Free humour Kindle books for 19 Dec 18

Maze Book For Kids Ages 9-12 (Maze Books 2)

by Heather Parker

Mazes are a fun way to strengthen your child’s logical and analytical skills. This book provides your child with interesting activities to spend the time in an interesting way and to strengthen their problem solving skills. Have fun navigating through the corridors of the labirinth and if you feel stuck you can always refer to the solutions in the back of the book.



Winning at Settlers of Catan: More than just a strategy guide

by David Elrod

This strategy and tactics guide will sharpen your Settlers of Catan game. The book is written in English, and currently English only.



Claude de Passioné

by John Gray

Claude de Passioné (pronounced pashen-ay) is the son of an old aristocratic French family. His parents are misfits. The father, Marquis Charles is a philanderer and the mother, Marie-France a domineering psychotic who is unable to concede giving Claude his own life.The family has owned huge vineyards and wineries for generations and resides in a large ancient Chateau on the estate.While it is the Marquis’ desires to have Claude take over the business he shows no inclination as a young man. In an effort to calm Claude, the parents send him to the Sorbonne to study business and art. With the freedom he experiences away from the parents Claude is initially uncontrollable. As studies intensify, Claude takes a more serious approach to life. Unwilling to return to the Chateau during a summer break, Claude takes a job at an art gallery and innocently is implicated in a stolen antique and art smuggling and trafficking ring stretching across several continents. Following his arrest, he is jailed and suffers serious hospitalizing injuries when beaten by a fellow prisoner.With studies completed, Claude decides not to return to the Chateau or work in the family business. He decides to travel the world for two years. On a trip home to advise his parents of his plans, he stumbles into a meeting between bankers who are visiting the Marquis. The bankers are concerned about an investment they made into some other vineyards and wineries that are troubled and try to convince the Marquis to purchase them from their bank.After listening to the bankers and their plans, Claude assists the Marquis in an analysis of the wineries business, using the knowledge he gained at the Sorbonne. The family finally purchases the vineyards and wineries. Claude is surprised to have enjoyed the task.After completing his studies at the Sorbonne, Claude embarks on a journey through Europe and to the South Pacific. During his travels, he meets Claire, who becomes his fiancée much to Marie-France’s chagrin. He returns to a vastly different situation. He has inherited a huge fortune and uses some of the money to purchase certain luxuries, one being a Ferrari 250LM sports car. Marie-France has developed dementia and the Marquis has died. Claude has inherited the Chateau and the business. Claude immerses himself into the business. He diversifies and purchases a large wine estate in the Napa Valley in California and moves to California.Eventually, Claude proposes the Claire but fate intervenes and she is killed by a hippie student when leaving the restaurant where Claude intended to propose. Claude is also injured.It is during a period of physiotherapy treatments that he falls madly in love with Misty Moon, his physiotherapist. All seems well until her past is revealed when Claude and his vinter partner are informed of the sordid details of her past are revealed. Claude faces a tough decision which leaves him in a quandary.NotesClaude is a debonair olive-skinned young man with longish black hair, dark eyes, and mustache. He is just over 6 feet tall and a lean build. He presents well and attracts the attention of desirable women. He has a penchant for fashion and dresses in puffy white regency shirts and black matador trousers with cowboy boots.The Chateau is old and stately.The vineyards in France are behind the Chateau and slope away.In California, his new winery, Passion Field Estates has a grandiose house set amongst a large stand of trees and a eucalyptus-lined driveway.Misty Moon is part Asian and a beauty with long dark hair.The restaurant Claude and his fiance, Claire visit for his proposal is in real life, The Tides at Bodega Bay (Made famous as it is where Alfred Hitchcock filmed The Birds. The restaurant is today the same as when it was featured in the film.).A hippie, Eileen Dover, wearing headphones, listening to music and chewing gum while driving a Volkswagen Kombi accidentally hits altering Claude’s life forever.



Dr. R.V. Shrink Book Two: Everything you wanted to know about the RV lifestyle but were afraid to ask

by Richard Mallery

132 Questions and Answers covering every subject imaginable about traveling and living in a Recreational Vehicle. Good solid information presented in a humorous fashion makes this an informative and enjoyable read. This book will give the reader plenty to think about if contemplating a life on the road in an RV. The author has spent his whole life in and around the RV industry. Over 60 years of experiences are included in the advice given between the covers of the books in this series.



Sunshine In My Sass

by Elise Bastien

Live. Laugh. Then Laugh Some More!

Sunshine In My Sass is a hilarious and heartfelt book highlighting real life scenarios from a kid’s perspective. It promises to brighten your cloudy days with sunshine and laughter. Inspired and written by Elise Bastien, this witty, sassy and funny book will have readers in stitches. Recommended for parents and guardians with high potential out-spoken kids. This book reinforces the importance of believing in yourself, voicing your opinion and bringing joy to others.

Excerpt from book:

Mom was doing laundry all day.

Mom: Elise, please come and help me with the laundry.

Elise: Why me? Why didn’t you ask Emily?

Mom: I wanted you to help me.

Elise Oh (sad face)

Mom: What do you think I had you for?

Elise: I thought you had me to bring joy to this family.

This beautifully illustrated book will mesmerized parents and guardians. In the words of Maurice Chevalier, “You don’t stop laughing because you grow older. You grow older because you stop laughing.”



Murder on the MEOWntain (A Witch and her Cats Cozy Adventure Mystery Book 1)

by Pearl Goodfellow

A broken witch. Eight mad cats. A murdered actress. No wonder things fly off the (broom) handle!

Hattie Jenkins knows she posesses a well of untapped power.

She just hates to use it.

The Infiniti, her eight immortal cats, are as close to sorcery as the reluctant spell-slinger gets these days.

But when Hattie and the cats find the corpse of the beautiful actress, Nebula Dreddock, in front of her vanity, the unraveling clues point to murder by witchcraft.

And it’s not a pretty sight.

The fearless (except one) Infiniti want to investigate â?? they know their quirky, single guardian needs a new experience.

But the cats also realize it means she will have to face her painful past.

A past where the only crime was magic. And the heartbroken victim, Hattie.

The crew needs to work fast. Because the killer could strike again at any moment.

But can Hattie reconnect with her supernatural legacy before another body shows up…

***PREVIOUSLY RELEASED AS WITCH AND FAMOUS***



â??Hello, Iâ??m A Naziâ?¦!â? (Book Three): The Untold Efforts Of One Manâ??s Determination To Try And Get People To Like The Nazis…!

by Dr. Fick Härter

Book Three of “Hello, I’m A Naziâ?¦!”

It’s the beginning of World War II. Avid SS Officer Karl-Otto Von Lichtenstein prepares for the end of the war and the 1,000 year reign of the Third Reich to begin.

“A thousand years – it seems like a long time, but it will go quickly. I think I will learn to play piano,” Von Lichtenstein writes.

Von Lichtenstein’s diaries were found hidden in a bread tin in the Fuhrer’s bunker in 1945. By chance, an American undercover operative was able to appropriate it from Russian hands. Once in America, while the diaries historical significance and importance were dismissed, they were, nonetheless, regarded to be of “military importance” and deemed “CLASSIFIED.”
The dairies were declassified under Ronald Reagan’s presidency and “rediscovered” by Dr. Fick Härter and then carefully and painstakingly collated over the course of 18 months and finally released in 1981.

Von Lichtenstein’s diaries have emerged to be regarded by some as forming part of the most important and authoritative work on the Third Reich and Nazi Germany. They provide a masterful, historical narrative, shedding unique, never-before-seen insight into the Nazi psyche and their daily activities and revealing, first-hand, the inner workings, beliefs and Nazi plans for extreme world domination.

Book Three of “Hello, I’m A Naziâ?¦!” the untold, but valiant efforts of one man’s determination to try and get people to like the Nazis is a can’t-miss work of narrative fictionâ?¦!



Addanac City Holiday Special #1

by George Ford

PG-13

In this collection, you’ll witness Santa’s journey to Addanac City where he aims on making a good boy out of Hank, the town’s resident bad boy. Too bad there are a couple of kidnappers lying in wait for jolly, ol’ St. Nick. Can Hank pull Santa’s fat out of the fire? That remains to be seen.

ALSO: You will also get to witness Santa Claus at his lowest point when he’s embroiled in a battle of illicit controversy which could cost him his very job. What, no Christmas? Who can Santa count on to help him retain his title? Hmm….

Join Hank, Santa, and the other citizens of Addanac City for some frolicking yuletide fun! If you read only one book this holiday season, make sure this holiday special finds its way into your stocking.



Let Me Just Say: The UK’s Youngest Grumpy Old Man

by Eddie Hall

Eddie Hall’s one-man crusade against the forces of stupidity continues in the second journal from the UK’s youngest grumpy old man. In this book, Eddie tries to uncover the answer to important worldly questions like why cinema seats are designed to paralyse people from the waist down, as well as offer useful insights; like how not going to the gym could reverse global warming and why no man will ever understand what a woman is talking about.

Like his first book, A Certain Point of View, this book contains a collection of satirical articles designed to amuse and offend in equal measures. Warning: This book contains sarcastic material. Do not read if you suffer from any of the following conditions: A sense of humour deficiency, Humourphobia, Easilyoffendeditis or Americanitis.



I Hate Summer: My tribulations with seasonal depression, anxiety, plumbers, spiders, neighbours, and the world.

by Michelle Franklin

This is a compendium about my daily battle with depression, anxiety, hot weather, and militant introversion. It is also about plumbers, spiders, loud neighbours, video games, books, and cats.

This book is not a therapy book for those who suffer with depression or anxiety, nor is this book intended as a disparagement or a glorification of my mental and social difficulties; it is merely a record of how I have learned to cope with them, and is intended as a comedy not a tragedy. I invite everyone to laugh along with me through one of the worst years of my life, and hope that by reading about my tribulations, you will come to understand why I hate summer.

“Always a joy. Her writing combines an educated wit with cutting insight into the human condition. My world is brighter and more interesting for having read her work.”
–Eric W. Brittain

“The most entertaining, satisfying read… The most deliciously described stories, from the trials of the postal workers to the spider minions.”
–Dina Muchnik.

“The female Larry David.”
–David Tucci

“Jane Austen meets The Addams Family.”
–Sheena Swirlz, Radical Montreal



3000 Country Facts: 1000 Facts about Countries Vol.1-3

by James Egan

It used to be a capital crime to wear glasses in Cambodia.
Belgians once tried to deliver mail by using cats.
It’s illegal to call your child “IKEA” in Sweden.
Sudan has more pyramids than any other country.
Britain accidentally invaded Spain in 2002.
Oil is cheaper than water in Venezuela.
Dinosaurs were first discovered in Mongolia.
The world’s oldest book resides in Bulgaria.
North Korea claims that unicorns live in their country.
Holocaust denial is illegal in Austria.
It’s considered to tip in Japan.
There is a Carrot Museum in Belgium.
An Australia election tv debate was rescheduled so it didn’t conflict with the Masterchef finale.
Happy hour is banned in Ireland.
In 2008, Norway knighted a penguin.



The Best of Aloha Kugs: Volume I: Kugs says Aloha to Life, the Universe, and Other Stuff and Things

by Robert Kugler

Come along on a journey through over a decade of work as “Aloha Kugs.” Robert Kugler, author of the new novel THE LAST GOOD DAY revisits some of his favorite topics including, being a stay-at-home-dad, learning new things in adulthood, embracing the awesome power of toys, childhood and moving on, life, love, and loss. Along the way you’ll meet dinosaurs, barely avoid a fistfight in the Honolulu Library, fend off a bully, destroy several layers of comfort zones, say farewell to a few magical people and one amazing dog, and, discover the sheer joy and promise inherent in a 1970 Plymouth Duster.

Fifteen of Kug’s best columns await you here in Volume I!



Tried and True in Dog Town

by Sandy Rideout

She’s the new judge in Dog Court. Someone is out to reveal her fuzzy, four-legged secret. Will rascal Hank cause a big enough scandal to get her fired?

Marti Forrester hates saying no, especially to the Mayor of Dorset Hills. So when he appoints her to preside over Dog Court, she reluctantly steps into the robesâ??even though Hank, her loveable mutt, is the poster dog for poor training. Hank’s crazy antics even caused a rift with husband Oliver.

Now Marti is scrambling to cover Hank’s dirty tracks and avoid political mayhem. Can she do some good for the bad dogs of Dog Town despite this canine conflict of interest?

When someone threatens to expose Marti and Hank, she digs deep into the secrets of Dog Town’s old guard. The politics turn nasty, giving her exactly the push she needs to say yes to doing the right thingâ?¦ for Hank, for Oliver, and for Dog Town itself.

Tried and True in Dog Town is part of the “Dog Town” series of romantic comedies. If you like laugh-out-loud tales, sweet love stories and enough suspense to keep you guessing, then you’ll love Sandy Rideout’s light-hearted novels.

Sink your teeth into this Dog Town confection today!


More about Dog Town…

Dorset Hills is famous for being the most dog-friendly place in all of North America. People come from near and far to enjoy its beautiful landscape and unique charms. Naturally, when so many dogs and dog-lovers unite in one town, mischief and mayhem follow. Every visit to Dog Town is a heartwarming, hilarious romp with romance, a dash of mystery and a glorious happily-ever-after.

This brand new series of romantic comedies celebrates what long-time author Sandy Rideout loves most in the world: adorable dogs, cute and clever men, quirky families, devoted friends and above all else…true love.

These standalone titles can be read in any order. If you want to travel the seasons with the residents of Dorset Hills, however, here’s the list:

  • Bitter and Sweet (Labor Day)
  • A Match Made (Thanksgiving)
  • Lost and Found (Christmas)
  • Calm and Bright (Christmas)
  • Tried and True (New Year’s)
  • Dog Town: The Holiday Collection (Holiday Boxed Set)
  • Yours and Mine (Valentine’s Day)

And more to come!


About the Author:

Sandy Rideout has published many romantic comedies for adults and teens over nearly twenty years. The reformed cat lady lives in Toronto with her two dogs. She loves chocolate, books, hiking and staring out at a nice lake with a handsome man. She still pines for a nice orange tabby.



Bohemian RhapsoDIE (A Witch and her Cats Cozy Adventure Mystery Book 3)

by Pearl Goodfellow

Eight cats. No social life. On a crusade against evil. No wonder Hattie Jenkins is single.

“Silence is Golden.”

Druida Stone’s rule is legendary across the Coven Isles.

But when the cranky librarian shows up dead among the tomes, Hattie and the cats have to wonder why Druida would have chosen to take her own advice.
It doesn’t help matters that Hattie and Druida had had a shouting match just before the bookish witch turned up dead.

The murder stinks of magic.

The kind of dark sorcery that Hattie is trying to weed out.

And, as the bodies pile up, Hattie’s innate power keeps growing.

But can our witch-in-denial embrace her magical legacy before the dark magic grows too strong? And before the body count gets out of hand?

Read on to find out!

Category: Cozy fantasy adventure mystery

***PREVIOUSLY RELEASED AS: THE WITCH OF BOHEMIA***



Santa has a huge sack

by Julian Napier

Prepare for all your childhood dreams to be shit on, this tale isn’t a family friendly story of how Christmas cheer saves the day. It’s a tale straight of how one night the fat guy in the red suit saves a depressed Ice-Cream man from drinking himself to death by giving him the chance of a lifetime……. An orgy with Santa.

I really shouldn’t need to tell you that this book is weird as f*ck, or that it may offend some people.



Wedding Shenanigans: Or, how Rayna grapples with heartbreak, scandal and a hot hotelier

by Adite Banerjie

Freshly dumped Rayna Dutt does not feel like flying to her best friend’s big fat Indian wedding. But letting down her friend is not an option. So, she decides to grin and bear it. A mix up with room allocations forces her to share a luxury villa with Neel Arora, the gorgeous owner of the resort and best man at the wedding. Sparks fly and attraction sizzles.

When her ex turns up with a new girl on his arm, scandal comes calling. In desperation, she turns to Neel and proposes a fake engagement. As the attraction between them reaches fever pitch, it seems like Rayna has signed up for more trouble than ever!

*This book was previously published by Harlequin/Mills & Boon as Trouble Has a New Name



3000 Facts About Horror Movies (1000 Facts About Horror Movies Book 4)

by James Egan

Eddie Murphy was meant to play the lead role in Get Out.
The kid who plays Damien in The Omen punched the director in his private parts during his audition.
Johnny Depp made his film debut in A Nightmare On Elm Street.
The character of Gwynplaine from the 1928 film, The Man Who Laughs, was the inspiration for the supervillain, The Joker.
Kathy Bates is the first actress to win an Oscar for acting in a horror movie.
The word “pharaoh” is misspelt in the film, The Mummy.
The zombies in The Night of the Living Dead were resurrected by Venusian radiation.
A meteor appears for a second in Jaws.
Stephen King was taking cocaine while directing the film, Maximum Overdrive.
Hugo Weaving was meant to play Pennywise in IT.



The Melting Dead

by Doug Lamoreux

Everything they grab burns.

Everyone they touch dies.

Everything they kill comes back from the dead.

A secluded Mississippi River island is the perfect vacation getaway – until the space rocks land. A family is killed by searing radiation. The same cosmic force returns Dad, sis, and the two boys from the grave.

But they’re deteriorating quickly; melting away. And they want your flesh.

Oh, look. Here come the tourists.

A B-movie between book covers, The Melting Dead is a roller-coaster ride that will burst your heart with fear and make your sides ache with laughter.

Praise from critics and readers:

â??â??â??â??â??”One of the best zombie stories I have read.” – Peter Schwotzer, Famous Monsters of Filmland

â??â??â??â??â??”Ferocious, twisted and often snarkily funny zombie horror hackathon… Lamoreux’s violence doesn’t approach the nihilistic brutality of Jack Ketchum, but when he does go there, it’s all the more gripping because it is inflicted on characters you actually come to know and care about.” – Peter O’Keefe, Tales From The Darkside

â??â??â??â??â??”A terrific read that delivers a fresh look at zombies – something I wouldn’t have thought possible a dozen years into the undead renaissance. Here’s hoping Hollywood is paying attention – this is a modern classic just waiting to leap off the page.” – Aaron Christensen, Amazon Review



Spezialagentin Nordstrom: Mission Karina (German Edition)

by E. Dence

Nichtsahnend will Roberta Nordstrom einfach nur ihrem Job in der Ausbildung nachkommen, als sie plötzlich versetzt wird. In ihrem Alter soll die kampfstarke Delphindame mittleren Alters plötzlich auf Spielplätzen aufpassen, wie ein alter Omadelphin? Zornig schwimmt die rasende Roberta in die Delphinhauptstadt, um den Ratsdelphin zur Rede zu stellen, der ihr das eingebrockt hat. Als sie nichts erreicht, wendet sie sich an den Kriegsrat. Zufällig benötigt der Kriegsrat aber selbst Unterstützung, denn in einer Schule weit im Süden gibt es Schwierigkeiten und die Sache muss dringend untersucht werden.

Während der Kriegsrat sich um Roberta Nordstroms Problem in der Hauptstadt kümmert, saust die frisch gebackene Spezialagentin in den Süden, um ihre erste Mission für den Kriegsrat durchzuführen. Bereits kurz nach ihrer Ankunft stellt die Spezialagentin fest, dass hier einiges nicht mit rechten Dingen zugeht. Kann Roberta Nordstrom den Siedlungsdelphinen im Süden bei ihren Problemen helfen und alle Rätsel lösen?



1000 Facts about the Human Body

by James Egan

A fetus has a heartbeat after ten days.
The liver has 300 functions.
Birthmarks can be hereditary.
Nobody knows why we have blood types.
Sea coral can be used in bone graft surgery.
It’s impossible for a contact lens to get stuck behind your eye.
There are at least nine useless organs. The appendix isn’t one of them.
There are absolutely no muscles in your fingers.
Nobody has a clue how many muscles the human body has.
Some scientists believe the gut has a second brain.
Teeth can survive lava.
You have taste buds in your ears.
There are seven types of twins.
Men and women experience different symptoms before they have a heart attack.
When a person gets a kidney transplant, their old kidneys are usually not removed.
There is only one muscle that can’t get tired.
You can live without an intestine.
It is possible to survive with 90% of your brain removed.



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