Free humour Kindle books for 03 Dec 16

Pokemon Go Advanced Strategy Guide (Pokemon Go Game Cheat Sheet, Tricks, Hints, Tactics, Tips, Hacks, for iOS, Android) (Pokemon Go Guide Book 2)

by Clarence Lefort

Are you ready to take your Pokemon Go playing to the next level!?
Then get ready for the Pokemon Go ADVANCED Guide! You’ll learn how to find all the Pokemon you’re missing, how to collect the Pokemon you need most, and which resources to buy to level fastest. You’ll understand how the stat mechanics work, which Pokemon are best, and how to attack enemy gyms and keep them defended under your control. Plus, there’s an entire Pokedex with the run down on every Pokemon in the game! What are you waiting for?
This guide is going to help you be The Very Best Like No One Ever Was!â??

REDLIGHT, GREENLIGHT, LIMELIGHT: Red Carpet Adventures & Hollywood Journalism 101

by Quendrith Johnson

“A humorous fame expose from Hollywood to Cannes and back… a cross between Pauline Kael’s â??I Lost it At the Movies’ and â??Bridget Jones Diary’ with a real Bridget, by an insider celebrity journalist who can still eat lunch in this town.” — Anonymous

REDLIGHT, GREENLIGHT, LIMELIGHT is the real-life professional adventures of a celebrity journalist on the red carpet in Los Angeles covering everything in Hollywood from the EMMY’s, Oscar after-parties, to Snoop Dogg’s 187 murder trial. Written for the high-brow, low-brow, and unibrow, the book reveals moments with luminaries from HRH Prince Charles on his opinion of Colonials, Jon Hamm predicting his EMMY Best Actor loss, Danny DeVito slightly tipsy, Tom Hanks stumping for SAG, and Jackass’s Steve-O fresh from his 5150 at Cedars Sinai. In-depth star interviews include Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro, Kirk Douglas, Lynn Redgrave, Brittany Murphy, Corey Haim, Adam Lambert, Sharon Osbourne, Max Von Sydow, Bill Engvall, Spalding Gray. These insider moments are paired with behind the scenes confessionals; there’s a glimpse into Jennifer Lawrence before and after her Oscar win for Silver Linings Playbook, a note from her, and a true story about who taught her to parallel park on the CBS lot.

Gems in REDLIGHT, GREENLIGHT, LIMELIGHT include Gore Vidal’s unanswered letter to President Obama, Kirk Douglas’ history making night at 96 with De Niro, and the lost wisdom of Spalding Gray, as well as Kathy Griffin’s take on breaking up, and Paul Williams talking about writing “We’ve Only Just Begun.”

REDLIGHT, GREENLIGHT, LIMELIGHT is a guilty pleasure with enough substance – such as Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious explained by the man who wrote it for Walt Disney and what gets left out of the Los Angeles Times in an edit session – that is doesn’t feel like pop-sugar gossip but a breezy entertaining treat for all ages.

Twilight of the Star Vampires (Book 1) A Parody of the Twilight Saga, Star Wars and Star Trek: A Multimedia Book with Links to Original Video of Scenes from the Book

by Paula Sunsong

What happens when Twilight Saga vampire Edward Cullen meets Darth Vader meets Vulcan Spock? That question is answered in this parody of the Twilight Saga, Star Wars and Star Trek. The book contains space fights, vampire bites and romantic nights with a Jetti Knight, Werewolf, Vulcan and Vampire love triangle (quadrangle?).

It asks the age old questions: Can a Jetti knight find love with a Klingon vampire? What if Chewbaca was a werewolf? Will Edward defy his vampire instincts and satisfy his desire in a different way with Padma, Princess Leia’s and Luke Skywalker’s mother?

This is a New Adult Paranormal and Science Fiction Parody based on #1 Bestselling series

This is a multimedia book containing links to original video depicting scenes from the book.

Chapter 1 Animal Passions
Year: 1850 Location: Planet Vullcan

Spocko reached the bottom of the steps to the sacred Temple of Logic. One hundred-foot high statues stood at either side of the temple, looking to the Vullcan valley below. The statues’ faces were stoic, even almost stern.

Spocko contemplated the statue of Mentix, the godfather of militant logic. Mentix had saved the Vullcans from themselves. Vullcans had been a violent race, driven by emotions. Mentix had led Vullcans to the peaceful, although maybe sometimes dull, philosophy of logic.

“May I be worthy,” said Spocko. He quickly dismissed thoughts of his unworthy and emotional, human side.

Spocko climbed the steps toward T’Pow, the Vullcan high priestess. She was flanked on either side by Vullcan priests dressed in broad shouldered robes, quilted with Vullcan symbols of logic.

“Welcome Spocko to the Temple of Pure Logic,” said T’Pow. “Our ancestors cast out their animal passions on this very soil.”

Spocko looked down, and imagined an orgy of writhing, naked, Vullcan bodies.
“No, no, I mean gave up passionate emotions,” said T’Pow shaking her head. Her telepathy evidently was working well and she was reading Spocko’s mind. “The men always make that mistake.” T’Pow eyed Spocko evilly as one last image of a Vullcan orgy crossed his mind. “No I don’t look like that naked,” said T’Pow, “and I’m not that flexible.”

The Vullcan priests smirked, and then quickly changed to an emotionless expression as T’Pow glared at them.

“By casting out emotions, they saved our race from ourselves,” continued T’Pow. “They attained the ultimate of pure logic and the ecstasy of pure logic.”

The priests smirked again at the word “ecstasy.”

“Spocko, you have achieved much over the years and proven yourself exceptional. You have cleansed yourself of dirty emotions. You have proven yourself worthy to join us. Come. Receive the symbolic necklace of Pure Logic.”

Spocko bowed his head in humble acknowledgement of the praise.

“Kneel,” said T’Pow, indicating the ground.

Spocko kneeled on the carved stone ground. T’Pow placed the elaborate necklace resembling computer circuitry around Spocko’s neck.

“And now for the completion of the ceremony,” said T’Pow. She tilted her head back and opened her mouth wide. Her incisors lengthened into fangs. T’Pow struck Spocko’s neck like a snake biting. Despite the pain, Spocko barely flinched, only his eyelids flickered. T’Pow drank his green blood, a few drops spilling down his neck. Their minds briefly melded. Spocko’s eyes flew open as he saw into T’Pow’s mind and her many years of experience. Her knowledge was much larger than he had realized. Her thoughts flowed into and through his mind. He saw a picture of the current temple landscape with him kneeling before her, to a landscape of Vullcan elders jostling for power, and T’Pow triumphing as the head of the Temple. Then the images flowed into the pure logic of mathematics, equations streaming past him like a river of knowledge. All too quickly, T’Pow withdrew her fangs. The view of her mind faded from Spocko’s mind.

“Now you are initiated into the Vulcanturi, the Vampire Vullcan elite,” said T’Pow.

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