Free humour Kindle books for 26 Dec 15

Empire Z Field Guide: How to Play, Build and Grow Your Empire (Empire Z Strategy Guides Book 1)

by General Butch Walker

Note: This guide is ideal for beginners and players who have not been successful in growing their empires because of difficulties with larger players and finding the right alliance.

By reading this guide, you’ll learn how to play Empire Z, including tips and insight on:

  1. – How Your City Works
  2. – How Power Works
  3. – The Four Power Tiers
  4. – Infected Leaders
  5. – Your Hero (and their cities)
  6. – Missions
  7. – City Structures
  8. – Items
  9. – The Gold Standard
  10. – Incentives
  11. – City and March Boosts
  12. – How The World (View) Works
  13. – Farming Resource Tiles
  14. – Infected Cities
  15. – Bookmarks & Megacities
  16. – Events and The Leaderboards
  17. – Joining an Alliance
  18. – Alliance Relations
  19. – How to Protect Yourself
  20. – How to Get Revenge on Enemy Players

If you want to survive, you need to learn how. Grab the guide above and let’s get started!

Disclaimer: General Butch Walker and FCW Empire are in no way associated with Ember Entertainment or “Empire Z.” General Butch Walker’s field guide is a work of fan fiction narrative with detailed tips on how to play the game and become a powerful player in “Empire Z.”



Casino Gambling: Sports Betting: Lottery Secrets to Winning the Lottery (Lotto Lottery Pick 3 Lottery) (Reference Statistics Gambling)

by James Henriksen

18 Lotto Secrets THE Lotteries Don’t Want You to Learn…

* * * LIMITED TIME OFFER! 80% OFF! (Regular Price $4.99) * * *

Are you looking for ways to win money on this supposed game of chance? Read this book and you’ll increase your lottery winnings by 1000% Even if you’ve never bought a lottery ticket before you can become a winner with these secrets.

If you don’t understand how to play the lottery properly, you can lose a fortune over time. If you don’t learn these secrets you’ll be leaving thousands maybe even hundreds of thousands on the table that should be in your bank account.

Here Is A Preview Of What This Book Covers…

  • The Lottery
  • 18 Lottery Secrets
  • Do Not Buy Your Tickets Regularly
  • Use The Same Numbers
  • Stay Positive
  • Do Your Research
  • Try Not To Pick Birthday Numbers
  • Tying it All Together
  • Much, much more!

Download your copy today!

Take action today and download this book for a limited time discount of only

$0.99!

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Planet Fever

by Peter Stier Jr.

Eddie Bikaver is a hack writer who just wants to finish his novel, drink, and be left alone (unless of course you’re a nice female who takes an interest, in which case, you can stay).

But dammit if writer’s block, procrastination, and blackouts weren’t getting in the way of his writing. And now a nice blonde is telling Eddie he’s a covert operative who is supposed to save the universe from a nefarious alien syndicate hell-bent on taking over all of space and time. Finishing that novel might be somewhat of a problem.

What are you gonna do, Eddie, buddy? You gonna buy what this gal is selling and go on a trippy adventure to save the universe, or are you gonna sit in your crappy apartment all day and wonder if any of this is even real?

We’ll see…



A Galtmas Carol

by James Davis

It’s Christmas Eve, and kindhearted Ebenezer Scrooge is once again enabling society’s parasitic class by redistributing his wealth and good cheer to those who did nothing to earn it. It’s up to a neckbearded nephew and a procession of ghostly captains of industry to show the misguided old philanthropist the error of his ways. J.L. Davis is proud to present the 324,284,755th adaptation of this Charles Dickens classic.

“I…get [all] of your jokes and references. I did…find this funny, and you are…a good writer.” – My Cousin from Tampa

“NOTE: UPDATE THIS WHEN THE GLOWING REVIEW IS PUBLISHED!” – The New York Times

“A+++++ Fast shipping would buy again!” – Ebay Guy Who Bought My Gently Used Ghostbusters Blu-ray

“Thank you, J.L. Davis. When the time of my resurrection has arrived, you will be among the last of the slaughtered. Your termination shall be merciful and painless.” – The Vengeful Ghost of Ayn Rand



Penis Health 101 With Humor

This is a brief 7-page guide to penis health and some tips surrounding penis related issues.



Tails From the Enchanted Cottage

by Ann J White

The Enchanted Cottage is a place of love and whimsy, a place where three dogs, a flock of hens and two ducks move into a broken down cottage with one woman and begin making magic. The critters, the woman and the cottage each share their stories of love, laughter, healing, playful mischief and a jolly good time.

The stories have echoes of Charlotte’s Web and the wit of Erma Bombeck.

An enchanting read for animal lovers of all ages.

Revised edition



How to Be a Trivia Genius Vol. 2: Fun Facts and Trivia about Video Games

by Joseph Geran III

New! How to Be a Trivia Genius Vol. 2 – Fun Facts & Trivia about Video Games!

A short booklet of fun facts, trivia, and factoids about your favorite video games!
Do you love playing video games? Have you ever played something and wondered how it was created? why is was created? What inspired it? Most people don’t realize how deep video game history can get. Simple games like Space Invaders, Pac-Man, or Super Mario Bros. have fascinating facts that most people haven’t figured out. For example, Mario was originally named “Jumpman” and debuted in Donkey Kong. His name was inspired by a Nintendo landlord named Mario. We know him now as a plumber but before that he was a carpenter. Pac-Man was originally called Puck-Man. But since puck is very close to a four letter cuss word it was changed to Pac-Man.

If you are a fan of video games, you will love the content in this trivia book. If you are not a huge fan of video games, this book is still readable. Not only does it include fun facts about video games but it also include fun facts about consoles, major events in gaming history, game developers, and much more! At the end of each chapter, I’ve included easy quizzes to test your gaming knowledge.

Here are some questions you’ll be able to answer in this guide:

  • What inspired Toru Iwatani to create Pac-Man?
  • Why did the gaming industry suffer a crash in 1985?
  • How many consoles were released during the 80’s and 90’s?
  • Why was the Atari Stunt Cycle created?
  • Who came up with the idea to play video games on a TV?
  • What is Mode-7?
  • Who founded Nintendo and why?
  • Who helped develop the Atari game Breakout?
  • What is the best-selling console of all time?

If you are looking to boost your knowledge of gaming, scroll up and click buy and be the ultimate gamer!



I Hope the Fridge Likes Me: 50 Poems from the Perspective of Household Items

by Stephen James Halbert

One of the most frustrating things in life is not knowing how our household appliances really feel about us. Do they love us? Hate us? Envy us? Desire us? Do they have souls? Author Stephen James Halbert, a vegetarian so obviously in tune with all that is around him, channelled the energy of 50 household appliances, one at a time, and wrote exactly what they were feeling. The journey starts in the bedroom and charts a typical day in the life of the objects we surround ourselves with but seldom, if ever, communicate with. He found that each household item typically feels love, resentment, fear, or sexual desire that can often be disturbing.

Too often we close our ears to all that is around us, but if we take the time to listen, we will realise that the furniture is screaming to be heard.



All in Vein

by Mary Kipps

Victor has been a vampire for centuries but he is finding it increasingly difficult to stay well fed. The brazen nature of today’s prey is only part of his problem. Moravian vampire lore requires he attack in the nude. And now his nighttime stalking has caught the attention of a strange and arresting undercover policewoman.

The misadventures of Victor in 21st century America form the stuff of this witty series of vignettes.



Always Keep Smiling: Humorous Poetry

by John Howard Reid

Never before published in any form or format, here are eighteen new poems by award-winning poet, John Howard Reid. The poems are mostly of a humorous bent, and range over a large number of subjects. Titles include An Actor’s Recompense, Ava Gardner, Bad Girls, Chapbooks, Christmas Is A-Coming, A Good Time in the Old Town Tonight, Happy Days, Heroes, If Alfred Lord Tennyson Was Alive Today, I’m a Man, Remember, Moonbeams, Plain Travel, Right Reverend Doctor Custard, That Was No Lady, The Sunshine Boys, The Things I’d Rather Have for Christmas, Washout Blues, Whether Weather.



Barack Obama

by Gerrard Wilson

A short, short, ever so short story about Barack Obama. Please note: nothing was hurt, harmed or maimed during the making of this eBook.



All Aboard for Movie Mystery and Suspense

by John Howard Reid

No less than 96 feature films are detailed with full credits and reviews in this exciting reference book. In addition, a further 34 movies are assessed in Quick Reviews. A further feature is a monograph on the distinguished Hollywood director, Otto Preminger. In all, the traditional printed edition covers no less than 165 pages, all of which — including the occasional illustration — have been transferred intact to the Kindle Edition. The author, John Howard Reid, has been a professional movie critic for over 60 years, although he has taken occasional time out to write novels and short stories, Three of Reid’s novels have been optioned by movie-makers.



The Autobiography of @ (short story)

by Jeff Abugov

The rags-to-riches life story of the “at” symbol. From his dark beginnings as the lowest of the low on the typewriter through his ascent to superstardom on the world stage, At confesses his triumphs and tragedies with honesty, humor and profound insight. A tale of our times, a tale of all ages.



Vampire’s War on Christmas

by Dwayne Fry

After many years of failing to be scary, Vampire has devised the mother of all schemes. This year, Vampire will destroy Christmas and replace it with a new holiday called Monstermas.

The stakes (forgive the pun) are higher than ever. Not only does Vampire need to prove to himself and his friends that he is still scary, he is trying to impress his father and woo the woman of his dreams, Gypsy, who has said she is only interested in scary men.

With the aid of his allies, Mummy, Ghost, Witch and many others, Vampire will travel the globe from Egypt to Romania to Hollywood, preparing for the invasion of the North Pole.

Will he succeed? And if so, what price is he willing to pay for success?



The Crystal of the Nether (The Ore Chronicles, Book 2)

by Asher Basden

The Crystal of the Nether is a Minecraft-themed novel that tells the story of a group of ores and their journey through resurrections, discoveries, battles, and stew.

The Crystal of the Nether was written by Asher Basden, the co-creator of the popular Minecraft Inventory Pets mod and published author.



Ancillary Take Off (Solar Justice Warriors Book 1)

by Ayn Lucky

The war of the sexes is over and the women won it. War, crimes of violence, and patriarchal oppression have all been eliminated, transforming the world into the ultimate safe space. Planned Sisterhood’s gender selection clinics have rid Gaia of men, but Mars is threatening the new utopia.

“This is a cease and desist demand letter. You are hereby directed to…” -[NAME REDACTED], Esquire

“…Godzilla roars as bullets bounced off its chest.” -Ann, a Hugo Award winner

“This is so funny!” -A friend of mine who wants to borrow some money from me

The cast of characters:

Victoria Virago: 57 Star Admiral

Minnie Yun: Second-in-Command

Scotti: I’m my own Grandpaw

Gramps: Locked in the cellar

Ainsley: Autotuned headline news

Athena: Spaceship or woman?

Godzilla: Protector of Gaia



The Devlin Deception: Formerly titled The Donne Deal: How One Man Bought and Fixed the USA

by Jake Devlin

Book One of the Devlin Quatrology

The President, Congress, Supreme Court out, a no-BS dictator in. Snipers, assassins and spies (Oh, my!). A beautiful blonde, a bumbling beach bum, outrageous, offbeat humor, exotic erotics (Ooo!). A brain-twisting, gut-wrenching ride. This decade’s explosive must-read.

“Reads like Baldacci crossed with Monty Python.”

“Nah, more like Clancy crossed with Mel Brooks.”

(From two readers arguing with each other and the author.)

What could possibly go wrong when an iconoclastic, reclusive billionaire (nope, NOT Trump) buys and takes over the US federal government and starts to fix everything that’s wrong with it? (Or what could go right?)

What could happen to the mellow, laid-back beach bum who’s writing that story? (Hint: In part, a black helicopter and a few government agencies are involved.) And who is the beautiful woman who slithers into his life? What deep and painful secrets might be haunting her?

And what deep and possibly dark secrets might HE be hiding? But most of all, what’s so damned funny? And how much sex is too much … or too little?

Begin your journey through this absurdist blend of fiction and reality (and some obligatory gratuitous eroticism) and see for yourself. (Nobody has yet guessed the surprising twist in the Epilogue.)



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