Free humour Kindle books for 08 Feb 19

Com Zeus Não Se Brinca (Portuguese Edition)

by Paulo Bitencourt

O novo livro do autor do best-seller Liberto da Religião, um dos livros mais vendidos na categoria Ateísmo, Religião e Espiritualidade.

â??â??â??â??â?? Inteligente, atrevido, subversivo. «Se Paulo Bitencourt tivesse vivido na Inglaterra na década de 1960, certamente teria sido convidado para integrar os Monty Python.» (Leandro Karnal)

â??â??â??â??â?? Humor crítico de excelente qualidade. «Este livro espeta os defensores de verdades absolutas com suas falácias absolutamente infantis, governados pelo medo de pensar.» (Juanico di Salvo)

Temas abordados: Alá, Ateísmo, Bíblia, Ceticismo, Céu, Ciência, Comunismo, Cristianismo, Deus, Diabo, Evolução, Filosofia, Gospel, Igreja Católica, Evangélica, Pentecostal, Universal, Inferno, Islã, Jesus, Judaísmo, Livre Pensamento, Maomé, Protestantismo, Religião, Satanás, Socialismo, etc.

Conte uma piada de Diabo, e Deus rirá. Conte uma piada de Deus, e o Diabo rirá â?? e Deus sentará você no colo do Capeta.

Existe coisa mais absurda que ofender seres invisíveis? Enquanto nossas sondas espaciais vasculham os confins do Sistema Solar, em pleno século XXI pessoas ainda podem ser presas e assassinadas por brincar com palavras como Deus, Javé, Jesus e Alá. Quatro bilhões de cristãos e muçulmanos acham normal acreditar em seres invisíveis que, num lago de fogo e enxofre, torturam quem acha engraçado acreditar nesses seres invisíveis.

Com Zeus Não Se Brinca é uma coletânea de cerca de 330 reflexões satíricas (várias das quais aludem a fatos recentes) concebidas por Paulo Bitencourt com o objetivo de, através do humor, levar seus leitores a ponderar sobre as loucuras do mundo da religião.

Paulo Bitencourt nasceu no Paraná, mas passou a infância no Rio de Janeiro. De família evangélica, quase se tornou pastor. Ao fim do quinto semestre de Faculdade de Teologia, em São Paulo, abandonou os estudos e foi viver na Áustria, onde se formou em Canto Lírico. Sua esposa é natural de São Petersburgo, na Rússia, e seu filho nasceu na terra de Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.



Beyond Dead: An Afterlife Adventures Novel (A Paranormal Ghost Cozy Mystery Series Book 1)

by Jordaina Sydney Robinson

For fans of Jana DeLeon and Angie Fox comes a new paranormal mystery series â?¦ set in the afterlife.

You thought life was hard? You should try being dead!

Death is not what Bridget Sway expected. Not at all.

There are no harp-playing cherubs. There are no cloud cars. There aren’t even any pearly gates to walk through.

Death is a fashion disaster of a uniform and a job that doesn’t pay. It’s a heinous communal living situation with housemates who have no concept of privacy or personal space. It’s a handsome parole officer who is a stickler for rules that no one has bothered to explain. And it’s a dead ghost stuffed into her locker. 

Yeah. That’s what death is. 

As the prime suspect, Bridget needs to figure out who the murderer is before she’s arrested. Or before she becomes the next dead body stuffed in her locker.

If you like sassy heroines who break all the rules, laugh out loud humour and whodunnits that keep you guessing until the very end, then take a walk on The Other Side with Bridget Sway.



Millennial Philosopher: Thoughts and Dick Jokes

by Vaibhav Chopra

“Come for the philosophy, stay for the dick jokes.”
Young and confused? This one’s for you.
If Socrates or Confucius were millennials, how would they perceive the world? What kind of solutions would they provide to the problems that trouble our youngsters?
“Can money buy other forms of happiness too if it can buy weed?”
“Can aliens watch me masturbate?”
“Will there be a third World War if chocolates go extinct?”
“If I like having sex, should I try my luck in the porn industry?”
If you any of the above questions, first of all “You’re weird” and second of all, you have come to the right place.
In his book, Vaibhav Chopra, a millennial himself, attempts to answer these questions with a sense of humour that requires a facial pimple density greater than five per square decimetres, both to write and understand, He explains what’s going on in his mind and his stand on different arguments in classic youngster lingo, where decency and politeness get thrown under the bus to make room for pure awesomeness.
Coming from a generation that can change its feeling and philosophies by the click of a button on their smartphones, Vaibhav examines humans and the things they do in a way that’s “not polite to the pronoun” if you know what we mean. Even the author isn’t free from the bipolarity that comes with pubic hair to the teenagers. At one moment, he makes you feel like you are the worst person in this world and the next, you will feel like the stars “ain’t got nothin’ on ya” when it comes to shining.
Atheism, existentialism, nihilism, and even reality itself is questioned. Nothing is off-limits. Either you’ll rip your hair out in frustration, or you’ll be amazed enough to run on the streets naked shouting- “Eureka! I’ve found it.”
To contact the author, use: [email protected] ( because [email protected] was already taken)
or visit https://vchoprachopra32.wixsite.com/helloworld (because he doesn’t have enough money to buy a custom domain)



The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

by Washington Irving

“The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” is a short story by Washington Irving contained in his collection The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent., written while he was living in Birmingham, England, and first published in 1820. With Irving’s companion piece “Rip Van Winkle”, “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” is among the earliest examples of American fiction still read today.



Random Scrabble Word Lists: And Tips To Help You Improve Your Word Game

by Tyler Indiana

Have fun learning with these lists of words to improve your word game!

There are random lists, a word search, a tile tracking sheet,

AND NOW A FREE BONUS BOOK!

Get Learn All the 2-Letter Scrabble Words:
How to Memorize 105 Words and Improve Your Game Score

ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!
It’s included at the end of Random Scrabble Word Lists.

These words are official words in The Fifth Edition Official Scrabble Players Dictionary by Merriam-Webster published Aug 11, 2014.



Death Takes A Happy Hour

by K. Anderson Yancy

Perpetually tired from working 24 hours a day since Adam & Eve were cast out from the Garden of Eden, The Angel of Death takes a Happy Hour and chronicles how he was “promoted” from the Arch Angel of Truth to The Angel of Death because “No one wants to hear the truth all the time.”

~~~ Companion SonicMovie, premium Audio Drama, available on Amazon December 31, 2014 ~~~



Everything is Possible: a teacher’s tale

by Balan Sridhar

This short story details the journey of a Teacher to a Principal. It is hilarious, satirical and realistic. The story is set in the Indian school context. It poignantly shows the struggle an ordinary Teacher trying to become the Principal of a private school run by a man who is in no way related to the field of education. Though it is a work of fiction, the author has incorporated his real life experiences with wry humor. It’s from the heart of an educationist. It’s an ongoing endless journey of an individual.



Betting Venture TMPC Method Twins Level 1 Third Edition

by OwnSelf Greatness

Control your bets and use the TMPC Method Twins and you will have fun using this system. It’s the TMPC Method Swap close cousin, it brings a different bet type then the Swap but like the Swap you can double your money and only risk $8 using this system. If you are interested in a roulette system that will generate on auto pilot without making decisions yourself I will recommend TMPC Method The One.
Understand And Apply To Use TMPC Method Effectively
Ups and Down: You will never just go straight up without running into some problems. (You will always have ups and downs in life)
Discipline: Control your actions. (Don’t start playing out of control)
Focus: Understand what’s going on in the game. (Let the game have your full attention)
Patience: You don’t always have to bet, you can always wait till the conditions fit you. (Don’t be in a rush relax and stay calm)
No greed: You don’t always have to profit every turn sometimes it’s smart to take the small lost. (Don’t get greedy)



Roulette Strategy TMPC Method 1st, 2nd & 3rd Double ( First Edition ): Winning Roulette Strategy & System

by OwnSelf Greatness

TMPC Method 1st, 2nd, & 3rd Double will give you double the results of the TMPC Method 1st, 2nd, & 3rd Single, so if you already have used Single you will love the Double.
Understand And Apply To Use TMPC Method Effectively
Ups and Down: You will never just go straight up without running into some problems. (You will always have ups and downs in life)
Discipline: Control your actions. (Don’t start playing out of control)
Focus: Understand what’s going on in the game. (Let the game have your full attention)
Patience: You don’t always have to bet, you can always wait till the conditions fit you. (Don’t be in a rush relax and stay calm)
No greed: You don’t always have to profit every turn sometimes it’s smart to take the small lost. (Don’t get greedy)



PUMPKIN: PUMPKIN O PUMPKIN

by A.A DAR

The novel deals with the platonic love of two persons,Sara and Harris who were transmigrated souls of two flowers. It also deals with the jilt nature of Mr Smith father of Sarah who had a second woman in his life and deals with the effect of perfidy of her father. It also deals with the perfidy of John the sweet heart of Jenifer.It highlight the inter-caste marriage between Bob and Babita. The novel deals with the patriotism of Jamal who fought in Burma boarder under British army.His modern fairy tale love with Chin, a local Burmese girl.



A Scandal in Trumplandia: A New Sherlock Holmes Parody

by Craig Stephen Copland

A SCANDAL IN TRUMPLANDIA. Was Sherlock Holmes inadvertently responsible for the results of the election on November 8, 2016? This light-hearted parody (Note: NOT a New Sherlock Holmes mystery) reveals the secret meeting held between Sherlock Holmes and the GOP candidate for President of the United States. A devastating old film clip, made fifty years ago, if it is released, will completely destroy the campaign of The Dâ??. Only Sherlock Holmes can save him from self-destruction. But will he want to? And, if so, will he be successful? The story is a parody of the much-loved original story, A Scandal in Bohemia, with the character of the King of Bohemia replaced by you-know-who. If you enjoy both political satire and Sherlock Holmes, you will get a chuckle out of this new story by Sherlockian, Craig Stephen Copland.



Humancorp Incorporated

by Andrew Stanek

Humancorp Incorporated is another wacky comedy adventure from author Andrew Stanek. Meet Sean. Sean is the worst employee in the whole world. After being fired, Sean can’t find a job and enters a downward spiral. He becomes depressed, turns to drinking, and experiences thoughts of suicide and sociology professorship. Then, an idea dawns on him. He writes a letter addressed to “whoever runs the world” and asks for a job. The letter he gets back contains a job offer from a company he’s never heard of before: Humancorp Incorporated. Homeopathic suicide pills, giraffe catapults, and the Mandatory Organization of Anarchists – all in Humancorp Incorporated.



Incredible Humorous Chapters

by Michael Jones

I hope you liked Part 2 of these chapters from 6 of my 12 books? A lot of people loved Part 1 so I decided to do another. Pick your favorites which are easy to purchase as paperback or e-books on my website link to Amazon. You can download them to any device. I assure you, you will enjoy the endings. www.excursionthemovie.com



Dad Jokes: St. Patrick’s Day Gift Book (Ralph Lane Gift Books 4)

by Ralph Lane

Ralph Lane is an incredibly funny fellow, and his joke books are cherished by young and old alike. Everyone loves receiving one of Ralph’s hilarious illustrated Dad Jokes books for birthdays and holidays. Now Ralph has created a new gift book for St. Patrick’s Day.

The “Dad Jokes St. Patrick’s Day Gift Book” includes leprechaun puns, shamrock riddles and Irish knock knock jokes. Your friends and family will love this light-hearted look at all things St. Patrick including some Ralph Lane originals such as:

What does a leprechaun call The Incredible Hulk?
A Not-So-Jolly Green Giant

You were thrilled by the original “Dad Jokes Gift Book,” you celebrated the “Dad Jokes Christmas Gift Book” and you fell madly in love with the “Dad Jokes Valentine’s Day Gift Book.” Now it’s time to make everyone green with envy when they see that you’re the first in your neighborhood to pick up Ralph Lane’s “Dad Jokes St. Patrick’s Day Gift Book.” It’s better than a pot o’ gold at the end of the rainbow. Best of all, you’ll finally be able to answer these important philosophical questions:

How did the Irish jig get started?
Who was the leprechaun’s favorite super hero?
How can Ralph Lane tell if an Irishman likes his dad jokes?
When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato?
Why did the leprechaun cross the road?
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?

It just wouldn’t be a holiday without inviting Ralph Lane into your house for fun and laughter. So when you buy the “Dad Jokes St. Patrick’s Day Gift Book” for your friends, family and colleagues, don’t forget to pick up a copy for yourself. They say the only thing luckier than an Irish four-leaf-clover is having the entire Ralph Lane joke book series sitting on the your bookshelf (or back of your toilet at least). So be a lucky leprechaun and pick up your annual supply of Ralph Lane Dad Jokes books for all the holidays.



Would you rather …! Answer at your own risk!

by Volodymyr Bondarchuk

27 “WOULD YOU RATHER…” QUESTIONS
The book includes crazy questions about
– death;
– aliens;
– demons;
– time machine;
– teleport;
– flights to other planets;
– etc.



Englishwoman in Paris

by Jenny O’Brien

Englishwoman in Paris; the new romance series from Jenny O’Brien, writer of the popular Ideal Girl Trilogy. For Downton Abbey fans (Second Edition, published August, 2017) NB: Free prequel now available, ‘Englishman in Blackpool’.
22 year old Lady Sarah Cosgrave is a student at the Sorbonne and heiress to millions, but only if she’s engaged by the time she reaches 23. She’s in urgent need of a fake boyfriend to appease her parents. Anyone will do as long as he has long vowels and a long pocket.
Handsome French builder, Pascal de Sauvarin is neither, but as he’s the only man available he’ll have to do. Can their love overcome the demands polite society throws at it or will she be forced to marry rancid Rupert?

BOOKS IN THIS SERIES AND IN READING ORDER, ALTHOUGH EACH IS A STANDALONE
ENGLISHMAN IN BLACKPOOL (free ebook) Large print paperback version also available with â??Dunkirk, Rescuing Robert’
ENGLISHWOMAN IN PARIS
ENGLISHWOMAN IN SCOTLAND
ENGLISHWOMAN IN MANHATTAN
ENGLISHWOMAN AT CHRISTMAS
*LARGE PRINT BOOKS AVAILABLE FOR ALL OF THE ABOVE TITLES*



Food for Thought

by Duane Poole

This is an ingenious, thoughtful, and philosophical book of diverse passages from the mind of the author.

Thoughts worth living for
I am a visionary seeing the picture in my mind way in advance.
I summon my imagination and all of its wonderful contents.
My faith never wanes, even though wishes can take a while to materialize.
Negativity seeks a way into my mind, using deceit, but I refute such thoughts.
My dreams never fade. I always keep them in the back of my mind.
I know a change will come because I’m stubborn and persistent.
Never am I discouraged by the time it takes for me to rendezvous with destiny.
I am still for the Lord, waiting patiently for a rainbow to appear when I least expect it.
Nothing stands in my way because I will circumvent any obstacle until I reach my utopia.
I’ll wait with patience and contentment for my innermost desires.
I won’t become a skeptic or doubtful of what is sure to come.
I want my thoughts and all I am thinking to manifest into the physical world.
You see, these thoughts are so magnificent that they alone are worth living for.

Extracted from Food for Thought by Duane Ashley Poole



Routines: Tips to Survive Parenthood for the Overwhelmed and Exhausted (The Busy, Working Mother’s Guide to Time Management)

by Nicolle Lowrey

The Busy, Working Mother’s Guide to Time Management
Routines
Tips to Survive Parenthood for the Overwhelmed and Exhausted

How to stop killing yourself as a mother

As a mother, it can be difficult to feel and be productive while raising a family.

No matter what agesâ?? your children are… Whether they’re infants, toddlers, pre-, middle, or high school,
you’re faced with being pulled in multiple directions. You feel exhausted, overwhelmed and instead of
Woman in charge, your role has become “ring announcer for the 3 ring circus”.

When your 40 hour work week is the only rest you have from your 24 hour a day job of looking for a missing
pair of pants that are on your shoulder, answering why life’s not fair, and waiting for dark to come so you can
no longer see the dark circles under your eyes.

And time management has become as impossible as your kids not asking for something as soon as you
sit down, leave the room, go to the bathroom, or breathe.

This happens to mothers everywhere.

That’s why I wrote this book. Inside the cover, you’ll discover:

The Importance of Routines
Why Kids and Critters Crave Routines
The Benefits of Using Routines with Your Children
Why You Struggle Building Routines
Habits to Break for More Productivity
The Importance of Meal Planning
Why Exercise Helps
How to Create a Powerful Morning Routine
Why the Snooze Button is Evil
Self Improvement Activities
How to Build Renewal into Your Day
The Importance of Solitude
How to End Your Day to Supercharge Your Morning
How to Keep the Bed Bugs from Biting

Caution: This is not a boring, drawn out book filled with mind-numbing strategies, tedious facts, or
uninspiring dialogue.

This book is straight to the point… featuring the best time management tips and methods that have
worked for me, along with numerous tongue-in-cheek anecdotes of my zany, unpredictable family.

Not a mother? Don’t fret. Although this book is geared towards busy, working mothers, there are
oodles of tidbits inside for father’s, non-mothers, or just plain humans.

Obviously, there’ll be some things that won’t directly apply if you’re not a mother, but the parts that do,
will be worth the price of admission!

Here are a few things that non-mothers will discover:

How to Develop Routines
How to Get Rid of Distractions
Why You Should End Your Obsession with Perfection
Why Excuses and Complaining are Holding You Back
Why You Should Eat a Balanced Diet
How to Improve Your Self Esteem and Confidence
Why You Should Take.a Break
How to Get to Get a Good Night’s Sleep

Want to Learn More?

Download the book now to manage your time, decrease your stress, and take back control of your life!

Scroll to the top of the page and “click” the “buy now” button.

About the author:

Nicolle Lowrey is an around the clock wife and mother of three children. In her spare time, she works
a full-time job and survives parenthood by finding the humor in the misadventures of her children.



Сон пÑ?авдÑ? скажеÑ?, да не всякомÑ? (Russian Edition)

by Ð?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?елÑ?ниÑ?кий Ð?вгений Ð?еонидовиÑ?

РазгадаÑ?Ñ? скÑ?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?й смÑ?сл своиÑ? пÑ?иклÑ?Ñ?ений во сне лÑ?ди пÑ?Ñ?алисÑ? издавна. СÑ?иÑ?аеÑ?ся, Ñ?Ñ?о Ñ?аким обÑ?азом нам пÑ?иоÑ?кÑ?Ñ?ваеÑ?ся бÑ?дÑ?Ñ?ее. ЭÑ?Ñ? Ñ?веÑ?енносÑ?Ñ? подпиÑ?Ñ?ваÑ?Ñ? Ñ?ак назÑ?ваемÑ?е веÑ?ие снÑ?, в Ñ?Ñ?ей способносÑ?и «веÑ?аÑ?Ñ? о бÑ?дÑ?Ñ?ем» Ñ?бедилисÑ? оÑ?енÑ? многие. Ð?десÑ? вÑ? найдеÑ?е немало лÑ?бопÑ?Ñ?нÑ?Ñ? исÑ?оÑ?ий на эÑ?Ñ? Ñ?емÑ? с библейскиÑ? вÑ?емен и до наÑ?иÑ? дней. Не ждиÑ?е исÑ?еÑ?пÑ?ваÑ?Ñ?иÑ? наÑ?Ñ?нÑ?Ñ? обÑ?яснений â?? иÑ? пÑ?осÑ?о неÑ?. Ð?ожно лиÑ?Ñ? познакомиÑ?Ñ?ся с мнениями Ñ?азнÑ?Ñ? авÑ?оÑ?иÑ?еÑ?ов по поводÑ? эÑ?ой дÑ?евней загадки пÑ?иÑ?одÑ?.



Bad : Six Sexy Gents Unmasked: A Collection of Bad Boys and Billionaires in the Big City

by Elle Brace

Who can ever resist the pull of a bad boy?

Bad: Six Sexy Gents Unmasked is a steamy collection of bad boy short stories that will make you want to get in touch with your bad side… and never leave.

This bundle includes:
Inside his Head by Elle Brace
Becoming the Good Girl’s Husband by Letty Scott
Andrei by Kimber Lee
First Blood by Synne Jakobsen
William Maxwell by Mel Ryle

From billionaires and punks to demons and werewolves, bad boys can come from all walks of life … and in any form.

Grab this collection and it will make you see their world in another light. It will make you see their world… through the bad boy’s eyes.



100 Chess Problems for the Rest of Us

by T. E. Klemm

Tired of chess problems that are (often incredibly) way “over your head”?

The fact of the matter is that too many chess books are written for the higher echelons of the chess playing world. Even if not designed strictly for those in the Grandmaster status, too many chess books are designed for players that make up only the top 10% to 15% of the chess playing world. (Players who can think a good 7-10 moves ahead in any given game.)

This book is for the other 85% of us — “The Rest of Us.”
The book includes 100 Chess Problems for Novice/Intermediate players that — while challenging the reader — will never be leaps and bounds above the reader’s capabilities.

The book is filled with hundreds of graphs and long, narrative explanations that will not only show the reader the answer to the problem, but EXPLAIN the answer.

Designed strictly for them, all intermediate players will learn from this book and sharpen their chess playing skills.



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