Free humour Kindle books for 07 Apr 18

Ein Mustergatte erzählt (German Edition)

by Willy Rencin

Ich habe selbstverständlich für die Nöte und kleinen Sorgen meiner Gattin ein offenes Ohr und bin immer bemüht, sie in jeglicher Form zu unterstützen. So helfe ich beim Fensterputzen oder Staubwischen, indem ich ihr die verbliebenen Schmutzpartikel anzeige oder die von ihr abgenommenen Gardinen handlich zusammenfalte. So lassen sie sich bequem von ihr ins Bad zur Waschmaschine tragen. Ich schaue ihr auch gern nur einfach zu. Was mich immer ein wenig aus dem Gleichgewicht bringt, ist; wenn sie aus einer inneren Eingebung heraus alle Gläser und das gro�e (ererbte) Porzellanservice aus den Anrichten holt zwecks gründlicher Reinigung. In einer Schüssel, wohlgemerkt! Eine Geschirrspülmaschine halten wir, schon wegen des hohen Stromverbrauches, für total überflüssig. Also Gläser reinigen; ein Mann würde sich für selten anfallende, aber notwendige Arbeiten (so er kein Liederjan ist) einen Terminplan machen und sich streng daran halten. Ich würde jedenfalls so handeln! Meine Frau behauptet, sie brauche dafür keinen Plan, hätte es im Gefühl, wenn der Zeitpunkt heran wäre. Sie ist sonst keineswegs so stur, ist eher einsichtig, aber in dieser Beziehung war mein Bemühen ein Haschen nach Wind. Sie hat es im Gefühl! 



Family Love: When loves knows no bounds

by Nikki Riley

When a rich lord comes to love a young woman there isn’t much one can do to stop it. Even if the young woman is that lord’s niece.



Get Huffed

by Riffan Bigley

It’s 2045. Sydney is ravaged by new evil. Prized C-suite roles are hoarded by the creators of thriving businesses. A harmless alien ideology is scapegoated over a string of minor irritations with a body count lower than the annual national road toll. The fate of an entire galaxy hangs on the outcome of the Australian federal election, contested by a deserving warrioress and a folksy reincarnation of Hitler. And, most alarmingly, entitled marshmallows in unironic Marvel T-shirts persist in asking disinterested womyn out for coffee.

Ash Mark, a humble nationless emissary of an ethical global consortium, is our last hope. Only Ash can develop a technology capable of relieving the swelling malevolence. Only he can answer the two big questions facing a city in flames: why is the air conditioning always so cold in office buildings and who is Constance Huff?



Mental Girl

by Rebecca Lesner Schlaeger

Mental Girl is here! To do what? Well, she helps me and I think she might be able to help you. Her favorite thing to do is to help someone, like you reader, to learn to like who you are first. No ands, ifs, or buts. When Mental Girl found me, I was down in the dumps, always trying to please others, beg to be liked, and worried every single minute…am I good enough? Well…I still do all of that, and get down in the dumps, but with Mental Girl’s help I’m doing A LOT better. I like myself better and I wrote a book! I wrote Mental Girl – with the hopes I would find kindred spirits, those who can relate to me, AND would finish my book feeling a little bit better…NO….A LOT better.



Red Underwear

by Charles Harvey

Dating Life in the 80’s
Red Underwear (a short story) is the story of a single man’s quest for love. Henry has just won a writing prize. He decides to place a personal ad in the local paper to find a woman to help him celebrate his good fortune. Ruth calls after finding his ad while cleaning out her cat’s litter box. Henry gets a lot more than he bargained for when Ruth shows up at the door.

Excerpt:

My phone rang late one Friday night about a week after I had stopped running the ad. The voice at the other end of the line asked, “Is this 88I-LOVE?”
“Yes it is.”
“I should hang up.”
“Oh, no, don’t hang up!”
“Why not? You already think I’m a tramp. In your head you’ve started undressing me, measuring my ass.”
“No. I’m really not that kind of guy.”
“That’s good. That’s wonderful,” she said.



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