Free humour Kindle books for 22 Dec 17

Edith Wharton: The Collection (Best Navigation, Active TOC) (A to Z Classics)

by Edith Wharton

Contents:

NOVELS.

 î??  Fast and Loose.
 î??  The Touchstone.
 î??  The Valley of Decision.
 î??  Sanctuary.
 î??  The House of Mirth.
 î??  Madame de Treymes.
 î??  Fruit of the Tree.
 î??  Ethan Frome.
 î??  The Reef.
 î??  The Custom of the Country.
 î??  Summer.
 î??  The Marne.
 î??  The Age of Innocence.
 î??  The Glimpses of the Moon.

STORIES.

 î??  The Greater Inclination.
 î??  Crucial Instances.
 î??  The Descent of Man and other stories.
 î??  The Hermit and the Wild Woman and other stories.
 î??  Tales of Men and Ghosts.
 î??  Xingu, and other Stories.

POEMS.

 î??  Artemis to Actæon, and Other Verse.
 î??  Uncollected Poems.
NON-FICTION.

 î??  The Decoration of Houses.
 î??  Italian Villas and Their Gardens.
 î??  Italian Backgrounds.
 î??  A Motor-Flight through France.
 î??  Fighting France from Dunkerque to Belport
 î??  French Ways and Their Meaning.
 î??  In Morocco.
 î??  The Writing of Fiction.
 î??  A Backward Glance.



The Crazy Parking Ticket Awards: Crazy Councils, Meter Madness and Traffic Warden Hell

by Barrie Segal

This book is enough to drive you parking mad. It’s bad enough to return to your parked car to find a ticket stuck on your car windscreen. But what if you’ve still got an hour left on your permit, but the traffic warden decides to pre-emptively strike, as he thinks you’ll go over? Or if your car is sat there because it has broken down? Or if your car isn’t a car at all, but a bus, a rabbit hutch or a dead cow? Barrie Segal is ‘the UK’s leading parking ticket expert’ according to Top Gear’s Richard Hammond. In ‘The Parking Ticket Awards’, he has trawled through his vast collection of parking ticket stories to reveal the worst and weirdest traffic warden behaviour. The stories include – the dead cows ticketed as ‘unattended vehicles’; the stolen car that was left as a burnt out wreck, and ticketed; the National Blood Service van that was ticketed as people donated blood inside; the bus that picked up both passengers…and a ticket; the van driver who threw his parking ticket on the pavement in disgust…only to be fined for littering; and, how even celebrities like Madonna, Jude Law and Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge found themselves on the wrong side of the law. So park yourself down and indulge yourself in this hilarious compendium of traffic warden tales – it will be just the ticket.



Cooking With Lovecraft: Supernatural Horror In The Kitchen

by Miguel Fliguer

This book is a collection of short Lovecraftian gastronomical stories. It will tickle your weird bone, but will also give you directions to make real, tested, delicious dishes. Sometimes the recipe is just an excuse for the story, sometimes is the other way around, and ocasionally there won’t be no recipe at all. Most of the stories are tongue-in-cheek, even outright silly, as an affectionate tribute to Lovecraft and the Mythos; but a couple of tales are a bit different. There are bits -large and small- inspired by Frank Belknap Long, Donald Wandrei, Arthur Machen, Robert Bloch, Robert W. Chambers, Clark Ashton Smith, and Douglas Adams.

Table of Contents:

– Acknowledgements
– Does Cooking Belong In Lovecraft?
– Irem Hummus
– Baby Shantak Wings
– Sausage Deep Ones
– Spanakopita
– HIFYM
– The Uneatable
– Anziques Kebab
– Bratwurst mit Sauerkraut
– False-Meat Vegan Spaghetti
– Ghoulash
– An Inquiry On The Menu Served At The Palace Of King Nargis-Hei In Sarnath, Upon The Celebration Of The Thousandth Anniversary Of The Destruction Of Ib
– Fried Honey-Garlic Chicken Of Tindalos
– The History of “De Vermicelli Mysteriis”
– Commonplace Cookbook (excerpts)
– The Feastival
– The 419 Eater
– The Horror From The Ice-Cream
– Gulab Jamun
– Poached Pears in Spiced Vinum Sabbati
– The (In)famous Cthulhu Pie
– Alfred Jermyn’s Banana Bread
– Cosmick Fairy Cakes
– Post Cibum

Bon Appetit !



Mind Judge – Volume 1

by Adnan Essam

“Hello everyone, nice to meet you. My name is Kyle Frost, I’m a 16-years old student at the Denevious-High school in Chicago. I’ll get straight to the point,”
“I was born with a gift, yes yes I have a supernatural power, you’re all envious aren’t you? hmm? hmm? hmmmmm- ehm,”
“Anyway, I can read minds, yes yes I can invade people’s minds and even control them sometimes, quite the gift, right? I should thank God for it, yes?”
“NO, I’m fucking CURSED!”
“Calm down bro-“
“SHUT UP!”
“Woah, so rude!”
“Oh my GOD, stop TALKING!!”
“Stop shouting, people are looking at us!”
“For FUCK SAKE STOP TALKING GRRRR!”
“Are you experiencing a man period?”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Kyle screams internally.
“Yes, that’s my curse, people, I can read minds, I can invade and control minds but, my fucking mind has his own personality and he’s such a fucking pain in the ASS!”
“You hurt my feelings!”
“SHUT THE FU- I’m done,” “Welcome to my hellish life.”



Rosie’s Christmas Rhymes

by Rosemary Hawkins

Some funny and whimsical Christmas poems and rhymes that anyone can enjoy.
Come and meet all sorts of characters in Christmasy situations, and one weird scary story of a New Year’s Eve in the past !



Love Letters From an ordinary Man…..including some whimsical observations on everything from God to earth worms

by Stephen Dougherty

What you’re about to read are samples of daily love letters to my wife Carole. See, I get up early, before sunrise, and I write to her while she is still sleeping. Then I leave the note on the kitchen counter for her to read over her coffee. She began referring to the notes as The Daily Stephen, like it was a tiny newspaper delivered from my brain. The notes kind of morphed on me. I often lose control of my fingers, and my morning love letter frequently ends up as a compilation of a love letter, a to-do list, or some whimsical observations about everything from God to earth worms. Making a long story short; I can’t stop. I actually need to write this stuff every morning. If I don’t I feel out of whack. Have you ever left for work in the morning and forgot to dab on some perfume or failed to strap on your watch? You feel weird all day long, like something is missing, and looking at your naked wrist ever twenty seconds doesn’t make things any more pleasant – that kind of out of whack. But they are Love Letters nonetheless, and that’s the truth. No matter what form they take in the final version, lying there on the kitchen counter next to her coffee cup.



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