Free humour Kindle books for 28 Oct 18

That Guy: Life Is Hard…Especially When You’re an As*hole

by A.J. Aberfeldy

“That Guy” is the kind of book that will change your life forever. My 3rd cousin from Jersey didn’t read it, and he is still doing heroin. Another guy I went to high school with didn’t read it either, and I just heard that his wife left him. My nan and pap didn’t read it either. Now they are both dead. This book will change your life. Just ask the guy who lives down the street from me who just got another D.U.I. He didn’t read this book either.
There have been many great memoirs written by people who struggle with depression, anxiety, addiction, mental illness, Autism, divorce, crappy childhoods, parenting, divorce, hiking mountains, traveling, surviving crashes, being molested, attempting suicide, cancer, and even having lots of cats. I think there is even a memoir written by a guy who was born with no arms or legs, and for the life of me I still can’t figure out how he wrote it. “That Guy” is just like all those books, only better. It is so powerful that some critics are calling it the next Bible. This is the first ever memoir written about the struggles with life as a real as*hole to inspire the millions and millions of other as*holes in the world who are going through the same things I did. I struggled with being called an as*hole for as long as he could remember. I didn’t find true happiness until I accepted the person who was staring back at me in the mirror. Then I went out and found people even fatter and uglier than that person and made fun of them until I felt better about myself. Now I probably don’t even need to take my antidepressants anymore, or read that Tony Robbins self-help book my mom bought me for Christmas last year. This is my remarkable true story.

How To Pick Up Chicks: A Beginners’ Guide for Picking Up Chicks

by Mike Reed

Humankind has never been able to fully comprehend the depths of the universe. Many have tried searching for answers, and yet many have miserably failed as well. Animals, for example, have been puzzling us since we first learned to domesticate them. From the time of the cavemen, sheep, horses and cattle have been successfully lorded over by man. And yet among animals, there is but one which stands out, one that man has never been fully able to domesticate, let alone touch and pick up. Simply a few men have been successfully able to do so; this creature is known as none other than the offspring of the Gallus gallus domesticus, also known to the entire civilized world as chicks. Chicks are actually among the most cunning creatures of the animal kingdom. 

Think of them as cute tiny wolves in sheep’s clothing – furry little beasts that might be cute on the outside, but can unleash a Pandora’s Box out into the world when misjudged.

Picking up chicks can be a daunting task to many, but it need not be scary. Indeed, chicks can be mischievous – some run away when you begin to grab them, some hide beyond your sight, probably even moving a thousand miles away from you, and some just never want to cooperate.

Chicks have been known to inflict pain to the men unlearned of their inner workings. Chicks are feisty little creatures in need of understanding and respect when being around them. Approaching them is one thing; touching them and picking them up is another. Chicks have a special kind of power which hypnotizes humans and allows them to look so vulnerable that we often keep our guards down in their presence. We become too enamoured by their beauty and sheer cuteness that we tend to forget what dangerous creatures they are. And just when we think that we have already control over them, they strike us when we least expect it.

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