guide.

Players who find difficulty in playing the game can find useful tip and tricks to get high score. Tips to hack the game to get high score are also provided with detail.

Data is collected in the preparation of this guide through various sources like popular websites, reviews and from surveying and interviewing the people who played the game.



How My Own Face Betrayed Me: The Ugly Curse

by George Bailey

I have always yearned to be a part of the social dynamic, despite my limitations, and eventually concluded that some level of high achievement – by any means – could blind people to my hideousness.

Throughout my life, though suffering from temporary bouts of self-pity inherent to those born with my “looks”, I eventually came to embrace the bizarre way my insecurities manifested into the strange, unique path my life has taken. My feelings of worthlessness, ironically, have provided the means for my life having purpose and value. I now embrace the quirky, if not downright weird, path my life took. Only in retrospect, and reflection, am I now aware of how my self-perceived repulsiveness transformed my journey from average and boring to at least different.

My life has become the stuff of legends – legendarily lame that is – in the minds of most anyway. For those of you who see “lam-o” in my actions, I offer you redemption. In exchange for you reading about me, I gift you the personally redemptive power of joyful exuberance in knowing that you didn’t live my life!

In somewhat chronological order, after first describing the seminal events leading to this book, the memories forming the mangled mosaic of my deranged thoughts and deeds will be recounted. From the perspective of a mind operating amidst a thick cloud of profound insecurity and pathos, I offer you the re-telling of a life inspired by the power of “ugly”.



Ten Stinky Stories: Vol. 1

by Donald Rump

Celebrating the best of fart fiction, Donald Rump weaves together ten flatulent tales of love, betrayal, flesh-eating cannibals, and everyone’s favorite green gas, that are sure to blow you away.

Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Over 100 pages (approximately 32,000 words).

BOTTLING FARTS

Could the greatest powerâ?¦

The path to riches beyond our wildest imaginationâ?¦

The key to reaching the highest level of spiritual awareness and happinessâ?¦

â?¦be obtained by bottling farts???

THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC

Zack Pimpton’s ass never felt worse, and it doesn’t help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the mild-mannered doctor to snap.

GOING DUTCH

Barnabus Prim has reached the end of his rope. Drowning in debt and married to an obnoxious wife who can’t stand the sight of him, he decides to do the unthinkable. But finding a way to the afterlife proves more difficult than he imagined.

MARRIAGE STINKS

Mackelroy Puggsley thought he’d heard everything until an odd man named Bilby Bloob shows up in the DMV lobby one morning. When Bilby demands a marriage license for his gassy wife, the old man puts his foot down. Sure, it’s one thing to marry your high school sweetheart, but a fart? Who in the world marries farts?

GASTROINTESTINAL BLUES

Since leaving his posh position at the Department of Motor Vehicles, Mackelroy Puggsley thought he’d smelled the last psychotic fart that nearly killed him. But in his new role as a psychologist, he quickly realizes that the problem is more widespread than he thought. Will a crazed client and his two gassy brides prevent the old man from getting one last piece of nookie before he dies? Or will Mackelroy talk his way out of another hazardous situation and live to see another hair pie?

THE WOULD BE ASTRONAUT

Hank Larmspitz has a plan.

Well, sort of.

He’s going to be the first man on the moon, dagnabbit, and he’s going to do it without the aid of a space suit or even a space ship.

THE $500 QUESTION

Perkins Deadwood can’t believe his ears. His twelve-year-old son just asked for a pet fart for Christmas. And not just any fart, a Spanish fart. Hay caramba!

Can the used car salesman talk his son out of it? Or is this Christmas really going to stink?

FINDING FLOOFY

When a man falls head over heels for a murderous fart, he has difficulty coping with her mysterious departure. Was it something he said? Something he did? Was his penis too small? None of it makes any sense. “I will find you, my darling Floofy. Even if it’s the last thing I do!”

TILL DEATH DO US FART

Helen Hubbard’s fears have finally been confirmed. During brunch one morning in her favorite restaurant, her husband Gary confesses to cheating on her, and is ready to leave at a moment’s notice. When she pries deeper into the matter, she discovers more about his mysterious lover Muffy than she cares to know. “So you’re leaving me for a fart???” Helen exclaimed.

WEEKEND GETAWAY

When Martin Dollop and Arthur Bodine set off for a romantic vacation in the islands, they have no idea what they’re in for. Now rotting away in a Mexican jail cell, it appears that they’ve reached the end of their rope. Even the pinche guard won’t do them the honor of putting a bullet in their heads, and offers each a shot of poison to end their suffering.

Will the two lovebirds cash in on their free weekend getaway and make things right between them? Or will the doomed couple kill each other in the process?

BONUS!

Also includes the bonus story I Am Fart.



Pick-4 Players: E-Z Monthly Strings 7344 System!

by Adolph Barr

Pick-4 Players : E-Z Monthly Strings 7344 System!

Adolph Barr

Table of Contents

1.Introduction

2.Why the System Works

3.How to use the Keys System

3a.E-Z Monthly Strings 7344 System

4.Ready Reference Pairs Workout

4a.Ready Reference Triplets Workout

4b.Ready Reference Pick-4 Workout

5.The Quick 1st Digit Position Keys Followers

6. The Quick 3rd Digit Position Keys Followers

7. The Quick Pairs Followers Chart

8. The Masters Pairs Followers Chart

9. The Masters Followers Chart

10.The Key#’s Master Followers Chart

11.The Doubles Master Followers Chart

12.The Series Master Followers Chart

13.The Sums Master Followers Chart

14.The Root Sums Master Followers Chart

15.The Last Digit Sums Master Followers Chart

16.Pick-3 Master of All Position Chart

17.Adolf ‘s Lottery Number Rules

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3a.E-Z Monthly Strings 7344 System

************************************

Let’s say if Wisconsin had on June 01,2013 the number was 7230

E-Z Monthly Strings Pairs 5122 Chart

Example #3327

E-Z Monthly Strings Pairs 5122 Chart

72=7-9-4-7-1-9-4-8-8-7

5122 rules follows below:

5 is the 1st five digits Strings can be a number wheel (7-9-4-7-1)

1 is the sixth digit are Keys or Doubles Pairs (9)

2 is the 7th & 8th digits are Keys or Pairs to the right (4-8)

2 is the last two digits are Keys or Pairs to the end (8-7)

E-Z Monthly Strings Pairs 5122 Chart

72=7-9-4-7-1-9-4-8-8-7

30=5-7-2-5-9-7-2-6-6-5

Don’t’ forget to go 1up&1Down and do your Mirrors(0-5,1-6,2-7,3-8,4-9)

Plus Your Follow-ups Numbers (Keys(minus 9),(Pairs(minus 99) , (Triplets(minus 999) ,((Pick-4(minus 9999)

Sample#3327

99

70

——-

27

Latest Results

Sun-Jun-02-2013-E-7023**

Mon-Jun-03-2013-E-5369**

Tue-Jun-04-2013-E-2772

Wed-Jun-05-2013-E-8387**

Thu-Jun-06-2013-E-7332

Fri-Jun-07-2013-E-3977**

Sat-Jun-08-2013-E-2918**(2896-2891-mirror(flip 6’s &9’s)

Sun-Jun-09-2013-E-8032**

Mon-Jun-10-2013-E-8322**

Tue-Jun-11-2013-E-1045**

Wed-Jun-12-2013-E-7136**(1687-1637-mirror (8=3)

*********************************

Let’s say if Wisconsin had on June 01,2013 the number was 7230

E-Z Monthly Strings Pick-4 7344 Chart

Example #3327

E-Z Monthly Strings Pick-4 7344 Chart

7230=5-7-2-5-9-1-7-7-0-6-2-6-1-7-6-5-4-0

7344 rules follows below:

7 is the 1st Seven digits Strings can be a number wheel(5-7-2-5-9-1-7)

3 is the 8th & 9th Plus 10th digits are Keys or Pairs also it can be a Triplets# (7-0-6)

4 is the 11th & 12th Plus 13th & 14th digits are Keys or Pairs also it can be a Pick-4# to the right (2-6-1-7)

4 is the last Four digits are Keys or Pairs also it can be a Pick-4# to the end (6-5-4-0)

E-Z Monthly Strings Pick-4 7344 Chart

7230=5-7-2-5-9-1-7-7-0-6-2-6-1-7-6-5-4-0

Don’t’ forget to go 1up&1Down and do your Mirrors(0-5,1-6,2-7,3-8,4-9)

Plus Your Follow-ups Numbers (Keys(minus 9),(Pairs(minus 99),(Triplets(minus 999) ,(Pick-4(minus 9999)

Sample#3327

9999

7023

——-

2769

Latest Results

Sun-Jun-02-2013-E-7023**

Mon-Jun-03-2013-E-5369**

Tue-Jun-04-2013-E-2772

Wed-Jun-05-2013



Zero’s Embarrassing Easter: Little b and Zero’s Flying Adventures – IV

by Brian Ridenhour

Zero is up to no good again in this comical story. While Barran tries to do a good deed, Zero is behind the scenes gobbling up some of the good eggs that were donated for the big Easter egg hunt. But it never fails, Zero’s attempt to be sneaky has backfired again, and has left the whole egg hunt lingering with his presence. Zero is so humiliated, will he continue to make the same mistakes? Read on to find out what happens to Barran, Zero and the gang in this exciting Easter tale.



Japan Guide…less: Emails from Japan

by Nicole D’Arcangelo

Back in 2004, I embarked on a journey to Japan to teach English as a Second Language; a job I had never done before. I was totally qualified though because I spoke English. I had wanted to travel more, but not being able to afford it, I had the brilliant idea to move abroad. Kill two birds with one stone – travel and get paid to do it. I knew little about the food, less about the culture, none of the language, and was hired for a job I had never done before. Eh, details.

Follow me as I fumble through the country, living and working, and discovering about the food, culture, and language I once knew nearly nothing about. I’ll give you all the juicy stuff traditional guide books leave out, like what pastries to steer clear of and how to keep your cool while trying to flush a Japanese toilet. However, if you just enjoy a good laugh at someone else’s expense, that’s fine too.



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