Free humour Kindle books for 06 Oct 18

Fortnite For Kids: 5 Books In 1 Bundle: The Complete Guide To Becoming A Fortnite God With A Fast And Flawless Victory

by Pro Gamer Guide

Attention to all Fortnite fans! Read this book! This is an in-depth guide of the past and present Fortnite!!

Are you ready to have Fun, improve to an Exciting New Level of Winning and Consistently win more Victory Royales?

If you were wondering the secrets of landing faster, all you need to do is read. Perhaps you were wondering how to get better at building? Besides practicing building, you need to read the tips this guide has for you.

This five-in-one guide will give you all the information you need to become a Fortnite God!

Wow your friends, and maybe even your family, with your new-found build-to-kill strategies. If you are a noob, this book is for you. There is an in-depth description of what not to do and how to avoid the easiest causes of death in Battle Royale. If you are a professional gamer, this guide is recommended for you as well.

Be Quick, Be Clever, Dominate like a top player!

“Fortnite: Battle Royale” has taken the world by storm and created a cult following in no time, and for good reason. This fun and “easy” shooter game has a “Hunger Games” feel, with simple graphics and commands with One goal: be the last on the battlefield. Read the book to learn gunplay secrets pros employ in their gaming to win every time and detail strategies for key binding based on different pros’ settings used to accomplish different tasks in the game.

Aim No More Losing Gun Fights! Build Like A Pro! 

“Fortnite: Become a Pro in Battle Royale with Secret Building and Combat Strategies with Hidden Chest and More” will help you achieve Pro status as a Fortnite player. Read the book to increase your expertise and learn strategies that will give you the advantage you need to achieve the Victory Royale.

Included are more advanced tips for the more seasoned gamer along with rebinding tips for your keyboard if you use a PC. Every control on the keyboard, the PlayStation, and Xbox is available here. No matter what kind of gamer you are or what your level of skill is pertaining to strategizing in warfare, there is something for everybody here! Happy Gaming!

Here’s what you’ll learn; 

  • Descriptions of every location on the map, old and new. There are even some pointers on where to find some great chest locations. Where to land and what to consider before doing so is key to winning if you want to get a head start in the game.
  • Crafting recipes for those who are purveyors of Save the World, along with a guide for killing all of the monsters in Fortnite: Save the World.
  • Turbo building and how to build to save yourself are skills all decent gamers should know. What types of materials are best for all different structures and where to farm for these valuable resources is included.
  • Saving yourself is important, and that is why you need to know how to heal yourself. A description of every healing item in the game is available for your eyes to look upon.
  • The best part of this guide is the deep look at every weapon in the game. It discusses the damage and DPS each weapon can manage, along with the rate of reloading, and the size of the magazine and clip.
  • And much much more!

Order Today! Take Control of your Game! You are guaranteed to Never Lose A Battle!



(how not to do) A Lap of Ireland: mud, sweat and tears

by Richard Georgiou

This is a short book about me getting the motorcycling adventure bug, passing my test and fumbling my way around Ireland. It includes rain, falling off, mud, contentment, camping, more rain, misery, nirvana, two complete flip outs, a chilli con carne, wine and a fine selection of English and French cheeses.



My Uncle Jack’s Off

by Bo Nehr

Hot dogs, pimps, elephants and crime. These things have absolutely nothing to do with this epic twisted tale, but you have to admit they’re pretty attention grabbing, right?!?

Bored of reading the same old hum-drum books about superheroes, lawn furniture and how to grow the best cheese log? My Uncle Jack’s Off is a one-of-a-kind tale with a ham-fisted, adult-focused tone that will have you laughing out loud with every turn of the page until your belly aches. The best part? You’ll know your stomach hurts from laughter and not tapeworms!

Here are just a few of the thought-provoking things world-renown book critics have had to say about My Uncle Jack’s Off

  • “I used my left hand to turn the pages instead of my right and it was like sharing an unforgettable experience with a stranger.” – Rosie Palmer
  • “I’ve heard some tall tales, but Uncle Jack has a story so big you may not be able to take it all at once.” – D.T. Sanchez
  • “My favorite part was the check I received for this endorsement” – Handsomely compensated reader who wishes to remain anonymous
  • “Finally, a story that the common unicyclist can relate to” – Gary the Unicyclist
  • “[Shakes book…] How do I get the sound out?” – Reginald, the guy down the block who confuses audio with print
  • “I find this book VERY hard to put down!” – Prank victim who got his hand superglued to the book
  • “It’s the perfect length. What they say is true… size matters.” – A guy obsessed with tape measurers. Why, what’d you think?

This book gives you all the raucous fun you can handle without being committed for excessive laughter. Perfect for late-night bedtime stories, bar mitzvahs, propping up a coffee table leg, surprise parties for the elderly, as a replacement for a toaster manual, or even light bathroom reading, it’s time you saw Uncle Jack’s Off for yourself.

Pick up a copy of My Uncle Jack’s Off by clicking “Add to Cart” above. You’ll love the side-splitting story, hidden pictures, and one man’s epic climax to fun.



The Trumpeter’s New Clothes (Post Trump Era Book 3)

by Robyn Engel

PARENTS’ MOST WHIMSICAL TOOL FOR EXPLAINING THE NAKED TRUTH OF TRUMP.

A delightfully clever modern-day spin on Hans Christian Andersen’s classic children’s tale, The Emperor’s New Clothes.
Warning: Not for those who lean Orange.
This brief and vibrant rhyming adventure comes complete with an edge-of-your-seat covfefé cannon pickle, a remarkable girl who sparks positive strides throughout the lands, and an overly dramatic (yet far underpaid) porcupine with a hair-brained view of it all. The Trumpeter’s New Clothes serves gratuitous spoonfuls of humor and hope — flavors needed even more today than yesterday.

For mature children and immature grown-ups.
Warning: Not for those who lean Orange.



My Cat Ate Aliens: Humorous Tales in Veterinary Medicine

by Natalie Griffin DVM

My Cat Ate Aliens and Other Humorous Tales in Veterinary Medicine is a collection of over 40 outrageous stories from the world of veterinary medicine. Dr. June B. French and her friends take you on a journey where they find themselves in the most unlikely scenarios, filled with surprising characters and twists no human could have foreseen. It all begins in a shelter, wherein they are faced with an impossible, heart-wrenching dilemma. From there, many more adventures are mapped out as you follow June into the land of dogs, cats, horses, alpacas, camels, horses, and even birds of all feathers (the scariest June has ever faced). You will also follow the journeys of June’s beloved veterinary comrades, who detail their unexpected situations. These stories include a junkyard horse, a nudist colony, a bear and even a few mountain oysters. And you will also soon meet the furry friend that inspired this whole collection: the cat who ate aliens. These events are the unscripted trials of animal loving professionals in their everyday careers, with the greater mission to aid shelter medicine as well as finding the humor in the crazy situations they find themselves in. We do hope that you enjoy our stories!
9/5/2017-10/5/2017 AUTHOR’S PROFITS WILL GO TO AID ANIMAL RESCUE EFFORTS FOR HURRICANE HARVEY / IRMA DISASTER RELIEF. Thank you everyone who participated!
This is the preliminary work that was released early to kindle to try to help the animals in the hurricane disaster. As of 4/5/2018 10 % of sales will be donated to animal rescue efforts. Please follow me on Facebook @mycatatealiens Daily Veterinary Fun or Instagram!



The Monster Laughbook: Jokes and More from Owlsby in Autumn

by Nathan Oser

A monster of a jokebook!

More than 100 jokes about everything ghoulish, from mummies to were-teachers to Big Foot, who can’t even walk into a bar because he would need more feet for that.

“A perfect concoction of riddles, puns, spooky stories, and ghastly humor for Halloween and Halloween enthusiasts!”

Includes exclusive bonus story, the third installment of The Dreal Series: “The Dreal and the Mareal.”



The Tiny Compendium of Ridiculousness.

by Hubert J. Watergipridget

A collection of recently discovered children’s tales by classic author Hubert J. Watergipridget. Each story is introduced and subsequently analysed by esteemed academic Henry Pretension.

The stories include:

The Girl Who Would Be A Caterpillar.
A young girl sets out to find a witch that may turn her into a caterpillar so she might eventually achieve her dream of one day becoming a butterfly.

Alec And The Magical Housetree.
After Alec’s father flees the Housetree due to his incredibly itchy legs, Alec and his friend Elisa venture Beyond the Door, to find a world ravaged by war. They are charged with tracking down a magical being, who could free the king from a terrible curse and end the war between the Fargoo and the Bloo.

The Man Who Fell Down The Stairs:
A man falls down some stairs.

The Elephant Who Often Forgets and the Giraffe Who Is Always Late To Things:
Etemaad the Elephant and Gabriella the Giraffe discuss the general decline of the environment.

Some Poems and Stuff:
Some Poems and Stuff.

The Man Who Has Baguettes For Dinner.
Yussef and Jenna meet a stranger who invites them round for a dining experience involving baguettes. However, things are not all as they seem. Their host harbours an unhealthy obsession with jam which might bring them to a sticky end. – See that’s a witty line right there.

Note: This 20,000 word collection is an experiment in absurdity. Watergipridget, though a real person, is only real in an entirely fictional sense. These stories are NOT intended to be read to children, they are simply what happens when an unemployed man takes a joke (which wasn’t particularly funny to begin with) far beyond what is reasonably acceptable. If you choose to download this text, please take them in the whimsical manner intended.



I am more than a bark

by Mito Bssalel

Tino is raising his voice about the things he does not like about humans. Tino is 3 years dog



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