Free humour Kindle books for 03 Jul 18

World’s Greatest Bad Dad Jokes 2018 (World’s Greatest Jokes)

by Mad Comedy

â??World’s Best Bad Dad Jokes 2018′ is a compilation of the greatest â??Dad jokes’ told by some of the nation’s best comedians in leading comedy clubs in New York, Los Angeles, Atlanta, Miami, and Seattle.

“Outrageously funny!” raves Continental Comedy

“The very best and worst Dad jokes ever!” Joker’s Wild Comedy

“No bad puns, no corny one-liners – this is serious comedy for unserious Dads!” Homer’s Humor

From inside:

An older woman who lived alone with her cat heard someone digging in the backyard of the house next door. She leaned over the fence and saw her neighbor’s little girl digging a hole.

“Hello there, little Nancy,” the old woman said, “What’s the hole for?”

Nancy sobbed and said, “My goldfish died and I’m burying it.”

The woman said, “Oh, you silly girl, that hole’s way too big for a goldfish.”

The little girl said tearfully, “No, it’s not. He’s inside your darn cat.”

Lower Your Expectations: Because A Life Built On Sand Can Also Be Called A Day At The Beach

by Randy Treu

Ah, the American Dream. How’s that working out for ya? At a time when the middle class is violently under attack from all sides comes Lower Your Expectations — Randy Treu’s wicked take on the fantasy that was once our reality. Whether it’s your job (“Our grandfathers did not seek employment that thrilled their souls, they went to work because letting their families starve would have looked bad to the neighbors”), your relationship (“It may indeed be a proven fact that love is blind, but for it to last, love must be delusional as well”), or even worse, your heightened sense of the dreaded “a” word (“As we have seen, awareness doesn’t change anything, blame does”) Lower your Expectations takes it all down with a witty and irreverent vengeance.

We Americans have gone out and gotten what we can, as best we can and in the process we’ve wound up stressed out, worn out and still wanting. Wanting happiness becomes needing happiness and needing becomes desperation and desperation becomesâ?¦ living. We grab at just about anything we can get our hands on to make life alive, but somehow it isn’t working and self-help isn’t helping. The solution is simple, the implementation hard. Stop the wanting and you end the needing. End the needing and you squelch the desperation. Squelch the desperation and you’re finally living. Put down the self-help books and step away from the ledge. Turn off the TV and tune out your life coach. It’s bad, but not that bad. It’s time to Lower Your Expectations.

As America learns to lower her expectations, her citizens will have far less reason to seek out professional help. Therapists will become the steelworkers of the 21st century – unneeded and unemployable with few transferable skills to help them make their way in a post-therapeutic America. It could be that in a few years, we will find this overeducated underclass of former self-help guru’s populating America’s street corners holding up signs saying, â??Will trade therapy for food.’ It’s time to make this dream come true.

Does Lower Your Expectations work? Hell, look around; you’re getting old, your spouse bores the hell out of you and your career, which seemed like a dumb idea back then, is now life threatening. What have you got to lose?

Minecraft Survival Guide: Top Minecraft Cheater Tutorials And Secret Tips

by Dorothy Sparks

Minecraft Survival Guide: Top Minecraft Cheater Tutorials And Secret Tips

The gaming industry has flourished and progressed along a long way. In the previous times, games were considered to be the physical attractions and activities, but with the advent of machinery and technology prevalent at every level of life, games have taken a virtual form. Now with smart gadgets in the hands of everyone, there are hundreds of gaming options available, which make you cherish a whole set of creative, analytical and technical games

In this book the game under the discussion will be Minecraft. Because of the prominent position of Minecraft in the popularity index, I have tried to make the readers familiar with this game. Although practice is the perfect tool for learning any type of game, yet this book will be more like a guide for Minecraft followers, so that they can approach this game with greater level of efficiency and quickness. When some basic knowledge is gathered you can carry it forward with further practice

Minecraft is a whole set of virtual world, where there are hundreds of features and tricks, which cannot be accounted for in a single manuscript, yet I have tried to make this book helpful for various topics like:.

  • The preliminary discussions which will deal with one of the most recurrent activity used in Minecraft i.e. crafting, its applicability and uses in weapon and armor handling.
  • An account of cheat codes which are most frequently used in Minecraft world.
  • A discussion regarding the survival mode of the game, its features and enhanced capabilities as well as the way of approaching survival mode.
  • Download your E book “Minecraft Survival Guide: Top Minecraft Cheater Tutorials And Secret Tips” by scrolling up and clicking “Buy Now with 1-Click” button!

Johnny Carson: A Biography of My Life and Time as a Comedian

by Thomas Elton

Johnny Carson – Was a well known U.S based comedian and TV host, producer, and writer who was known for his unique style. Johnny Carson was most remembered for hosting the Tonight Show and gained the TV Academy’s Governor’s Award & six Emmis.

Would you like to know about Johnny Carson?

Also are you interested in great Biographies & Memoirs?

If so you have found the ideal source to discover the best Johnny Carson Biography and Memoir packed with his success story, plus in-depth detail about the celebrities’ life and achievements.

Johnny Carson was a great comedian who managed to captivate not only the audiences of America but many people all over the world from many different races and creeds. In which he also influenced popular culture and became a household name.

Johnny Carson was the host of The Tonight Show and captured the American people’s consciousness from 1962 until 1992. Also during the ’70s and ’80s Johnny Carson was the country’s top – paid person in show business and he was mostly enigmatic.

He was very well known worldwide, clever, as mercurial (& sometimes mean) when he was off stage and out of sight from cameras as he was very funny and charming when on stage.

Discover what made Carson such a great respectable figure and great comedian and learn about his struggles and climb to fame as you take a great insight into his life.

Johnny Carson – A Biography of My Life and Time as a Comedian is a great story of his rise and fall in the show business industry!

This is an ultimate distinctive and revealing story of the Don of Late Night TV at the very height of his fame and power and, ideal for all Johnny Carson Fans.

From Here To Coocoocachoo (The Search for Yaser Abdel Said Book 6)

by Denis Schulz

Private detective Bernard Piffy came home in a rowboat, scarcely alive, he had survived the destruction of the Yellow Unterseeboot and he wanted a little time to recover but his boss had other ideas. Terrorists had put fleas from the Prophet’s beard in the headscarf Nancy Pelosi wore when she visited Bashar al-Assad in Damascus in 2007. The fleas were supposedly still alive. Piffy would have to find the scarf and the fleas before they could be let loose on America. If that weren’t bad enough his boss, the ten-year-old version of Asma bint Marwan, had lost her halo, the time warp that carried her back and forth from the Netherworld to the present day and her enemies were out to destroy her. Piffy would be locked in a battle to the death with Imams, Jihadis, and jinns that would carry him and his preteen boss from the mortuaries and Abrahamic Societies of Sacramento to the Ayatollah Khomeini Mosque in Coocoocachoo Valley.

Got a new Kindle or know someone who has? Check out the ultimate guide to finding free books for your Kindle. Also available in the UK.