Free humour Kindle books for 30 Nov 18

Hot Knockers

by Cam Smith

KNOCK KNOCK
who’s there?
HILARY
hilary who?
HILARY-TY WILL ENSUE WHEN YOU BEGIN READING THIS KNOCK KNOCK BOOK.

Noted Knock Knock Author Cam Smith takes you on a journey through the world of people knocking on doors and other people wanting to know who is on the other side before opening said door. It is just good security practice.

With a knock knock for every occasion – from dining on Death Row to travelling through time – you will never need another book of 100 avant-garde knock knock jokes that dismantle and explode the knock knock genre even as they celebrate it.



Crump Too (45 Book 2)

by J. Blackshear

This is the second book chronicling the life of the magnanimous interstellar superstar and world leader Carl K. Crump. It’s got the same guy on the cover as the first book did. The description explicitly tells you that it’s the second book in the set. Yeah, this is a series.

Winning never looked so good, or felt so right.

It’s 2018 and Carl K. Crump, the most potent, effective, regal, great, accomplished, masculine, great, amazing, great, huge president in the history of presidents – with the possible exception of Lincoln, who, as very few people know, was also a president in his time – has lead the United States of America through the darkest of times and the undarkest of times in his two years in office.

With a surging economy, the likes of which has never been experienced in modern history, and double-digit approval ratings, it would appear that all is well… but when a dark visitor materializes from the shadows, Crump uncovers a web of betrayal and conspiracy as he faces his most epic and dangerous of enemies – the Deep State!

With the mysterious Q by his side, Crump leads a small band rebels to take down the true enemy of the American People and lead the country back to greatness. Let the winning begin!



Fortnite Memes 2018 – Collection of the DANKEST memes: The most dank memes of Fortnite, all collected in 1 place!

by Dank Memes

Looking for the best, DANKEST memes of fortnite season 6?
The BEST #1 Fortnite memes collection in the Universe!
This book contains some of the BEST, most DANK Fortnite memes you will ever see!

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small potatoes: mouthwatering musings of a misanthrope

by Sarah Hunt

Enjoy the misanthropic musings of humorist Sarah Hunt as she takes you through a journey of essays about the minutiae.



Chuck Steak: Not the Meat

by Casper Pearl

Death once had a near-Chuck experience.

Meet Chuck Steak. His insides are well done. He’s a cop, but not just any. He’s the best. Hasn’t been one like him since the â??90s. Won’t work with partners and disregards the collateral damage his boss is always screaming about.

Chuck Steak is USDA Prime badass, so having a bomb planted inside Mia, his secret, longtime girlfriend who’s been dreaming of marriage for almost a decade, should be just another day at the office. The problem is, an elusive villain challenges Chuck to deliver Mia’s dream wedding within a week’s time, or she’ll blow.

Overwhelmed with “girly tasks”, Chuck’s forced out of his action-heavy comfort zone and into scenarios which require words instead of bullets. One results in the loss of his right hand, and when it’s replaced with a black hand, this white cop (now .65% black) encounters a new kind of villain: racism.

With time against him, Chuck will have to find a non-violent way to convince the love of his life and her disapproving family that this isn’t another publicity stuntâ??that after all of these years, it’s finally time to ditch the legacy he’s been slaving over in favor of the family she’s always dreamed of. All while overcoming unexpected hurdles like his own department and their trigger-happy mentality toward minorities, backstories, a feminist gang, incredibly friendly Muslims, dementia, depression, gender equality, and trying to maintain action-orientated roots in an increasingly politically correct world.

CHUCK STEAK is a violent, brutally honest satire of our very diverse, yet segregated society. It attempts to seamlessly blend themes of love and hate while examining the reasoning behind people’s sometimes idiotic actions. All while turning tropes on their heads and obliterating stereotypes with explosions.

WHAT LITERARY PEOPLE THINK:

“I’m not sold on the use of third person present tense.”


“Dear WRITER…”


“These pages were an absolute pleasure to read. I know it sounds cheesy, but it broke my heart to have to let it go.”


“You seem to be writing a movie script-instruction tome, not a book. I wish I could guide you here. It is beyond the time availability I have.”


“There’s so much to love about this MS – most especially your clear gift for combining action and humor. Unfortunately though, I have to pass.”


“Dear (another author’s name)â?¦”


“To be honest, you lost me in the sentence with a pronoun (they) that had no antecedent (or postcedent, in this case). I know that’s shitty, but take it for what it’s worth.”

CASPER PEARL grew up in the â??90s and developed a passion for action movies thanks to Arnold Schwarzenegger (especially True Lies and Terminator 2). CHUCK STEAK is Pearl’s attempt at reinventing the classic action hero story for today’s weak society.

AWARDS:

#1 Bestseller in Mom’s Eyes

#2 in 1992 Local Art Show

#3 in line for Opening Night of Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace

#4 in pretty much everything else

Much more to come. Follow at @thememoryeater



The Art of Pickup Lines: Dozens of Pickup Lines Guaranteed to Work Wonderfully or Fail Miserably!

by Ryan Matthew

Dubbed by some as a professional pick-up line expert, Ryan Matthew is the ultimate wingman — arming his readers with dozens of the very best, and very worst, pickup lines in the world: designed for every romantic encounter.



Best Funny Jokes Just for Laughs 2nd Edition

by Jamie Wilkinson

The second edition of “Best Funny Jokes for Laughs”. This book is filled with jokes.



The Weirdest Stories 2013-2014 (TWS)

by Ryan Matthew

A collection of the weirdest news of 2013-2014! From a gas-station robber only stealing a lone banana, to a man suing his wife over having an “ugly baby”. By the author of the best-selling story “The War Donkey”



SIN TÍTULO N°1: Relatos de la nada y hacia la nada (Spanish Edition)

by Seb O’Hara

Relatos desde Dios hasta los primates…

Lo que tiene en frente de si es una antología de cuentos salidos de las más diversas experiencias humanas.
Si busca un respiro de nuestro agitado mundo, este libro será como una refrescante bocanada de aire; pero, ey, no espere estar muy cómodo, tal vez descubra algo aquí que lo perturbe…



Volcano Rain

by Michael Atkinson

It isn’t easy picking someone to be a sacrifice for a volcano, even for an advanced, civilized planet. Fortunately, the Committee on Volcano Sacrifice Selection handles that job fairly well. But when they select Rain for this year’s sacrifice, destined to be pitched in by shuttlecraft to appease the volcano spirit, they may find Rain to be a bit more difficult sacrifice than they expected.



Caution!: Worst Joke Book Ever Written

by Joshua Bailey

To the dad who never runs out of corny jokes, to the friend who always has to have the last laugh. To the brother who’s hard to buy for, to the guy who’s always bored when he’s pooping. This book is for you! The gag gift that will leave everyone laughing at the world’s worst joke book.



Diary of Jack the Kid – A Minecraft LitRPG – Season 1 Episode 2 (Book 2): Unofficial Minecraft Books for Kids, Teens, & Nerds – LitRPG Adventure Fan Fiction … Diaries Collection – Jack the Kid LitRPG)

by Skeleton Steve

Love MINECRAFT? **Over 37,000 words of kid-friendly fun!**
This high-quality fan fiction fantasy diary book is for kids, teens, and nerdy grown-ups who love to read epic stories about their favorite game!

***This Minecraft LitRPG Series will directly involve YOU the Reader!***
Every new episode will involve a reader’s suggestion coming to life, chosen from the reviews of the last book! If you’d like to see something happen to Jack, Alex, and Steve, make sure to let me know in the review comments! If you’d like to see a new character or mob or anything else, let me know in the reviews! Tell me their name, stats, skin, etc., and I might put it in the next episode!

One Block at a Time

Jack is stuck in a video game! And not just any video game. He’s stuck in his own modded version of Minecraft in a new world he created called ‘Vortexia’ moments before a solar flare back in the real world somehow transported him into his school’s new virtual reality system! Being inside this pixelated world is weird–Jack is a real boy with a real flesh and blood body surrounded by a digital world! It’s a darned good thing that he ran into the famous Steve and Alex. Otherwise, he probably wouldn’t survive the first night!

As Jack struggles to cope with being trapped in the game he loves without an inventory or crafting menu and missing critical controls that a player would normally have on a keyboard, how will the boy survive if he’s reduced to working with one block at a time?? When a seemingly easy task of helping Alex and Steve gather some lost sheep becomes a lot more difficult than Jack anticipated, will the real boy–the Weird Walker–manage to cope with this bizarre, new world? And what wacky messages will the Divining Pool have in store for the trio today…?

Love Minecraft adventure??

Read Season 1, Episode 2 of Jack the Kid, a Minecraft LITRPG Series … now!

Join the Skeleton Steve Club! Check out my main website for details–it’s in the book!
(Get free Minecraft goodies, tips, books, maps, skins, seeds, and more!)

Author’s Note: This is an unofficial Minecraft book. Minecraft is a registered trademark of, and owned by, Mojang AB, and its respective owners, which do not approve, endorse, sponsor, or authorize this book.
Minecraft®/TM & © 2009-2016 Mojang AB/Notch



Welcome One, Welcome All – And Other Selected Poems

by T. W. Fuller

Welcome one, welcome all to the latest poems from the author of “The Boy And The Rock”. In here you will find out what it might be like if we all had erasers on our heads instead of hair, and a boy with a serious eye problem in “Out Popped A Giant…”. You’ll meet “Dan Of A Thousand Faces” and a boy who thinks he is “Going Into Outer Space” in a spacecraft made out of cardboard and glue. There’s “Batty Patty”, “Baggy Pants” and two fellows (or gals) arguing in “My Shirt Is Bluer Than Yours”, and more!

Also by T. W. Fuller:
“The Boy And The Rock”
“I Sat On An Ice Cream Sandwich”
“The Peanut Butter And Jelly And Cheddar Cheese Sandwich, and Other Selected Poems”
“Make A Wish, And Other Selected Poems”



Balls & Strategy: follow your dreams

by Rajan Kumar

Balls & Strategy is a simple, yet powerful book which promises to change the way you look at your biggest dreams. The book lays out a clear path for people to follow their biggest dreams and encourages them to take the first step.

“Many ideas fail to see the light of day and are buried in the same fertile mind they once originated in because of a single reason. People fail to take the first step. And the next steps never happen”



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