Free humour Kindle books for 18 Aug 18

Build-A-Harem: Logging In (Build-A-Harem (A GameLit Harem) Book 1)

by Zachariah Dracoulis

WARNING!


This series contains graphic sex scenes and a harem. So, you know, don’t read it if you don’t like that sort of thing. Or do, I’m an author, not a cop.


It was supposed to be easy…

Dax just wanted to have the easy-going, sex-filled gaming experience he thought was promised with the Build-A-Harem ‘expansion’ for Re.Generation.
Instead, Dax has been thrown in the deep end and has to explore the island he’s been dumped on with his guide and companion Jesse, a talking Komodo Dragon who is more cowboy than reptile, all the while learning what it takes to actually build a harem.

There will be crafting, world-building, and, obviously, sex in this, the first of a series of fun novellas where everything has to be earned and there are no short-cuts.



MORE RANTINGS AND RAVINGS OF A SCREENPLAY READER, second edition: All the original essays plus 13 new ones

by Howard Casner

All the original essays plus 13 new ones including THE FUTURE IS NOW: A PRETENTIOUS ESSAY FOR SCREENWRITERS (what screenwriters should be doing to further their career), ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL (variations on structural engineering when it comes to screenplays), GOD DARNIT, MR. LAMARR, YOU USE YOUR TONGUE PRETTIER THAN A TWENTY DOLLAR WHORE (how to improve your dialog), and “LADIES, GENTLEMEN, THE FILM YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE TODAY IS AN HOMAGE TO THE “NO REASON”-THAT MOST POWERFUL ELEMENT OF STYLE” (the best WTF films of the new millennium).

After entering your screenplay in contest after contest, have you often wondered why you constantly come up empty handed? Why your entry never seems to make it past the quarter- or semi- or whatever is the lowest of the finals?

These essays are based on my now almost twenty year experience as a reader and judge for numerous competitions, as well as a provider of one-on-one personal consultation. During that time, I have come to notice that writers often seem to make the same sorts of mistakes over and over and overâ?¦and over again.

The essays are not rules to live by. The essays are just a way to give you, the author, more of an idea as to what you may need to do to make it up to that next level.

Enjoy.

Reviews of the first edition:
Jeremy Carron, If you are just starting down the path of pursuing a screenwriting career, you’ll definitely want to check out the chapters on common mistakes, what works best and what to avoid…Howard’s encyclopedic knowledge of cinema, combined with a keen sense of humor, makes for a very enlightening and entertaining read;
Dinahon, …Howard tells it like it is. His “rantings and ravings” details how screenplays succeed or fail with specifics of what contest readers look for in great scripts or find in horrible scripts. In more than half of the book, Howard presents examples of movies, in different genres, that show original screenplays, successful character development, plots, premises, and concepts that work;
Kays Al-atrakchion, An insightful book from the perspective that matters the most…that of the professional reader;
Marshall Northon, I encourage anyone interested in screenplays, screenwriting or film to buy “Rantings and Ravings of a Screenplay Reader,” by Howard Casner, as I’m sure you’ll find it well worth the price..Highly recommended!;
S. Estebon, This collection of his “Rantings and Ravings” is just what a screenwriter needs. Sage advice, encouragement and the truth. As a writer and screenwriting coach I can tell you he speaks to the things that we all need to pay attention too…Buy this book! I did;
cynosurer/Tim Laneon, …We write to be read. So how one’s screenplay is read is as important as how it was written. This book reminds us of the importance of the read as the read proceeds all the other steps that lead to a viewing.
A-bombon; fun to read, Casner is a real wit… dry yet not cynical, clearly loves his craft.



Fortnite Battle Royale Updates: Beginners Guide to Becoming a Pro Player on Time

by GamePress Guides

Learn top secret tips you never knew to help you win every time in Fortnite Battle Royale .

This guide is beginner-friendly and will hold you by the hand and teach you all that you need to know to get started.

If you are new to this game, this guide is for you. It is very easy to read and comprehend. The best thing about this guide is that it will give you tips that you can start applying in this game to becoming a pro player.

So, what are you waiting for? Go get this book now and take your game to the next level.



World’s Greatest Truly Offensive Jokes 2018 (World’s Greatest Jokes Book 3)

by Mad Comedy

St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for the incoming, and he needed to use the restroom. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention.

“Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go take a leak?”

“Sure,” replied Jesus. “What do I have to do?”

“Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven.”

“Sounds easy enough,” Jesus shrugged.

So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went off on his errand. The first person to approach the gates was a wrinkled old man. Jesus summoned him to a chair in front of a Heavenly desk and sat across from him.

Jesus peered at the old man and asked, “What was it you did for a living?”

The old man replied, “I was a carpenter.”

Jesus remembered his own earthly existence and leaned forward.

“Did you have any family?” he asked.

“Yes, I had a son,” the old man nodded, “but I lost him.”

Jesus leaned forward some more.

“You lost your son? Can you tell me about him?”

“Well, he had holes in his hands and feet,” the old man said tearfully.

Jesus leaned forward even more and whispered, “Father?”

The old man leaned forward and whispered, “Pinocchio?”

This collection of raunchy, offensive, nasty jokes is sure to shock and offend nearly everyone.

REVIEWS:

“Five stars! I don’t know if you can legally tell a joke where Donald Trump has his way with Sasha and Malia Obama, but this is the book to find it!” Funniest Ever Weekly

“This book makes fun of blacks and whites, Christians and Muslims, women and transexuals, and everyone in between in a series of the funniest, dirtiest jokes ever. Just don’t get caught reading it!”
Comics Forever

A black guy walks into a country bar in Alabama and orders a white wine.

Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: “You ain’t from around here, are ya? Where ya from, boy?”

The black guy says, “I’m from Iowa.”

The bartender asks, “What th’ hell you do in Iowa?”

The black guy responds, “I’m a taxidermist. ”

The bartender asks, “A taxidermist… now just what th’ hell is a taxidermist? ”

The black guy says, “I mount animals.”

The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, “It’s OK, boys, he’s one of us!”



Spooktacular Halloween Jokes For Kids

by Michelle Zimmerman

A spook-tacular collection of 101 frightfully funny jokes, riddles, and puns. Your child will have hours of monstrous fun reading and sharing these jokes! Tickle your child’s funny bone with this fang-tastic collection!

Here’s a sample:

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite!

Here’s another:

Q. What do monsters like to read?
A. Their HORROR-Scope!



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